ADHD

Hello. I was diagnosed with ADHD one year ago already (I was 35 back then), but since then I'm only with medical treatment, in other words, with medication. This medication can keep my ADHD symptoms under control, at a degree. But it does absolutely nothing against my executive dysfunction and my focus issues, and I don't have proper tools to handle my ADHD.

On a Discord server someone told me to look for therapists that do online sessions from third world countries for ADHD people, but I don't know where to look for them, and I don't know whether they're actual therapists or random scammers either. I live in Spain (pointing that out in case you try to push your US narrative), and a psychologists charges between 40 € and 60 € per session, being one session per week. And I can't afford spending 160 €/240 € per month when I don't even have a job.

Does anyone can give me some advice or recommendations, or webpages where I can look for someone?

Having issues gathering vyvance, which is slightly working for me. A friend suggested that she has friends who can help get some from Brazil, where the DEA isn't down everyone's throat. Just curious about people's experiences

I recently started taking Vyvanse, it's been about a week. It really does make things easier to do. Previously I had taken it for about a week and everything was going well but then I started getting anxious and depressed. Quit it for a while, started it up again and the same thing is happening. Anybody else experienced something similar? Does it go away?

I was in the middle of something in another room and it occurred to me that this familiar expression could be adapted for ADHD: A watched pot never catches fire. Good reminder to exercise a little extra caution in the everyday tasks that get boring but are still dangerous if you get complacent. Driving, cooking, poking around in a running computer with screwdriver even though you know you should shut it off, that sort of thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I should get back to cooking breakfast before the "food is done" alarms start going off throughout the building.

Recently, I've noticed a pattern where I work extremely hard when I'm catching up on things or behind in some way. However, the moment I create a comfortable lead in life, I proceed to waste the next few days until its gone. All drive is gone, even if I have ideas of things I can do to move forward. Is there any advice anyone can give on maintaining that lead and finding motivation to keep moving when you get ahead on your goals and responsibilities.

Hey guys,
I've been taking Atomoxetine for 5 months and I'm thinking of trying a different med because it isn't stopping the ADHD for me.
I've been thinking it would probably be best to come off Strattera before I try the new med, firstly so I can be sure that whatever happens is caused purely by the new med, and secondly so that I can see what changes the Strattera actually caused.

How long did it take you guys to come off it (how quickly did you lower the dose)? If I wanted to start taking it again, would I have to wait another 6 weeks for it to work, like I did the first time?

CW: References to suicide.

I will try and keep this succinct.

I was diagnosed with ADHD-C in November 2022 and started on 20mg Elvanse/Vyvanse/Lisdexamfetamine. By Spring 2023 I'd worked my way up to 40mg. Two weeks ago, February 2024, I started on 50mg.

The 50mg has been a massive help to me. I've been much more productive and felt much more fulfilled. I stopped feeling suicidal. Around a week after upping the dose, I began noticing my heart racing and occasionally feeling tense or hyper-aware of parts of my body. The racing heart in particular is kind of irritating and I'd rather it stop. I've checked my blood pressure and it's healthy.

I recall similar sensations for maybe around a month after I was first put on Lisdexamfetamine but I am not sure how long they lasted for. I don't recall these sensations when I went from 30mg to 40mg.

I'm looking for some assurance that if I maintain a healthy lifestyle and check my BP regularly, that this will resolve itself in-time?

Relevant medical info:

• Cisgender man
• Late 20s
• approx. 90kg/198lb
• approx. 22% bf

EDIT: Updated with this morning's BP reading.

119/79 80bpm

EDIT 2: I'm going to provide reasoning as to why I haven't gone straight to my doctor about this. Firstly, the dose increase has been life-changing and I'd be so upset if I had to go back down. Secondly, I live in the post-satirical apocalypsescape formerly known as the United Kingdom and am therefore under the care of a private psychiatrist. Just to get on the phone with them would cost £100s and I'm relying on family assistance, which I feel guilty enough about spending. I could, within a few weeks, arrange to see my general practitioner for free but I don't think they'd be able to suggest anything aside from reducing my meds. Thirdly, I have faint memories discussing palpitations with my psychiatrist last year and he said that as long as I was monitoring my BP they'd pass.

EDIT 3: I honestly appreciate the concern of all of those who have taken the time to post. I've decided to send a message to my psychiatrist explaining the situation.

EDIT 2024-03-21: Received an email from my psychiatrist stating that as long as they're manageable and the dosage is helping, I'm safe to continue. They encouraged me to keep monitoring my blood pressure and heart rate. They suggested I be vigilant of chest pains or shortness of breath.

The last couple days I've finally been able to work on some of the big projects I care about and have wanted to do for months. But wanting to do all the things I want to do and having lots of ideas is painful, like before I got anxiety, ADHD treatment (which my doctor interpreted as being more of an anxiety thing) but also stopped doing the big things.

It's so tempting to ignore the things I really want and go burry myself in a video game or something.

like, do we share any of the same moderating team from reddit?

Hey guys, I'm looking for a sport to do because I'm super skinny and I'd like to gain at least a bit of muscle. I've done cycling and bouldering in the past, but neither made me any less skinny.
The problem with sports is it's very hard to do any sort of exercise with ADHD because beyond giving you no stimulation, it gives you negative stimulation, like when doing the plank. What's more, it usually requires a ton of logistic prep/going somewhere, which itself is boring and becomes a barrier.
One thing I can see motivating me is doing it with other people (I enjoy chilling with people and having banter), but for that I might as well go to a pub/society where there's no pesky ball I have to kick around. Team sports like football never really appealed to me for some reason anyway.
Has anyone had success making sports fun?

Due to a certain situation I'm living at work (for about two months now) I've basically given up tending to all the other stuff in my life and it's really starting to impact my relationships, my mental health and my job itself.

I feel so overwhelmed about all the stuff I still need to do I'm starting to have meltdowns everytime something new pops up (even something as small as a friend's birthday).

Just yesterday I managed to tackle one of the things I've been procrastinating and felt no satisfaction whatsoever due to the huge amount of things that still need to be done and situations that need to be addressed.

I feel I'm only able to handle one "crisis" at a time, and the moment there are two going on, everything else becomes one.

I also can't stop thinking about this whole situation, it's like my brain is constantly active but in the end I can't manage to get me to do anything. It's exhausting.

Does it happen to you too? How do you deal with that?

Edit: thanks to everyone who took time to reply and give honest advice. I'll read all the messages at the end of my shift

What hurts is that people treat it like I am doing this obsessive, unnecessary thing when in reality the amount I say sorry is perfectly tailored to the amount that I am randomly (random only from my perspective of course) pissing people off all the time around me with my actions. Which in practice means I say sorry all the fucking time.

Those same people that tell me not to say sorry I have pushed to the edge of their tolerance of me many times, and the ONLY thing I can do in those situations is say sorry in a genuine way. People really dont fucking understand having an intimate familiarity with those moments where someone is seriously pissed off at you and not only wants a practical explanation for why you fucked up but more importantly they need an emotional explanation that squares your apparent desire to be a good person/worker with the fact that you just massively fucked up something in a way that sure makes you look like a lazy, uncaring person. I have no agency in those moments, I am basically an 18 wheeler smashing through someone else's life but I have no brakes and LITERALLY the only thing I can do in that moment to make the situation better is apologize simply but genuinely in a way that conveys how hurt I am by own actions too.

Of course, the ones that love me always return to their more patient selves and apologize for getting frustrated with me, but apologies mean nothing to the memory in my body of feeling like I am always sliding towards seriously aggravating someone and hurting my relationship with them. Further it is only a learned, constant input of willpower and constant attentiveness that keeps me from constantly blowing past people's threshold of patience for me in moment to moment interaction and also in broader life contexts. An absolutely necessary survival strategy for me has been learning to constantly "manually breath" with my experience of reality so that I don't slip back into autonomic behaviors that immediately cause friction with the environment and people around me.

Saying sorry a lot is my way of double checking my social awareness and making sure I am not missing the fact that now I am just yelling at everybody for no reason because I am excited about the conversation or something. When people react with "hey, stop saying sorry!" the consequences are they are mildly annoyed at being asked the question, but when it opens up a conversation about something I have been doing that is genuinely annoying people around me it can often be the ONLY thing that saves me and others from a lot of unnecessary suffering. It also, and I can't stress the importance of this enough, is often the only thing that can halt someone from developing a narrative about who I am that is wildly inaccurate (I don't care, I am lazy, I don't like working).

The world is going to have to become a hell of a lot more accommodating and accepting of ADHD before I stop saying "sorry!" all the time and it is frustrating that people get upset at me for using a perfectly rational coping strategy in a society extremely hostile to my disability. Its like, people don't want to see the amount of effort I have to put into not being a burden on others because it stresses them out and feels like a broken record.... and sometimes I just get so angry and sad feeling like... yes that is exactly what it is like to be in my head 24/7, I am sorry you had to briefly experience that?

So I don't normally reach out to a group of strangers for emotional support. I worry about failing to communicate my views and I'm pretty "sensitive", but I don't like to be coddled either. But I've been lurking here and, while there are many viewpoints and voices, as a whole, I see this community as being considerate and supportive.

I had my first appointment with a mental health professional yesterday. This is after a year or so of realizing that I might have ADHD. I went down the rabbit hole for a couple of months, talked to my primary care and got a referral and everything! Heck, I even followed up with the clinic when they didn't reach out to me as they said they would (gasp!). I occasionally display a moderate level of adult proficiency and sort of need to as a middle aged man.

The practitioner was lovely and she did her thing. I work in healthcare as well, so much of the structure was obvious even if the specifics were outside my field. She sends me the screen and gets the office to call me to schedule a follow up.

And I feel myself stalling again. If I look-feel at myself, I feel anxiety about being labeled. I personally don't think it's a bad thing to get a diagnosis; however, there are those who say it doesn't matter, but they aren't aware of their feelings enough to say otherwise. Sorry for being cryptic. In particular, I worry about future job prospects if needed. I always want to perform my job at the highest level I am able to and it would suck to have something that should be seen as just neutral become a liability.

Second concern lies with family members. I have a loving family, but some of the older generation view mental health conditions as a personal failing. It's funny because we have members of the family in the generation below me that have an ADHD diagnosis and there is a loving acceptance of that fact. However, being a grown, I suspect that they would see it as character flaw and a personal failing. I've soft drop the idea that I believe that I have this condition.

The next thing I was hoping to hear about is people's relationship to masking and choosing not to mask. For years, I've accept that I'm a bona fide weirdo. Many love and accept it even if it's a bit too much at times. But it's sort of unfamiliar to be my weirdo self and realize that I spend a lot of time keeping it at bay. Heck, writing this message makes me wonder if I'm masking or leaning into my over-explainer self. (For the most part I'm enjoying the process, so I'll keep on keeping on).

Finally, I didn't follow adult ADHD screening sent to me my the mental health practitioner. It was emotionally difficult swing from "Holy shit ... I know that." to "I know that and I a fucking failure". The shame and depression is real and I've struggled with it for years. I only hinted at it in the interview with the practitioner. As I gain trust in her skill and competency, I imagine that I'll share more with her.

Oh and meds! I'm glad to hear that meds have helped so many! I tend to be medication hesitant in general. I can see it being part of a management regime. However, I lack the clarity to contextualize its role in a long term strategy which is seated in a long term goal. If you have been medication hesitant, let me know what helped you decide one way or the other. And if you use the meds, I'd love to hear if you situate it in a long term goal and strategy for managing the condition. Sorry for the big ask.

Geez. ... I guess the last thing I hate is thinking that I can't just be me for everyone. I have to have zipped myself up in a certain way and even use meds to do it. I think this is the rawest thing that I'm feeling. Apologies if I come of as prickish. I think I need to wrestle with this more and find loving acceptance for society and myself in society. I am generally a fan of doing what you have to do to be in this world. Be kind to yourself. Be careful not to hurt others.

Alright. Preachy oversharing done. I know this needs a proofing and am tapped out. Cheers!

When texting people in general I find it frustrating that people don’t seem to view it as a conversation. If someone texts me and I catch it and text back right away, I get frustrated when people don’t return the favor. They might text back 5, 10, minutes or an hour or more later. Why did you text me if you didn’t want to have a conversation? Why am I the one sitting here waiting for a response?

It’s like someone sitting down across from at a table and asking you “Hey, how ya doin?” You respond “Great! what’s up?” and they just sit there for 10 minutes not saying anything.

Might be the whisper of ASD in my ADHD contributing to not understanding how this social interaction actually works vs how I think it should work.

Anyone else have this grinding their gears?

E: apparently it’s just me!

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

When reading about the shortage, they always write about Europe or America. This got me wondering, is there an issue in Asia? if not could we order from there?

Context:

For the last month I’ve been on an absolute tech binge on reading up and tinkering with hacking ps vitas and other general computer faffing about.

This has lead me to not only purchasing not one, but two ps vitas in the last month, and spending basically every waking hour reading documentation, looking up new homebrews and plugins, and actually working on getting these things implemented.

Additionally, carrying around a tiny baby console has reignited but also a impulse purchasing a new handheld gaming pc. Now I already have a fairly decent one, an aya neo 2021, so 16gb ram, a 4800u processor, 1tb storage, etc. This baby’s literally been able to handle everything I’ve thrown at it, with the exception of Baldur’s Gate.

But now I’m really getting bothered by how heavy and big it is. So what do I do? I buy a GPD Win 4 on an impulse because it’s only a little bit larger than the vita, but has many many many pluses compared to my current pc (32gb ram, a 34% faster processor, 2tb storage, an on unit keyboard, a mini mouse trackpad, rear buttons (honestly one of the main things I miss about the xbox pro controller), etc). I’m still going to use the aya, I’ll set it up as a pseudo desktop of sorts probably, or use it when I do want that bigger screen.

But man I feel absolutely worn out from this. It’s been a ninth of just solid obsession and being unable to think about anything else. Not to mention the money I’ve spent that I really ought to be saving. And the worst part is I know there’s very little I can do to break out of it.

At least the comp I know im going to be using, the vita I think the fixation will die out once it’s all set up and configured... I think I enjoy the tinkering more than I will actually using it.

Does anyone else feel the same after a hyperfixation binge? It’s gotta be similar to stims making us tired right? Finally found something that releases the dopamine, and now it’s a tidal wave. Not to mention just the go go go go obsessive thinking 24/7. And it certainly doesn’t help that being so focused on this instead of literally everything else means I’ve missed my meds more times in the last few weeks than I have actually remembering them. Gotta love a self fulfilling prophesy eh?

Anyway, anyone else have a similar hyperfixation story they feel like sharing?

And I fully accept this is far too much to read lmao

What are some songs that make you feel like they may be about ADHD or the ADHD experience?

Here are some of mine. I love these but man I feel seen and heard and felt in these pieces.

Piece of Shit: wet leg Everything is boring: the beaches Edge of Town: Middle Kids

I strongly suspect that I have ADHD, but I can't see the benifit of getting diagnosed.

I know that if I get diagnosed and offically have ADHD I can get some medicine but I don't think I want that in any case.

Can you share your experience and what benifit you got from getting offically diagnosed?

After being switched to a new manufacturer for my generic adderall XR this last month I have been feeling spaced out, unable to concentrate and fatigued. I also noticed other people having problems online the last few weeks.

And for anyone that wants to say "it's all in your head, generics are the same" this manufacturer had a citation from the FDA this December failing on multiple points of "quality control":

FDA Data Dashboard

The citation's details states the following (summarized because the text boxes are images and not actual text...):

The responsibilities/procedures are not in writing and fully followed

Separate/defined areas to prevent contamination are deficient regarding holding of rejected components, drug product containers and closures before disposition

Buildings used in manufacture and holding of drug products are not well maintained

Equipment used in manufacture, processing, packing or holding of drug products is not appropriate design to facilitate operations for intended use

Equipment and utensils are not cleaned and maintained at appropriate intervals to prevent contamination that would alter the safety, identity, strength quality or purity of drug product

Despite there being no guarantee drug is the proper dosage or even that the drug is pure and uncontaminated the FDA had taken no action or even warned them formally.

I literally do not understand how this drug is being sold right now.

I was initially given Ritalin (10mg pills) to try out; I cut them into four pieces each and spread it over the next month and a half. It worked well, allowed me to work, and felt 'smooth'.

I ran out, found that they are expensive here (I was diagnosed and prescribed a week of pills - 14 - initially in Taiwan), and went to Thailand (neighbouring country) to get more. Turns out the place I went to only had Rubifen, a generic variant. It was about the same as I paid for Ritalin so I thought why not, and got enough to get me through the next year.

Fast forward a month and a half... when I am on my 'off' days (Sat & Sun, when I don't need to work or study), I am now reacting to things pretty badly. I snapped at my partner very easily, I almost put a window through because I knocked a bottle over, and generally had a miserable weekend. With Rubifen, I feel fine, able to complete tasks, work and whatnot. Without it I'm not sure I should be around other people. Is this normal? Will it level off or should I go and get something else instead?

Idk if this is allowed but I'm out of options. Does anyone have any tips on finding any pharmacy with Vyvanse/Lisdexamfetamine in stock? Every place near me seems to have been out of stock for 3 months now and it's killing me. Any help would be much appreciated.

So I recently got my diagnosis and a RitalinLA prescription. I started with 10mg and am now on 20mg. The problem is, that I don't feel any difference. I don't take it on weekends, so I have regular references, but everything is still the same. For reference I'm an early twenties male. Did anyone have similar experiences and if so, was it just a dosage issue? Because I feel like there should be some effect at least.

I was perfectly on time this morning when I woke up (which is rare) and everything was going smoothly until my routine was interrupted due to a phone call from my Mom and I forgot to take my meds before work.

I didn't realize I did until about an hour into my shift and something felt off. I had doubts as I was getting ready for work but my doc said to never take extra. (Edit: and remembering what it was like going from 40mg to 60mg I definitely didn't want to accidentally take 2)

I was a bit too scattered (best way to describe it) and even my coworker noticed I was a lot more talkative than usual.

And then it hit me, I didn't remember taking my meds in the morning and saying the date.

By 4 hours into my shift my stomach felt off, and by the 9th hour I had a headache creeping in.

Unfortunately I got home within 12 hours (more like 10) of when I normally take my meds, so I've got to wait.

On the plus side I bought a pill organizer today so it'll be easier to know if I missed my dose as I will be able to see if I did or not pretty easy.

I head up a small community for fans of a niche indie brand. The founder is doing an event in Japan with an exclusive item for people who attend! I was so excited and was looking into booking a plane ticket to go!

However.. turns out that Japan has a law that absolutely forbids stimulant medication in the country. And, no, I don't really want to upend my regimen of 8 years and risk going on a new medication for the trip.

I'm really shattered, as I wanted to attend this cool event and meet up with other enthusiasts. It really hurts to be barred from an opportunity like this.

I hate ADHD. I really do.