this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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I was thinking about sentences that can tell the entire story on their own. I have 2 common examples:

  • So, I started to play WOW
  • My husband was 20 older than me

I can already tell how is gonna develop and end. What other sentences you know that have this effect?

all 33 comments
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[–] TOModera 73 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"I'm not racist, but" oh, they are going to say something racist.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's fun to put "I'm not racist but" in front of totally innocuous statements.

I'm not racist but there's a blue Hyundai parked outside my building.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It still works. If I heard that my first thought would be "who are they racist against?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

β€œI’m not racist but the weather is nice todayβ€œ

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I use something similar often. "I'm not racist but the color of the bread is white."

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

See also, "Nobody likes to say it out loud, but..."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

"The hard truth is..." something completely obvious.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Something completely untrue.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I'm not gay but..." proceeds to say the gayest thing you have ever heard.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Oh weird, I did that one constantly as a kid. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"I promise" followed by anything. That thing will 100% not happen.

[–] tacotroubles 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I Promise I will get a girlfriend.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I promise i will NOT get a girlfriend.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The universe works out the logic of this statement, weighs the pros and cons of complying, ultimately decides to just shut things down.

[–] idunnololz 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I promise that in a few hours the sun will rise.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You've done doomed us all, donnie!

[–] KillerTofu 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My husband is 20 years older than me, we have been together 17 years, what is your autocomplete for this?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"... and then he told me I should be a stay at home wife, and I accepted, we had 5 kids after we initially agreed to only have one but he pressured me, we moved to his hometown where I knew no one, he controlled all of my finances, after 12 years of marriage I confronted him for cheating on me but he always denied it, until I found his second family but I couldn't leave him because I had no money of my own and lived far away from my family, then he became physically abusive and telling me that I was nothing without him, I needed help to leave him but im still fighting in court over child support and shared custody, but he is now with his third family and refuses to pay for nothing, I should have left him a long while ago but I couldn't see the red flags and even my family thought at the time it was a bad idea to marry him but they knew I wouldn't listen because I was 20 and naΓ―ve"

I've seen so many cases with different variations.

[–] KillerTofu 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, we’re gay, I’m the breadwinner and no fighting over custody of anyone.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Cool. So nice to hear. Congratulations.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] idunnololz 4 points 1 year ago

πŸ’ŽπŸ™Œ

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

"I don't like to spread rumors .... "

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

"I'm sorry that you..."

... feel offended by my point of view.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I loaned one of my friends $500 two months ago and

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

.. he paid it back double. What a fella. Salt of the Earth type. Super Buff. We're getting married next July after he leaves his wife. Has problems with birds.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

it's not you, it's me.

we've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty.

and getting married, love at first sight!

...whatever could go wrong?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Hello there...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Dont worry, you can trust me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Once upon a time...

[–] surfb 2 points 1 year ago

And then he/she said : I am going to thread you Wright