this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2025
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Cyberstuck

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A place to post your Cybertruck fails! We're here to make fun of this hunk of shit and throw as much shade as we can to that garbage bag of a human elon.

No doxxing No slurs No racism And no fucking nazis!

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[–] pyre 41 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, I'm normally on your side on this issue but calling it a "swastidumpster" is tasteless and makes you look bad. even if you want to liken it to a dumpster please use the correct term, which is a dumpstika.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

two people (so far) did not read your post to the end lol

[–] pyre 9 points 2 days ago

those are my proudest comments

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

got me in the first half etc

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Its so poorly made it's not allowed in europe. And normal teslas had issues getting allowed to be sold in Finland cause they are just built to such a low standard. You are getting scammed when you get a tesla.

[–] Droggelbecher 6 points 2 days ago (6 children)

In my country, you would'nt even be allowed to drive it with a passenger car licence, as it exceeds the max weight for that.

[–] Maalus 6 points 2 days ago

You can't drive it in most of Europe because of the hood height and the fact that all angles of the cars bodywork are sharp. UK has minimum "sharpness" laws for instance

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[–] DarrinBrunner 17 points 2 days ago

Maybe the people who bought one should complain to a consumer watch dog agency.

Oh, wait. Do those even exist anymore?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

Until a few years ago, every $500 Tesla door handle had over a dozen contact switches, motors, microprocessors, and other points of failure, all exposed to moisture and thermal cycling.

Now they just have 2 motors, a couple hall effect sensors, and a microprocessor encased in plastic so they're 10x cheaper to make and don't fail nearly as much, but still cost $500.

[–] DarkFuture 93 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Jesus Fuck.

I had to look it up.

It actually does void the warranty.

So not only are you not allowed to sell them (your own property) within the first year of buying one. But you also can't take it through a carwash?

And you have to pay $80k starting for one?

Man, I already thought the people who owned them were dumb. But holy fuck. Why would you do that to yourself?

[–] FlyingLoon 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Where did you find this? Just curious as I know teslas have an actual “car wash mode” that disables some mirrors and other automatic parts of the car.

[–] DarkFuture 47 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Their own website states that damage from car washes void the warranty and that you must put it in car wash mode. But car wash mode doesn't prevent the damage indicated in OP's post. Also, you're expected to remember to put it in car wash mode instead of just going through the car wash like every other vehicle.

Also, if the damage from OP's pictures is real, what's to stop Tesla from just saying it was caused by taking it through a car wash when it was really just out in the rain or you hand washed it at home?

Bottom line is these things are a liability that aren't worth it unless you're dumb and have funny money to burn.

[–] Tristus 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where do you see that? I only see: Tesla does not recommend taking Cybertruck through an automatic car wash. Warranty should be fine. That said next section says damage through mud voids your warranty which is a very weird thing to say.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Two more paragraphs down

Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage (for example, to the charge port or windshield wipers). Damage caused by car washes is not covered by the warranty.

[–] davidagain 13 points 2 days ago

I suspect that it's specifically the WankPanzer model rather than the regular cars.

[–] [email protected] 147 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"We need to cut costs! Why are we spending extra to drill these stupid holes all over the vehicle?"

"Sir, that's a drain h—"

"Yeah, I don't care what they are, I want them gone, or you're fired."

[–] FinalRemix 31 points 3 days ago

And other such great hits like "why are you using six bolts to hold these together? Can't we do it with two? Do it with two." The man is an imbecile.

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[–] [email protected] 108 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The problem is you aren’t thinking like a billionaire. When your Nazi truck catches on fire when it rains and kills your customer, the company gets to sell a new Nazi truck to your customer’s child. That doubles every sale and potentially triples once the grandchildren are of driving age.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Actual reason Elon Musk pushes for higher birth rates?

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[–] Coreidan 37 points 3 days ago (3 children)

ROFL what brain damaged morons designed this shit?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

Ketamine is a hell of a drug.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Did y’all see the bit about the space x rocket being less effective of the oldest rockets made. Calculation error means it can only take up 400 tons of the 1000 it supposed to. No way to fix it. NASA did it better.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not enough Jpeg ! I can kind of make out part of the image.

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[–] fox2263 57 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What about if it rains. Or like…you clean it yourself??

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 days ago

Owners are expected to lick their cars.
Most do it without knowing it's mandatory.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I love that for every bozo who bought one in Florida now the we're about to enter hurricane season in a few months.

[–] waterSticksToMyBalls 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not a problem! They got rid of NOAA so that means no more hurricane seasons

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I want to scream now that you just reminded me of that. Saw an interview with GOP politician in some red tornado state complain about how they got rid of NOAA and imploring the admin to bring it back because they provide a vital service. Didn't have that on my bingo card.

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[–] untorquer 45 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Is the entire frame just cast aluminum!? It legitimately looks like he had his rocket engineers build this one.

You can't get more disparate inspection/maintenance schedules than aerospace vs. Automotive.

[–] lemming741 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They're all-in on these large monolithic aluminum castings. He has branded it giga casting. I've always assumed it was to make them non-repairable.

[–] untorquer 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Well you can engineer a fatigue life with aluminum so if your goal is to prevent a second hand market and promote car as a service it's one way to go.

E: I'm aware of the software and other subscription stuff they do.

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[–] pi3r8 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I read the biography of him and yes, it's molded in one piece (or was at the time of the book from memory) it was inspired by the bottom of a toy car. The issue of water ingress was apparently brought up but he didn't think it would be an issue.

[–] untorquer 20 points 3 days ago

I doubt there was significant concern for fretting/fatigue here. These frames look like they're almost intended to last only 5yr.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This car is clearly built to be single-use though.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

genius space man! thats a dumb flaw if ive ever seen one. congratulations on the new ford pinto.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)

waterproof enough to serve briefly as a ~~boat~~
bathtub

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[–] Trex202 46 points 3 days ago (12 children)

Hanlon's razor says this is stupidity, but I love the thought of a malicious engineer.

[–] Bytemeister 39 points 3 days ago

I'd like to imagine that an engineer or designer got burned for pointing out issue with the CT, and after that they decided to just "yes man" Elon.

Wanna tow stuff with it, but also have a cast Aluminum frame? Sure thing!

You want capacitive sensors on the exterior of the vehicle? GENIUS!

Reduce weakpoints in the frame by not putting in drain holes? We won't worry about rust because it's made of stainless steel and aluminum? Eureka!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Good for the american criminals, I guess, since the police departments using Teslas might be prone to shorting out on pursuits during heavy rain, I guess.

W Freedom (to commit crimes).

[–] medicsofanarchy 15 points 3 days ago (3 children)

"What are you doing turning into this car wash? The cops are right on our tail! " " Yeah, but the cops are looking for a dirty car, right?" " Boss, you're a genius! "

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

Ah yes, the ol', Pay n' Spray technique. Classic!

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