Dad Jokes

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506 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to [email protected]
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

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To kill a French vampire you have to drive a baguette through its heart. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

14 comments fedilink

Sure, it sounds easy, but the process is painstaking!

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44

You know one thing they don't tell you about having kids ... (piefed.jeena.net)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

8 comments fedilink

... It's how often you have to get up from where you're sitting. It's unbelievable.

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640

Some cool info about Vegas catholics (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by spicytuna62 to c/dadjokes

33 comments fedilink

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Why don't we use a base-12 number system? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

33 comments fedilink

It just dozen add up.

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105

How does a pawn move in chess? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

13 comments fedilink

It's pretty straightforward.

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What do you call recently married spiders? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

Newlywebs.

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Eugene Levy invited me to a pool party at his house, but when I got there in my Volt nobody was swimming. (fedia.io)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

6 comments fedilink

I drove my Chevy to the Levys', but the Levys were dry.

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What do you call a herd of sheep rolling down a hill? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

6 comments fedilink

A lambslide.

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19

Being a lawyer is hard. (lemmy.zip)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

11 comments fedilink

Today, I had an arbitration meeting, and when I walked in with a bag full of Big Beef and Cheddars with Horsey sauce, my client fired me!

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ok it's enough.... (feddit.de)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

0 comments fedilink

cross-posted from: https://feddit.de/post/3697294

ok it's enough....

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I just reviewed my vacuum cleaner on Amazon. It sucks hard. 5 stars. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 2 weeks ago by alyth to c/dadjokes

5 comments fedilink

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Hey, Jack! Didja hear 'bout the 'splosion in da cheese factory? (ttrpg.network)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

7 comments fedilink

Da brie was everywhere!

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What's the name of the lady standing in the middle of a tennis court? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

Annette.

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New job (self.dadjokes)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Jakdracula to c/dadjokes

2 comments fedilink

I changed my job. I'm working at Old Macdonalds farm, I'm the new CIEIO.

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Why couldn't the family leave the room after playing with Legos? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

0 comments fedilink

They were blocked.

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When AIs start creating AIs... (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 weeks ago by FreeLikeGNU to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

Maybe we'll see some AI generated dad jokes.

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What do dogs and phones have in common? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

They both have collar ID.

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Why can't you tell jokes about retired people? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

10 comments fedilink

Because none of them work.

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What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

2 comments fedilink

A can't opener.

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How do you annoy a robot? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 weeks ago by PopcornPrincess to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

Keep pushing its buttons.

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Did you hear about the man who accidentally drank invisible ink? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

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It goes without saying that... (self.dadjokes)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by solidgrue to c/dadjokes

13 comments fedilink

...

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This is a real TOSser (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

20 comments fedilink

Kirk: I'm having trouble hearing lately. Bones: Can you describe the symptoms? Kirk: Homer is a fat guy, and his wife Marge has blue hair.

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I bought a pet termite. I named it Clint. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

Clint eats wood.

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Until I got a pair, I always thought orthopaedic shoes were nonsense. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

5 comments fedilink

Now I stand corrected.