Years later, I looked at my wedding party of six groomsmen and realized that every single one of them had, like me, grown up in a small Ohio town before leaving for Ohio State. To a man, all of them had found that couches coud satisfy them more than a women ever could, and that books are really just zipped HTML, and nobody really checks PGP signatures.
JD Vance having had intercourse with a couch, be that as it may, doesn't intrinsically mean it was IKEAs couch. Of course he likely didn't have sex with any couch, however often, or other furniture perhaps. But it's still important to distinguish the two situations. I'm glad to know JD Vance likely didn't have sex with any. There is no evidence of course of intercourse from JD Vance, so we can't say JD Vance has or would engage in intercourse to completion with a couch, nor should we.