this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] hperrin 242 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

You can definitely tell how old it is because both Rust and 3D printed guns have gotten way better.

And TypeScript is just the JavaScript sword, but with a cheap leather hilt.

[–] ours 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And C# now can be taken off the donkey and mounted on a penguin and works rather well.

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[–] flying_sheep@lemmy.ml 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's a heavy duty hilt that's easily detachable by a small recessed switch labeled “any”.

(It does its job very well as long as you don't opt out of using it)

[–] frezik@midwest.social 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Except the tool you use to build the hilt in the first place has 100 permutations of settings, and most of them kill you on the spot.

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[–] 9point6 32 points 1 year ago

because it makes it (type)safe to use..!

[–] alokir 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Also C# (or should I say the .net framework) is now cross platform, which wasn't really the case when I first saw this meme.

This joke made sense when instead of .net you could only use Mono with C# on other platforms, which wasn't very good at the time.

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[–] pingveno@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

And Python's migration to 3.x is more or less complete. Took a while (15 years since 3.0), but it's to the point where migration is not a common topic of conversation.

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[–] MHLoppy2@aussie.zone 118 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Through long and weary travels,* I bring the gift of source preserved by the workers of the great archives: https://web.archive.org/web/20140831164530/http://bjorn.tipling.com/if-programming-languages-were-weapons

* (they weren't that bad honestly, a kind soul that took the journey 9 years ago made mine much shorter)

[–] DieguiTux8623@feddit.it 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you! The original source of truth! 💎 As IT people, this is part of our culture and should be transmitted. 🤣

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[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 69 points 1 year ago (12 children)

C++ and ruby are weird, especially since C is somehow considered a reliable rifle. Rust betrays it's age

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 64 points 1 year ago

C is reliable in the sense that your C program reliably has memory leaks and security holes.

[–] Jesus_666@feddit.de 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As does C#. The Windows-specific parts are not the parts most developers will use these days.

[–] pipe01@lemmy.pipe01.net 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I took it as the donkey being .NET

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[–] DieguiTux8623@feddit.it 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Agree. That one didn't age well...

[–] frezik@midwest.social 12 points 1 year ago

The M1 Garand is known for having a problem during reloading where you have to stick your thumb in a slot that's about to shut very hard. There are techniques to avoid getting pinched, but "Garand thumb" is a well-known phrase among vintage rifle enthusiasts.

This fits C very well.

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[–] Treczoks@lemm.ee 47 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Old enough they still know Prolog.

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[–] Siethron 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

(?(bruv(,(problem(a(got(you(,(Oi)))))))))

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[–] roo@lemmy.one 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's funny because people describe PowerShell as powerful, but really they mean it's also a hammer to mash everything with. "Powerfull!"

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Powershell suffers from the typical Microsoft problem: Ignore for decades, and then go completely over the top with it.

[–] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I see Powershell as a nuclear bomb. It is extremely powerful and complex and barely anybody uses it because of it.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 11 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Isn't powershell just bash but for windows?

[–] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Powershell is so much more than bash, not in a derogatory way.
It's a full fledged object oriented programming language, and it's written in .Net I believe. You can integrate tons of plugins to manage your whole infra (exchange, Cisco, AD, VMware etc), just from the Powershell shell.
I hate it because it's slow, clunky and overly complex for its prime use, which is scripting.

[–] alokir 16 points 1 year ago

Yes and no. They serve roughly the same purpose.

I actually hated Powershell until I was forced to work on some automation scripts with it and realized that it's actually pretty cool.

Bash is good for quickly doing something in the terminal but for longer script files I prefer PS now. It feels much more modern and has a less janky syntax.

Funnily enough the reason I had to use it was to make my scripts cross platform between osx, linux and windows.

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[–] GamesRevolution@programming.dev 36 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's a pretty good representation of Rust, being 3d printed means that it's the only gun where you can't shoot yourself in the foot

[–] dudinax@programming.dev 14 points 1 year ago

[flips safety off[

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But it can just blow up in your face

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[–] tiredofsametab@kbin.social 29 points 1 year ago (5 children)

"perl was probably useful once"?!

I'm willing to bet a TON of medical and banking data is still making its way through perl today. (I'm not necessarily saying this is a good thing, but I have years of experience in healthcare IT).

[–] sxan@midwest.social 36 points 1 year ago

For that matter, there are still folks out there coding, professionally, in FORTRAN.

Thing is, back then, we didn't know any better. Software was a commodity, and both the people who wrote it and the people who bought it had grown up in a time before the internet, before SaaS; people whose parents who, if they made things, made widgets.

Back then, you could write a piece of software, and it was done. Then you sold it, and moved on. If the old software had bugs, if they weren't catastrophic enough to cause a lawsuit, buyers learned to live with them. It was too bad; you already shipped the tapes. And few companies employed their own software developers unless they were software development companies. Man pages have a BUGS section, and that's because there's no intention to ever fix those bugs, because that software is done.

Software today is never finished. Our first reaction if we see a project with no recent releases is that it's abandoned, or dead, and certainly that it's worse than a project with recent commits to the repo. Github is a huge culprit in reinforcing this mentality, but mobile app platforms (stores and OSes) are terrible about this, too. Google constantly changes the Play store in ways that force developers to tweak their apps lest they become incompatible, booted, or get flagged as being "old" a.k.a. "inferior."

Yet, still, there's so much software out there that's complete. An institution may hire a developer to come in and make a change, but it's usually a contract one-off; it's more like taking your car in to have the starter replaced. Those systems are going to continue keeping "dead" programming languages (commercially) alive for years to come.

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[–] calypsopub 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I spent my career writing COBOL. Sad not to see it on the list. I think it would be a shield you can bash people with; clunky but effective

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[–] nieceandtows@programming.dev 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Python V2/V3??? How old is this thing? Not even Debian comes with Python 2 these days.

[–] trafficnab@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not even Debian comes with Python 2 these days.

It was only removed 9 months ago

[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 12 points 1 year ago

OP was technically correct, the best kind of correct.

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago (6 children)
[–] BluesF@feddit.uk 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Assembly is a scrapheap with every sort of technology imaginable but it's all broken. Could be an iron man suit, or you could just grab a length of rebar.

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[–] grue 19 points 1 year ago
[–] TrickDacy 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck a bunch of 50000 pixel tall images

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

back in my day that took 3 hours to download

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[–] frobeniusnorm 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] maniel@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

Yeah, fortunately rust and go married since then

[–] h_a_r_u_k_i@programming.dev 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then you have Clojure - a machine gun that shoots shivs.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago

Assembly: A gauss rifle, but you have to manually align the magnets

BASIC: 2mm Kolibri

Nim: An AR-15 that you can modify to shoot explosive minigun bullets

Crystal: A halberd with obsidian crystals

Pascal: Trebuchet. A small handful of people know how to make it a truly powerful weapon capable to bringing down any and every opponent.

[–] biestander@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] 9point6 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe try a different lemmy client, it loads fine for me in sync

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[–] Bumblefumble@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

It's a very large image, so many clients load a scaled down version. On Boost at least you can press the HD icon and it loads the fullsize images where stuff is legible.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like python would be an AR-15 or something, generic modern weapon that's easy to use but doesn't really do anything special

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[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Python needs an update:

Python would be a Tavor TS12 automatic shotgun with rotating tube magazines. It's heavy, doesn't have a fast fire rate, but it can fire a ridiculous array of ammunition, and they're working on the ability to fire all the barrels at once (GILess)

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[–] uzay@infosec.pub 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

JavaScript is a foam bat. Easy enough to wield and it'll get the job done, but very inefficiently and it'll be an ugly sight..

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[–] 9point6 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wonder what Erlang/Elixir would be, some kind of nano-bot hive mind?

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