No Stupid Questions
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
I might call it gaslighting yourself, but I think the psych term is minimisation
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimisation_(psychology)
It has related terms and it seems to match up with what OP was looking for
"self invalidation" also comes to mind, but I'm not sure if the term is actually used professionally
I used to get this a lot, until someone reversed it on me, and I've thought about it this way ever since: If you can't let yourself suffer because others might have it worse, then you also can't let yourself be happy, because others have it better.
It's all about personal experience and perspective.
Comparative Suffering is close possibly.
https://withtherapy.com/mental-health-resources/what-is-comparative-suffering/
I think these thoughts are a bi-product of empathy. When you are attuned to the pain of others, it can be easy to invalidate your own. I once heard an exchange on public transit where 2 strangers were discussing their hardships and a sort of one upping of trauma was occuring. Eventually one of the participants said "we all feel pain in our own way" and that stuck with me as a tool for understanding my own tendancy to under value the trauma I have experienced throughout life.
Hope that helps provide some insight or a thread to tug at for understanding.
Invalidating
It sounds an awful lot like what I've heard people with clinical depression say, a type of self-invalidation of your own emotional state.
OP, you could be the poorest person in the world and you could still find someone who's got it worse. Everyone has problems, but that doesn't mean your problems shouldn't matter to you.
I don't know your situation, but if you hate your job, you should try looking for a new one - even if it's the same thing you're doing now but in a better workplace.
Those are very kind words, thank you. But the quote I gave was purely imaginative, I might have said something along these lines back then (in 2012ish I think), which resulted in the conversation mentioned above, where a close person said something like "this is actually something people with x often say, it is called y" (he was seeing a therapist back then and was constantly trying to diagnose me as a female narcissist I think).
As for now, I am doing very well, it just often comes to mind. That person left some impressions I often think about. There was also a story about a monster in a suitcase that I vaguely remember and it crosses my mind so often, I will probably also ask about that eventually.
On the other side, you can have plenty of money, friends, family, and other nominally positive indicators of success and happiness and still be abso-fucking-lutely soul-crushingly depressed. Then you start down the shitty spiral of hating yourself for not being happy which makes you even more depressed and angry at yourself.
If you have to coin a phrase for it, I'd say something like comparative minimization rationalization.
Coping?
Invalidation
Perspective
Sounds like a part of Imposter syndrome. “My problems aren’t that bad”, but if someone else had the same problems? You would recognize it as it is. Only when they are your problems do you decide you shouldn’t feel as bad about them.
Being an AAPI?
Google says this means Asian American and Pacific Islander but I am not sure if this is what you mean
No. It 100% is. You are taught from an early age to not complain because you have it better or things could be worse. To the point that your elders are being violently attacked in the streets and you are still told to stay quiet because it is a turning point for a different persecuted group.
And you believe that and try to stay quiet about the brain damage.