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Sounds like you’re doing more damage to yourself than the stranger did.
Maybe... maybe not. I have a lot of rage built up in me that I haven't been able to release in a healthy manner. Generally I can push it down, but, just like everyone else, I have my triggers and will absolutely unleash my rage and chaos wins. Sorry for the corny wording. It's all I could think of haha
This wording is troubling, and suggests that maybe you believe in the catharsis model of anger?
That's where you believe that anger is "stored" somewhere and "builds up" over time, and must be let out in some "healthy" way later. The problem is, there is no healthy way to express deferred anger.
If you allow yourself some visceral reward for getting angry and fixating on that anger, what you're doing is training your brain to look for excuses to become angry and stay angry, so that you can get that dopamine hit of "blowing off steam". It feels like it works, cuz it feels good. But it creates a link between getting angry and feeling good.
Pay attention to whether you have structures in place which are rewarding you for getting angry, and try to replace them with less rewarding, less stimulating responses.
I appreciate your concern, but it's not like that. I hate when I get that adrenaline spike because it immediately makes me feel like garbage. I get sudden hypoglycemia, and immediately need to eat something, and (since I just learned I have Polycythemia) my whole body gets gross and sweaty and red and overheated.
It's just not a good time for me. I have a justification in my head of why I can go off like that, but it's mine
Right on, friend. Take care. And I'm sorry you're getting kind of a rough response to being so vulnerable here.
It's just fake internet points. If people have a negative opinion about me, then that's their mental energy to waste, but thanks for the support
Settle down, Dennis Reynolds.
Had to search your reference. I hate Always Sunny