It’s just porn. It doesn’t do anything by itself. It’s up to you what role it plays in your life.
this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2023
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While I get what you’re saying, it’s worth pointing out that there is a lot of extremely shady behavior that goes unchecked in the industry. A lot of performers are chewed up and spat out just a few years later, often addicted to drugs.
It’s definitely worth pointing out. Exploitation is always wrong, but the porn industry is a whole other level.
Sex work is work and sex workers deserve safe working conditions and reasonable pay just like any other workers.
Yep. There's some producers trying to change that, but the cultural momentum is strong.
Sexologists seem to generally believe it can be.
My general attitude is to treat it like any other easy good feeling thing. Masturbating whenever you feel bad leads to it being your primary coping mechanism which isn’t ideal if you want an emotionally healthy sex life. I’d compare it in that way to using marijuana or alcohol. It’s a great way to have some fun and not a healthy coping mechanism.
That's a very black and white way of putting it. As long as you're an adult who can tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and you're not spending hours obsessed with it I don't think it's unhealthy. The way you phrase 'avoid it completely' makes it sound like you're going out of your way to avoid it already.
(I think the problems are coming through with the generation being 'brought up on porn', and thinking real sex is like it is in the videos online but that's a different story really.)
What you said at the end is 100% accurate and actually becoming a big issue
Masturbating is healthy, so who told you otherwise?
It gets problematic when you have health issues or social problems due to porn or if you neglect other parts of your life.
It's a way healthier addiction than a drug addiction though. Smoking, drinking, substance abuse in general are more harmful to your body. Even if you drink just one glass of wine every month it will probably be more harmful in the long run than masturbation.
1 glass of wine a month sounds a little too less.. I'd like one every meal after masturbating
Pretty sure it is same as with anything. Too much is too much and of you get addicted, the it is obviously too much. Couple times a week to jack off is probably ok.
Thumb rule with anything: if there is no problem and it doesn't cause harm to anyone, then why not?
It can be used in healthy ways, to explore your own preferences and fetishes, for relaxation, to learn your partner's desires, you name it.
But as with everything the dose makes the poison. When your thoughts are permanently around your next chance to watch porn, you search (and probably find) ways to watch in public/inappropriate settings, ... Then you have a problem.
As someone else put it perfectly in another comment: it's just porn. It's not going to affect the life of the person viewing it unless said person lets it.
IMO, tho, as with most things things in life, just doing as the Greeks did is a good rule of thumb: you doing this in moderation? you're good.
Not always a matter of choosing yourself.
Problems can also form subconsciously.
Why doesn’t the alcoholic put down the bottle? He is letting it damage his life and should simply choose to stop.
The alcholic is already in a habit. What i put was not written with the idea of an addict in mind, simply that the act (porn) is not some evil, rotten thing that should be avoided like the plague, but should instead be treated as a neutral thing and viewed with moderation--should a normal, non-addicted person decide to do so at all.
Also, that you used that specific example for your comment, considering I actually did put the bottle down a while ago because yeah, boiling it down, it pretty much was destroying my relationships and not doing my already weak ass immune system any favors, made me crack a smile NGL
wow. just commenting to say I can't believe two folks did this type of bs response to your comment. its clear the OP and you were discussing casual use of things and not unhealthy levels especially since your original comment goes out of the way to mention moderation.
Eh. It be like that sometimes. Re-reading everything again, i was pretty clear in what I said in both the reply to the OP and comments back to them. They and anyone else wanting to take it as something contrary to what I actually wrote down (which itself isn't rocket science) is on them, really.
OP didn't imply thqt he was asking about it at an unhealthy level, so i responded to that.
Yes. No.
Modern porn is a problem, firstly it teaches you a lot of wrong things and gives you a bad understanding of how sex should be and what it means to be a respectful participent in a sexual encounter.
Another problem is the disturbing amount of human suffering in the porn industry. So many abused and raped and you can never know which is which, heck you can't even know if that "teen" is a 19 yo or a 15 yo since they will always say 18 but try to get the youngest possible.
There are healthy ways though, there is "ethical porn" (search it) which vets the actors and pays them fairly, it usually also is more soft and presents a much more realistic view of sex.
Just like any extremly rewarding action you should be careful not to get addicted to it.
P.S: don't confuse porn with masturbation, two different subjects with different issues.
As a cis man I watch female friendly porn. I'm disturbed by all the step-porn.
It's disturbingly common! I guess it's just the current trend of "inappropriate relationship", which used to be nurse/patient, teacher/student, boss/secretary, etc. It's more pathetic (to me) to see the cast "acting" as family members than to pretend to be a certified teacher. I've got to assume they roll their eyes whenever the camera stops rolling.
For me, porn is not really worth it because I get addicted easily. Some people might be able to use it in a healthy way but Idk.
I don't think porn is necessarily unhealthy by itself. I can see how a youn teen can get a messed up world view from it, but any well-functioning adult shouldn't be succeptible. As with literally everything, moderation and self-control is key.
Porn can be addictive and can promote toxic relationship values. If you don’t understand what you’re consuming or are predisposed to certain addictions, it can be debilitating. Sex ed and proper communication mitigate or completely prevent negative outcomes. Which is to say, talk to your partners and teachers while you can, folks.
Edit: I should preface this by saying I am approaching the question from the perspective of whether or not it is ethical due to the systemic abuse of women in the industry.
I have mixed feelings and would argue professional porn is, at least as it exists in the here and now, is completely exploitative on a systemic level.
If we move past that and limit the confines of the question to amateur/self-owned type paid porn: I would say it requires a society with healthy sex-ed in order for people to have a healthy relationship with porn on a societal level.
On the individual level, context matters a lot.
Personally, I think it should be temporarily banned until we fix the social problems that drive people into it.
I know it sucks for the people who have a healthy and consensual relationship with the industry, but as it is now sucks worse for the people who get exploited and abused.
Not only women are abused. Men and envy actors are harmed aswell. Basically most 'low level' people in the industry are, even porn stars. The ones pulling the strings are well off.
Good point, it’s less prevalent but still a huge thing. I only say this due to all the stories about “studios” that are basically abuse rings made by the men acting in the videos. There’s some fucked up shit going on in that industry.
I don't think it's inherently bad. But if you're a person with a tendency to become addicted to certain "vices", then it can become problematic.
I'd argue that you could look at different positions and maybe learn to utilize them in your romantical/sexual relationship(s).
.
Also, consider who and what it might benefit regarding what categories/tags you follow.
I was told that some groups/races may have involuntary or even close to slavery conditions in the production. Like, promoting people pressuring ladies under prostitution against their will and stuff for the moneyz.
I wouldn't want to promote such behavior.
As an addict I'd say that it can't be used in a healthy way. What I mean by that is that there's no benefit to watching porn. That doesn't mean it's always going to be bad but that at best it's neutral. If you can keep it under control and it doesn't negatively affect your life in other ways then I don't think you need to worry about it but it's a slippery slope. If you take 100 people and give them access to porn I'd bet that the total effect is going to be a net-negative even though most of them are going to be more or less unaffected.