this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 168 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I didn't even register this as satire until I opened the article. The headline is just too believable.

[–] pdxfed 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was a full paragraph in.

[–] TheLowestStone 22 points 1 year ago

I'm still not 100% sure it is satire.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

I mean it's not wrong.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Not believable at all because I've seen it with my own eyes and know it to be true.

[–] [email protected] 92 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can always forgive a little witchcraft as long as the witch hates the gays, too. "One of the good ones."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

So long as they're hurting the right people

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

She has grit, plain and simple, like a certain big fella I know. Hint: his initials are J.C

James Cameron?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] TurnItOff_OnAgain 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] billiam0202 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

John Cleese

(edit: remembered a funnier comedian.)

[–] canthidium 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] agent_flounder 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Alivrah 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] quaddo 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Jesus Castro?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

More accurate than you might think.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I had one crazy aunt who went to HP book burnings back in the day. She wasn’t even anything that weird, just regular Catholic. Dunno what made her think she needed to do it because the rest of the family is also Catholic and they weren’t doing it.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's hilarious because my priest at the time encouraged people to read the books.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Catholics got some extra crazy somewhere around 2000-2008, I can't pinpoint when it happened, but the community changed somewhere around that time. Like there was normal conservative Catholic, and then suddenly I noticed that Evangelical type start to join up. I'm no longer practicing now and consider myself agnostic.

[–] Hotdogman 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They were preparing for the rapture of 2012. Must have been quite akward the following Sunday at church when everbody showed up.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I read an interesting take on 2012, which the Mayans or some ancient civilization also predicted. That the end of the world would be slow, and take years. It’s not going to be instant. I think it’s happening now, this cursed timeline that we’re all in.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah that’s what I thought I also remembered about the time. I was just a kid though but it’s stuck with me for some reason lol

So fucking weird.

[–] agent_flounder 3 points 1 year ago
[–] MycoBro 2 points 1 year ago

I read it as hp love craft and pictured her in the 40s burning books. Everyone was dressed like in the godfather.

[–] agent_flounder 19 points 1 year ago

Yummy onion. ಠ_ಠ

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I know this is from "the hard times" But I don't know if it counts as satire when I literally know people like this -_-

[–] jose1324 13 points 1 year ago

Lol this is supposed to be satire? I see this like evey day

[–] saltesc 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

“It’s witchcraft, but it’s anti-woke witchcraft, which we can get behind,”

Sounds like, someone's livin' in the past, man.

But this is how we get the witchcraft in... Finally! Prepare to call off the woke movement and we'll unveil the anti-wole curtain to reveal witchcraft to all the children! They'll be running around-checks notes... using magic or supernatural powers to inflict harm or misfortune on other!s And-... transgress social norms by engaging in cannibalism, incest and open nudity!

Muahahaha

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can't we use magic for more beneficial and fun things?

[–] TheLowestStone 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hmm... I guess so. As long as we keep the cannibalism, incest, and open nudity.

[–] MycoBro 2 points 1 year ago

I don’t want to live in a world without cannibalism, incest, and open nudity.

[–] NewPerspective 4 points 1 year ago

Why can't the title of the article just say the word we're all thinking: hypocrites

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago

Well yeah, people change. Either that or consistency is dead.