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It's fun in the same way losing a game is fun. Its fine in moderation, horrible in excess or when one sided. It's still sonething you want to avoid, but not so unpleasant that I woukd want the game made of it to stop.
People who don't respect a hard no are not cool. But I also feel as though I am missing out when I'm with someone who I am close enough to tickle, but they won't tolerate any tickling.
it's fine I guess
don't do it to people who don't consent to it
Get consent.
I once read that tickling is actually a really excellent way to teach kids about consent, and to keep them safe by teaching them there’s something wrong when someone does not respect a repeated and firm “no.”
EDIT: Short article from a nanny explaining it better than I can.
This article doesn't really acknowledge that for some people, tickling can be really painful. "without control or autonomy. It can start to feel bad or scary pretty quickly." -- This can just as well apply to restraining someone. Which is why I'm not sure I agree with the premise. Most things, such as restraining someone, hitting someone, hugging someone, we can sympathise with as kids and therefore approach the notion of consent with sympathy. But tickling is a very different experience for someone who can enjoy it vs someone who can't.
Yeah, if tickling someone causes them pain or any other negative feeling I don’t think anyone is saying you should keep doing it. Especially since in that case it would be non-consensual in every instance, which defeats the purpose of using it as a tool to teach consent. There are other tools out there revolving around a variety of forms of touch or permission asking, tickling is just one.
EDIT: rereading my first comment I think it’s coming across like I was somewhat disagreeing with your first comment and that we should use tickling to teach consent even in the absence of consent. My reply was meant to be in total agreement, that consent is vital and that consent in tickling can lead to healthy attitudes towards consent in a wide variety of other cases.
I'm not saying the article is telling you to push boundaries. I'm saying the article is treating it like other forms of autonomy restricting actions, rather than as assault. This is accurate for most people and the lens kids will intuitively understand, but it's not accurate for everyone. Therefore it's an unintuitive lens for teaching.
OK, so you’re saying because tickling is painful for some number of people, it shouldn’t be the default first way to teach consent since hugging or other less invasive/painful forms of touch can do the same thing with less risk of harm?
That makes sense, and I can understand needing to treat it with more caution because of that.
Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to communicate.
Oh god I hate it. I can’t explain why it makes me feel so angry. Sometimes if I stretch with my arms up my husband will give me a little playful gentle poke in the ribs and I feel so bad because it honestly makes me want to punch him. I have this horrible visceral reaction to it. It doesn’t make me laugh at all, just feels like nails down a chalk board and painful at the same time.
I hate that too.
Oh my god same, I'm not a serious person, but the first very serious things I asked my so years ago was not to poke me while stretching, tickle me under the feet or pits and not to stick her finger in my mouth while yawning. That's peak me time.
I hate it, I'm quite ticklish and growing up my family thought it was fun to tickle me because I would always laugh loud and Wrigley around, that's only because it didn't feel nice like I assume other people feel, it hurt a bit to be tickled and when it's getting done for long enough it makes you cry, yeah tickling can fuck right off, I'll fight you now if you try.
I hate it.
You laughed though.
Not a fan, usually it just feels like someone jabbing me in the ribs with their boney fingers.
as someone who is ticklish af, its funny for all the first few times but if you keep pushing it im going to be ANGRY WHILE I LAUGH
That all depends on how, and the context in which it's done. My first girlfriend would spend hours tickling my back in between sessions - I never forgot those sunny days.
Now with more aggressive tickling - it is akin to a violent attack, and my father used to tickle me until I couldn't stand it, and then push some more. Often it ended with me in tears... so with my son, sometimes I'll grab a foot and start tickling it like mad - but I have a MUCH shorter cutoff time so that it ends with him laughing.
So it's not simple - but consent is a huge issue.
Can't say I have much of an opinion at all, but seeing this post is reminding me of that documentary where the guy was commissioning videos of young dude wrestlers tickling each other, and he played it off like it wasn't, but of course it was for sex reasons
I'm not responsible for your broken face.
Mom used to wake me up in the morning by pinning me down and tickling me, You can imagine the amount of flailing you would do going from a deep sleep to basically being assaulted. One time I somehow managed to kick her in the nose, it ended up broken.
Dont even feel bad.
It's something many people take too far/do too long. A quick tickle on the side or something is a cutesy playful thing to do. Tickling every chance you get, or tickling for a long time is obnoxious. Someone shouldn't have to yell or smack you to get you to stop.
Hate it just as much as I hate hugs when I'm on the receiving end.
I’m not ticklish at all, and this seems to make some people mad so they just weirdly poke and grab me while I’m like, “What are you even doing right now?” I don’t tickle people (unless they ask me to) because I don’t know how it feels, so it’s weird to me.
It's hilarious because when my gf and I got together, she was the same.
It was weird to me because I was very ticklish and I couldn't grasp how someone could not have that feeling.
But some time later, Idk why and when, but all of a sudden she became ticklish.
Good to know! I’ll be on my guard in case one day it sneaks up on me and makes me look like a damn liar. But so far, nada.
Not a fan I very much dislike it. I used to not be able to control myself but after many years of people exploiting my weakness I can now withstand it and be in control for a solid 10s I use that 10s to attack the person tickling me.
Naturally I'm avoidant as it's a game I always lose at. And everyone knows. Cue people challenging me Spanish Inquisition style.
It's fine if it is not used to silence or exploit you to do something.
AAAAAAARGH!
Debbie Kuhn, is that you?
I both like it and hate it. Tickle me, but if I say stop, fucking stop. I hate laughing so hard it hurts. 😩
I also am the kind of person that if you tell me you're not ticklish, I will tickle you to confirm it.
