"I'm not racist, but" oh, they are going to say something racist.
this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Asklemmy
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It's fun to put "I'm not racist but" in front of totally innocuous statements.
I'm not racist but there's a blue Hyundai parked outside my building.
It still works. If I heard that my first thought would be "who are they racist against?"
βIβm not racist but the weather is nice todayβ
I use something similar often. "I'm not racist but the color of the bread is white."
See also, "Nobody likes to say it out loud, but..."
"The hard truth is..." something completely obvious.
Something completely untrue.
"I'm not gay but..." proceeds to say the gayest thing you have ever heard.
Oh weird, I did that one constantly as a kid. π³οΈβππ³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈ
"I promise" followed by anything. That thing will 100% not happen.
I Promise I will get a girlfriend.
I promise i will NOT get a girlfriend.
The universe works out the logic of this statement, weighs the pros and cons of complying, ultimately decides to just shut things down.
I promise that in a few hours the sun will rise.
You've done doomed us all, donnie!
My husband is 20 years older than me, we have been together 17 years, what is your autocomplete for this?
"... and then he told me I should be a stay at home wife, and I accepted, we had 5 kids after we initially agreed to only have one but he pressured me, we moved to his hometown where I knew no one, he controlled all of my finances, after 12 years of marriage I confronted him for cheating on me but he always denied it, until I found his second family but I couldn't leave him because I had no money of my own and lived far away from my family, then he became physically abusive and telling me that I was nothing without him, I needed help to leave him but im still fighting in court over child support and shared custody, but he is now with his third family and refuses to pay for nothing, I should have left him a long while ago but I couldn't see the red flags and even my family thought at the time it was a bad idea to marry him but they knew I wouldn't listen because I was 20 and naΓ―ve"
I've seen so many cases with different variations.
Well, weβre gay, Iβm the breadwinner and no fighting over custody of anyone.
Cool. So nice to hear. Congratulations.
Have you heard of GME?
ππ
"I don't like to spread rumors .... "
"I'm sorry that you..."
... feel offended by my point of view.
I loaned one of my friends $500 two months ago and
.. he paid it back double. What a fella. Salt of the Earth type. Super Buff. We're getting married next July after he leaves his wife. Has problems with birds.
it's not you, it's me.
we've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty.
and getting married, love at first sight!
...whatever could go wrong?
Hello there...
Dont worry, you can trust me
Once upon a time...
And then he/she said : I am going to thread you Wright