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Is it normal for men to be propositioned by swingers, and what makes a man an attractive candidate to swinger couples? (lemmy.autism.place)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

46 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have been propositioned by swingers quite a bit. It's to the point that if a couple is nice to me, I start getting suspicious. This has happened with acquaintances, long-time friends, people I've met at a party, co-workers, and even strangers at the beach. Three times that I can remember off the top of my head, they propositioned me and my girlfriend at the time (separate girls many years apart). Is this a normal thing? What about me could make me attractive to swinger couples?

I'm a cis-gendered straight male. As far as physical attractiveness, I would say I'm slightly above average based on what women have told me and how they treat me.

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[–] WeevilFriend 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

For me it's happened twice overtly and I suspect once that didn't become an explicit request. I'm vocally monogamous, I'm not very social, and I'm still kinda young so I feel like those numbers are pretty high. For me I feel like it's how I present myself and act, which is pretty stereotypically "queer." Once that gets picked up on by other couples I think they seem more interested.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ooh! This might have something to do with it. I don't make any effort to be extra masculine (a bro). And, if I feel like doing something feminine, I do it. Sometimes I do something feminine just to prove a point.

Disclaimer: I'm using masculine and feminine stereotypes prescribed by dominant hetero-normative culture. I don't really believe in those things like that.

[–] WeevilFriend 1 points 4 months ago

That's a good way of putting it! I normally act without regard for perceptions of masculinity or femininity and I feel like that's appealing for couples looking for a third.