26

99

What's the name of the lady standing in the middle of a tennis court? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

Annette.

27

124

New job (self.dadjokes)

submitted 1 week ago by Jakdracula to c/dadjokes

2 comments fedilink

I changed my job. I'm working at Old Macdonalds farm, I'm the new CIEIO.

28

39

Why couldn't the family leave the room after playing with Legos? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

0 comments fedilink

They were blocked.

29

32

When AIs start creating AIs... (self.dadjokes)

submitted 1 week ago by FreeLikeGNU to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

Maybe we'll see some AI generated dad jokes.

30

102

What do dogs and phones have in common? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

They both have collar ID.

31

209

Why can't you tell jokes about retired people? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

10 comments fedilink

Because none of them work.

32

96

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

2 comments fedilink

A can't opener.

33

56

How do you annoy a robot? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 2 weeks ago by PopcornPrincess to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

Keep pushing its buttons.

34

123

Did you hear about the man who accidentally drank invisible ink? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

35

70

It goes without saying that... (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by solidgrue to c/dadjokes

13 comments fedilink

...

36

424

This is a real TOSser (ttrpg.network)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

20 comments fedilink

Kirk: I'm having trouble hearing lately. Bones: Can you describe the symptoms? Kirk: Homer is a fat guy, and his wife Marge has blue hair.

37

130

I bought a pet termite. I named it Clint. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

Clint eats wood.

38

315

Until I got a pair, I always thought orthopaedic shoes were nonsense. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

5 comments fedilink

Now I stand corrected.

39

70

Did you hear about the square that got in a car accident? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

7 comments fedilink

Now it's a wrecked angle.

40

55

I borrowed a bunch of tables from friends for a garage sale last weekend, and gave them back yesterday. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 weeks ago by spongebue to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

My, how the tables have returned!

41

145

What do you call a psychic little person who breaks out of prison? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 weeks ago by QuarterSwede to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

A small medium at large.

42

71

I think it goes without saying (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 weeks ago by ajoebyanyothername to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

43

50

What did the lettuce say to the celery? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

6 comments fedilink

"Quit stalking me!"

44

77

On my way to work this morning a tractor nearly crashed into me. The driver was shouting about the end of the world being nigh... (feddit.uk)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

4 comments fedilink

... I think it was Farmer Geddon.

45

67

I got a new pair of shoes from my recreational pharmaceutical direct sales outlet. (ttrpg.network)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

2 comments fedilink

I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day.

46

110

Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

8 comments fedilink

It's a little meteor.

47

70

What do you give a sick lemon? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

Lemon aid.

48

147

Why is money called dough? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 1 month ago by PopcornPrincess to c/dadjokes

1 comments fedilink

Because everyone kneads it.

49

42

I stopped telling "Yo Mama" jokes because they were déclassé. (midwest.social)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

3 comments fedilink

Now I tell Yo-Yo Ma jokes, which are much classier.

50

66

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/dadjokes

9 comments fedilink

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay gulls.

Dad Jokes

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717 users here now

Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

Rules

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to [email protected]
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
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