this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024

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Ex-Incels, how did you dig yourself out? (poptalk.scrubbles.tech)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

145 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm an ex incel myself, but I've been seeing a few users here exhibiting the tell tale signs. "I'm not attractive enough", "I don't socialize correctly", "I'll never find a woman" - all extremely unhealthy attitudes.

Personally I burned through many friendships and ruined a lot of chances with women because I was in the incel community. The community warped my view of women so much that I made it even harder to meet women, I became my own worst enemy. I lost friends because all I could think of was how horrible it was that they had girlfriends.

I have a friend who helped me out of it. She was the one who started calling out my bad behavior for what it was, and I started on the long uphill path out of it. I'm now married and stable for well over a decade, but I still think back to those days, and it depresses me seeing other people causing this themselves and not being aware of it.

So, Lemmy, for those who have clawed out of it, what's your story?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I don't think any incel would comment here since they might not know that they are incel.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I’m an incel. I can tell you how I clawed to became one.

[–] BangelaQuirkel 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Go on

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I’ve been living without having any kind of communication with women (except for my mother and sister) for 6 years, because I was in a boy’s school. That completely changed my view of women, in a bad way. Now I can’t talk with them because I’m afraid they’re gonna curse me, or feel bad because of me. I look bad, smells bad and can’t make someone happy.

And I hate couples. I somehow feel really bad seeing them, but I’m sure I’m not jealous. They’re kinda scary instead.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

While I studied the blade, he studied the 4chan.

[–] mrvictory1 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm on a different level, I didn't know the term incel, I had to look it up. Whether I am (an?) incel is debatable (EDIT: The term is more specific than I thought so the answer is no) but this thread definitely goes straight to mt collection. This is the type of content that makes me love Lemmy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

That is why they ask ex-incels

They know they were incels.