this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2025
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For me it was the kid next door screaming at her mum. Went soft as a wet noodle.

all 35 comments
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 hours ago

The dog got on the bed and licked my butt. Ruined the evening as we couldn't stop laughing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

GF's mom slamming her car door out front.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 13 hours ago

It would be a lot more troubling if screaming kids didn’t make you soft.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 13 points 18 hours ago

The dog and the cat came in at the mid point and sat down next to the bed and watched us like we were an episode of Wild Animal Kingdom and it was a mating scene, I swear to god the cat looked amused. I could no longer concentrate.

[–] Iheartcheese 77 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The sex question redditors have arrived

[–] [email protected] 6 points 18 hours ago

IMO it's a mixed blessing and curse. A lot of them are uninteresting, but the top comments are usually good for a quick laugh.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (3 children)

bold to call others redditors from a .world account

[–] 50_centavos 1 points 4 hours ago

What's that got to do with it? I was here before your kind

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He’s not insulting them for being redditors.

He’s insulting them for being sex question redditors.

[–] Iheartcheese 4 points 1 day ago

Him, actually

[–] JustAnotherKay 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Hey!

Just cause you're right doesn't mean it's polite lol

[–] 50_centavos 3 points 3 hours ago

Don't encourage him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago

Ahem

"You're not wrong, you're just an asshole."

[–] [email protected] 80 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Tl:dr Discovered I have a phobia for sleight-of-hand magicians and it ruined the most romantic opportunity of my life.

I booked an expensive, bougie hotel room for me and my (at the time) boyfriend, and we were planning on a wild night. He asked me to leave the room for an hour for him to prepare, so I went to the hotel bar for a drink. A guy approached me to bum a cig and began doing random magic tricks - pulling cards out of nowhere, making things appear in my pocket, and making ashes appear in my palm. I'm not sure why, but I absolutely panicked - it felt so violating to think that he was in my pockets and making things happen to my body without my knowledge or consent.

I ended up in a full blown panic attack and rushed back to the room. My partner was fully ready for an amazing romantic encounter, with rose petals and champagne and everything. I ended up just hyperventilating and ranting about scary magicians then fell asleep. I felt so bad that I ruined the night. I still get anxiety when I see magic tricks.

[–] HereIAm 4 points 6 hours ago

Huh. I've never seen much slight of hand magic in person, and until now I wouldn't have thought that would be my reaction. But I can totally see a 1-on-1 close up performance like that feeling very invasive.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago

That’s fascinating. I can totally understand your phobia (not that I feel it but it makes complete sense).

[–] random_character_a 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My 5 year old tapping on the door and asking if he can play too.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 day ago

Oh, no, am I on Reddit again?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

I feel for you. On the same boat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

You poor bastard

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, one of the children woke up.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don’t think that reads the way you think that reads…

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hm ok, English is not my first language but what I meant is that they started making noise in the living room and we had to stop.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago

It reads correctly, unless you have a demented mind.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

Strange drunk man hip-checked his way into my locked apartment. He was on the wrong floor, trying to visit his buddy one above me.

Full, over-the-top drama mode to the apartment managers and they installed a much more secure door and deadbolt. I'd already complained about their doors being basically just thick cardboard, so I wasn't going to pass the opportunity up.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

It wasn't sex, but I was making out with a girl and the TV was on. One of the characters out of nowhere goes "no lightbulbs?! NO LIGHTBULBS!?" and I completely lost it, laughing right in her face practically in tears.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago
[–] Ele7en7 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Gunshots. Hard to stay hard wondering if you're about to acquire some new holes, but I guess it depends on your kinks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

I'd hurry things along instead. If I'm gonna die I at least want to finish first.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago

Fuck that. Warzone roleplay. You're a spec ops soldier and you're partner is that little camping ass mf's parental figure.

[–] Jerb322 9 points 1 day ago

It was the tv at the foot of our bed. Saturday Night Live was on, but the skits were kinda so so. So, the wife and I start getting frisky. A few minutes in and all I heard was "I'm the sexiest girl in the sixth grade...NO NO you can't say that!" The skit was a couple trying to talk dirty, but the woman is saying some messed up stuff. Totally ruined the moment, but turned out to be one of the funniest skits I've seen for a while.

[–] Breezy 1 points 1 day ago

I once had a son when i came to early when my bed riser fell over. The bed completely tilted to one corner and the jolt just did it.

[–] alaphic 1 points 1 day ago

So... Would it have made it better or worse if she was yelling for her dad instead? 🀣