this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Little shits under 5 are preprogrammed to fucking try to kill themselves at post haste it fucking seems. That's why I support using those damn leashes for your suicidal toddler.

How the fuck did humans become the apex species when their young is hell bent into rushing into a sabertooths mouth?

[–] Alexstarfire 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Had enough kids that eventually one didn't do things like that.

[–] baldingpudenda 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You would think all those generations would have bred the suicidal tendencies out of toddlers. Instead we got easily fooled eyes and hackable dopamine drip.

[–] Alexstarfire 3 points 1 year ago

Mutations still occur. They aren't all good. :)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Maybe we were never supposed to protect em lol that's why the world pop only got above a billion when we started introducing "Hey let's not let the kids kill themselves" ideas and laws.

The little Jimmy that decided he wanted to pet the Gator didn't grow up to be Jimothy Bodangles, PHD.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Humans are also the ones publicly shaming parents for not removing their toddlers from sabertooths’ mouths.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My freaking niece. I love her with all my heart but almost every time I tell that little demon to avoid doing something, she daringly look at me with an evil grin and do it just meer moments after. She thinks everything is a game and my sanity is just another toy.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

How about letting her hurt herself (slightly)? If she’s old enough to understand you, she’s old enough to learn that people who tell her not to do something mean well.

[–] grabyourmotherskeys 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My nephew based his life on Dennis the Menace. I was cooking a family and got called out of the kitchen where I was working alone.

Two minutes later I come back in to find this kid (maybe 5?) waving my razor sharp french knife around.

I very carefully removed it from his grasp and when I wasn't using it I put it under a towel at the back of the counter. Told his parents to watch him.

Later he's got it again and a steak knife.

I take all the blades, put them in a box, and put them way up high.

Come back later and he's got a chair against the counter, a box on the counter, and he's heading back up the chair with more of mother's cookbooks to pile up to stand on...

Some kids are a little more extreme.

Edit: cooking a family feast, not a family (see first paragraph).

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cooking a family, you know you can go back and edit where you wrote that instead of adding an asterisk at the end of your essay.

[–] grabyourmotherskeys 1 points 1 year ago

Thought it was funnier that way.

[–] themusicman 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a choice for the parents to make. I would never take that risk as an uncle

[–] vonxylofon 0 points 1 year ago

Talk to the parents then?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It's a good idea but the problem lies in the "slightly" part. The house is under renovation so the dangers are real.

Nonetheless , The idea is very interesting so if such scenario ever present itself I will certainly try it.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Reframe your delivery. When we tell people not to do something, that's the first thing they think of.

For example If I tell you not to think of an elephant, what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

So here's the solution: Redirect her to other things /activities so it takes her mind off of the bad thing she's about to do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tried it and it kinda works but kids can be too stubborn sometimes.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

She sounds like a free spirit. Maybe she needs less micromanaging, because kids who feel oppressed will try to break out of it like punching through a paper bag.

She'd probably thrive with tons of freedom

but with strict consequences if she does something dangerous to hurt herself or others.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You said it all.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Even when they’re far too young to verbalize the idea, toddlers inherently know that the only time they can attempt certain things is when no Big People are looking.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

attempt things like suicide?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

But they don’t know it’s suicide, so that makes it cute. Right? Uh, right?

[–] benderbeerman 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] vonxylofon 3 points 1 year ago

Oh no, step stool, what are you doing?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

i feel like it because they just came from the void

[–] GrammatonCleric 5 points 1 year ago

Baby's Day Out

[–] Imbrex 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ive had to tackle my kids to keep them out of traffic more times then I'd like to discuss