this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 162 points 1 month ago (16 children)

Hold the debate anyway, and if he doesn't show up, replace him with a cardboard cutout with a recording of his greatest hits:

Sharks vs. Batteries

My Uncle The Nuclear Scientist

Inject Bleach

Shine a UV Light Inside the Body

Hannibal Lector is Awesome

[–] toomanypancakes 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] worldwidewave 15 points 1 month ago

What do you mean? Everyone knows that magnets don’t work when they get wet

[–] cheese_greater 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Plus all the Sir stories you can eat. I wish someone would package them into a storybook for adults that is humorous bullshit tales from Trump

[–] TexasDrunk 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't fight up hill, me boys!

[–] TexasDrunk 3 points 1 month ago

When the North famously fought the leprechauns.

[–] disguy_ovahea 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Nuke the hurricanes

[–] CharlesDarwin 11 points 1 month ago

Can we work in the Sharpie sketch?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

The revolutionary war airports.

[–] cabron_offsets 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie 1 points 1 month ago

🎵 hold me close with tiny hands, sir!

[–] Blue_Morpho 6 points 1 month ago

Planes Can’t Fly When It’s Not Sunny

[–] crystalmerchant 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lmao wtf is Sharks vs Batteries

I swear every day there's some new nugget with this guy. The firehose is so big it's impossible to keep up

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

well, you see, electric powered boats are extremely dangerous, because if they capsize, you have to choose whether to stay near the boat and get electrocuted, or swim 10 feet away toward a hungry shark. there are no other options, you see.

lol i wish i was joking

[–] n0clue 1 points 1 month ago

You could just shoot the shark with your gun, is he even an American?

[–] vanontom 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think millions of people would watch this. The contrast of Harris vs T**** would be shocking. And a huge issue right now is communication of the issues.

Take a handful of actually important subjects: healthcare/abortion, immigration, climate, democracy/fascism, education, taxes, etc. Let Kamala clearly and concisely explain her/Democrats position. Then "let virtual Donny answer" (play each of his rambling greatest hits; it wouldn't be far off his actual answer). Do this for each subject, like a good old fashioned debate. Make it clear this was not AI or manipulated, but actual quotes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

look at this cool sun. look!

[–] SlopppyEngineer 5 points 1 month ago

And have the Mexicans pay for it

[–] blattrules 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The republicans will try to elect the cardboard cutout in 2028.

[–] Serinus 2 points 1 month ago

If it has a mustache, but only under the nose.

[–] RampantParanoia2365 2 points 1 month ago

Slow the testing down, please!

When you're a celebrity, they just let you do it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

The sound from the wind generators cause cancer.

[–] ClanOfTheOcho 2 points 1 month ago

Might make a decent SNL sketch.