this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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If not, then what about rarely instead of never?

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

But if you sharted it'd be like napalm.

[–] snailwizard 79 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In short, no. To explain: you have a bunch of beneficial bacteria living inside your digestive tract. These little guys help you digest your food, and in return they get a free meal. This basically means that the food you eat ferments into poo. Fermentation always results in gas being released (think how the plastic wrap on a bowl of dough can puff up as it proves.) So to sum it up, unless you drank a strict water-only diet, anything you eat can give you gas. (Even then, you would probably still naturally swallow some air with the water, and some would make it to the other end as a fart.)

[–] Fredselfish 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So we go to no pooping for 3 days to now someone wants to stop farting. What is going on here in lemmy?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] 4am 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That first guy went 3 days and then posted a follow-up looking for constipation relief.

Seems that opened the floodgates. 😏

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[–] yesman 64 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Neat fact: Late in WWII, Germany deployed a rocket fighter. This rocket could climb to 12K in a three minuets. Consequently, the pilots had to eat a special low fiber diet to prevent gas because the change in pressure caused severe intestinal distress.

Of course that was the least of the pilot's problems. The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.

[–] AncillaryJustice 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is precisely the answer I was looking for, though I didn't know it when I asked. Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Are you flying an ME163?

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[–] expatriado 7 points 1 year ago

could climb to 12K in a three minuets

a traditional minuet is ~4 minutes long, assuming meters, that would be roughly 2400 Km/h average speed

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

bro is doing the 3 day no fart challenge 💀

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

why would you want to give up one of life's little joys?

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Take it from me. You don't want to give up farting.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

As someone with crohn's I can confirm. Being bloated and unable to fart is a form of torture.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 12 points 1 year ago

I had my ass surgically removed like 20 years ago. Now I don't fart. Some days you miss it.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s not possible to never fart but you can do things to reduce gas in your intestines. Here is an article about it. Sounds pretty miserable to me.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-farting#elimination-diet

[–] SpaceNoodle 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd rather fart and be happy than smell nice in misery.

[–] ickplant 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If you really wanted the best of both worlds, you could get those underwear inserts that hide the smell.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The strange items humanity comes up with for very specific problems never cease to amaze me

[–] ickplant 7 points 1 year ago

They even have a blanket for similar purposes (fart concealment) and it’s called “the marriage blanket.” Cause farts ruin your marriage, allegedly. Haven’t ruined mine, but what do I know.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 1 year ago (9 children)

There's this mineral you can eat called bismuth subgallate that works as an internal deodorant. It's sold under the brand name devrom. Haven't tried it, but heard good things.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My auntie swore by taking charcoal tablets. We just suspected she'd gone deaf.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Old people don't fart. Instead of a distinct fart event, it's more of a constant, low pressure leak.

[–] markovianparallax 10 points 1 year ago

Stop eating anything with high fructose corn syrup. I promise it works.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If you hold on for a few minutes, it will be absorbed by the colon and go into your bloodstream. Then it will be released into the atmosphere through your skin. Soundlessly and smellessly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Only a certain amount, you can't hold everything in.

Trust me, I tried.

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[–] girltwink 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My gf almost never farts. She's given me a complex about it, i stg. She says she trained herself not to by sheer willpower, and in spite of living together for almost 2 years, I've only caught her like twice.

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[–] rickdgray 6 points 1 year ago

Gut ecology is complex and everyone's is different and it changes over time and with age and when you have to take antibiotics, etc. There's no one sure-fire way to just eliminate it.

[–] twistypencil 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I hardly ever fart, the rest of my family are a veritable natural gas factory. I do not eat sugar, or dairy and an vegetarian. Lots of black beans, not magical fruit for me. I never eat processed foods, and hardly ever eat bread or other gluten... I do have pasta once a week or so

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[–] Valmond 5 points 1 year ago

Cyanid comes to mind.

[–] Arxir 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes. A keto diet (less than 20gr of carbohydrates per day) or a no-carb diet make you rarely if ever fart.

Bacteria in your intestines can break down some carbs releasing methane and hydrogen gas. If there is very little carbs in your diet, then the bacteria in your gut won't produce a lot of gas.

This is a common realization of first-timers of these diets and therefore a frequently asked question on r/keto etc.

Side-note:

Due to the shift in diet, some gut bacteria, that rely heavily on carbs, might die off, which increases gas, but after a couple of days your body adapts to the diet and the flatulence ends.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

To a certain degree, yes; either burp more, or eat food that is easier to digest.

If you're avoiding fast food, pears, beans etc. and you're still coming across this issue, you may want to check with your doctor and see if you have any digestive issues

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