this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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Europe

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[–] [email protected] 88 points 10 months ago

How is this NOT the Onion?

[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Wow, imagine how bad this would be if the Dutch had the ability to think less of the English.

Edit: I imagine the plan involved British agents smelling like weed and standing in the bike lane yelling "woooo!" so as to go unnoticed.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 10 months ago

This is the UK version of nuking hurricanes 🤣

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Wouldn't this invoke NATO against the UK and demand a lot of reparations?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

I assume you mean Article 5, and no, yes, maybe, but probably no.

Article 5's requirement is that the members convene to discuss a response to an attack, not an obligation to attack.

Furthermore, this sounds more like an even dumber dumb Watergate, but with arguably, a moral justification i.e. covert burglary, maybe even armed robbery, for vaccines contracted to the UK.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

Article 42.7 of the EU Charta would also apply and is a bit more direct:

If a Member State is the victim of armed aggression on its territory, the other Member States shall have towards it an obligation of aid and assistance by all the means in their power

https://www.europarl.europa.eu/meetdocs/2009_2014/documents/sede/dv/sede200612mutualdefsolidarityclauses_/sede200612mutualdefsolidarityclauses_en.pdf

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It is not armed robbery when the military is sent to another country. war is ultimately always about ressources, so you could argue every war to just be an armed robbery gone wrong.

If someone sends their military to another coubtry without this countries explicit consent it is an act of war.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You can semantically argue anything you want, but ultimately I can't imagine any scenario where this would have been an actual war, or even resembling one.

If the goal was to seize assets contained within a one, or just several buildings, the most likely way this would have played out would have been covert foreign intelligence teams, not an SAS commando raid with a bodycount.

Would it have been incredibly dumb, and probably end up with the intelligence officers/assets arrested? Sure.

Would it have been anything like a HVT snatch and grab in Afghanistan? No. Just no.

Like I said, an even dumber, dumb Watergate.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yes I meant article 5 but did not remember the number 🙈🙈. Thanks!

[–] AEsheron 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Article 5 has been invoked once, the US invoked it during 9/11. They asked for some extra air reconnaissance around the middle east, and basically to have allies be ready for joint action that never materialized. Article 5 is not an immediate declaration of war or anything.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I always thought ISAF was the NATO 5 action.

I must admit I didn’t really pay attention to the legalities back then though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nah, not if the UK calls it the Leiden Invasion Act /s

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

they called it "special operation"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What in the actual fucking fuck lol. I mean, times seemed dire but Jesus fucking Christ on rollerskates.

[–] hakunawazo 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

That's Christ on rollerskates alright but where's Jesus doing the fucking?

[–] dasgoat 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

He's on his way to your mom give him a second, damn

[–] hakunawazo 7 points 10 months ago

With that skates maybe two.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

My mom is dead so that checks out. Thanks for checking on her.

[–] NickwithaC 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Of course that's a thing on the internet.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Of course that's a thing, because it's an AI image (with quite a few obvious flaws at that). You can just put your sentence into a generator and get something at least resembling what you thought about.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

With friends like these, right?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:


Boris Johnson’s appearance before the Covid-19 inquiry is not until Wednesday but it is already making headlines in the Netherlands amid a mixture of amusement and alarm at claims he asked for British spies to plan a “raid” on a Dutch vaccine plant.

The operation – according to sources who briefed Johnson’s employer, the Daily Mail – would have taken place against the backdrop of a tit-for-tat row in March 2021 between the then prime minister and the EU, which was moving towards restricting exports of vaccines across the Channel.

An “enraged” Johnson asked security services to draw up “military options” to obtain “impounded” doses of AstraZeneca vaccine from a plant in Leiden after Britain had negotiated a deal with the company.

But while Britain’s security services were spared their biggest debacle on Dutch soil since Operation Market Garden, the claim has been widely reported on front pages in the Netherlands.

Elsewhere, Russian state media generated a po-faced report on the claims, interspersing clips of Johnson with footage of British special forces and overlaying them with a sinister backing track.

Johnson is expected to admit some fault when he is cross examined at the inquiry but will also seek to talk up the things that he believed he got right, ranging from the vaccines rollout to eventually opening up the economy.


The original article contains 518 words, the summary contains 221 words. Saved 57%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Lol so fucking stupid

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

That hair tho

[–] Roflmasterbigpimp 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Looking at his Hairstyle and his crazy Ideas... Maybe he DID comb his Hair with a Hammer.

[–] Gamoc 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

He intentionally messes up his hair to appear more likeable, because he's a manipulative piece of shit who is incapable of not lying, even with his appearance.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The EU should increase its export tax on food products to the UK by 500% for a month and compensate the affected farmers.

Let them have a christmas on potato and chlorinated chicken.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The EU doesn’t use food and medicine as a weapon. Even Russia is still getting all the food and medicine they want to import.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It wouldnt be weaponized. The UK can still buy these products. It is only that the sale would incurr an additional tax that has to be paid by the exporting company.

Also the EU supports the US in its sanctions against Iran and has supported the sanctions against Iraq, that killed more than half a Million Iraqi childrens in the 90s by affecting food and medicine. The reimposed sanctions have lead to drastic inflation for food and rising food insecurity in Iran.

So it is not a moral stance of the EU. It is purely strategical and i find a strategic response to invasion plans perfectly appropriate

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You’re literally suggesting weaponising tariffs.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How is it "weaponized"? A weapon can injure and kill someone. If the UK needs to pay more for vegetables they import from countries they deemed an invasion discussable for, then this is hardly "weaponized". If the UK fails to provide its citizens with normal goods then it is an expression of systematic failure. Also the EU used tariffs on food products to handle the trade war instigated by Trump. How is that not an appropriate response to plans of a military invasion?

[–] Krzd 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Making food too expensive to acquire and causing malnourishment or starvation is literally injuring or killing people‽‽‽

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The british government has more than enough money to cover for its people. Poverty in Britain is deliberately caused by the british government, not by a lack of wealth of the overall nation. Also Britain can still buy enough veggies from the US and China. They just wont be fresh.

[–] Krzd 3 points 10 months ago

The government isn't the one paying the tariffs though??

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Sounds like a great idea, I'm sure that'll be a top quality learning experience for the poor who are already facing a cost of living crisis, that'll really teach them...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dead cat dead cat dead cat

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago