this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] abbotsbury 13 points 11 hours ago

this is literally the plot of Forrest Gump (the book)

[–] JayObey711 10 points 10 hours ago

This is actually true. A former landlord of mine made a fuck ton of money by farming koi fish in the basement of a warehouse.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 12 hours ago

Basement Gump

[–] [email protected] 9 points 12 hours ago

This shrimp fresh?

[–] chonglibloodsport 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

The one thing OP is missing is the type of shrimp. Don’t bother with food shrimp. That’s unprofitable! The real money is in fancy aquarium shrimp like these:

[–] [email protected] 13 points 12 hours ago

I have never wanted an aquarium shrimp before, but I think you just found yourself a customer sir!

[–] [email protected] 53 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Anon gets shut down by the department of agriculture

[–] [email protected] 20 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Didn't Trump axe that one too?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 40 points 16 hours ago

Unironically why small business goons love voting Republican.

You can brew mutant shrimp in a vat in your garage and take them to a wholesaler in a leaky bag labeled "Wild Caught Magic Beans" then sell them at some absurd markup. When half your customer base gets food poisoning, you blame DEI, throw down a smoke bomb, and run off with your profits.

[–] Metz 49 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (2 children)

And then you realize far too late that stuff like this is strictly regulated and you forgot to comply with all the standards for product safety and hygiene and the state is going to rip your ass so far open that a truck can make a u-turn it it.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

not anymore, how long until all that is doged out and we’re back to the jungle

[–] Tyfud 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 16 hours ago

took days for the faa to get fucked

[–] [email protected] 35 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Just do it in a red state and buy favor with the governor.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

That's expensive. My governor is an alfalfa farmer in a desert state where alfalfa is ~1% of GDP and >50% of water use, or something like that. He's already a grifter, so getting my own grift approved is going to be expensive.

[–] chonglibloodsport 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Just gotta cut him in on a share of the profits. He’ll be your best friend in that case!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Peter Thiel's "Zero to One" teaches that the best business is an iron-fisted monopoly.

Far from cutting you in, the governor is more likely to break your kneecaps and burn down your nascent storefront.

[–] chonglibloodsport 5 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Peter Thiel may have been successful in business but he’s no economist. For a government official like the governor, there’s way more wealth to be gained by encouraging competition than suppressing it.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil 18 points 16 hours ago

I bought all the equipment right from a Chinese seller for Tether

Had me right up until the end. Cryptobros literally do not understand how to do normal banking.

[–] Delphia 84 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I know a guy who bought a plot of almost worthless land an hour out of town fenced jt and bought a bunch of goats. We all thought he was insane.

10 years later he is retired at 40 because it turns out that certain communities will pay very good money for organic free range goat.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

There's multiple avenues how you can increase your wealth, if you have investment capital, and nothing goes wrong.

[–] SkyezOpen 15 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, I also know a goat farmer in my neighborhood.
In the same 10 years, she faced an expensive lawsuit from someone who wanted her land, an epidemic that destroyed her herd, animals dying from people feeding them the wrong plants through the fence, Covid forcing her to close the farm to visitors, and other hardships.

She's barely out of the woods now, but definitely much worse off than if she had invested the money into stocks.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 17 hours ago

Yup, stocks are almost zero effort and have an expected return of 10-12% long term. Everything else is a job and is dependent on how good you are at managing it.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 7 points 16 hours ago

If you've got the time and the energy and the stomach to handle birthing and raising live goats, it is very profitable... for the person who got a large low-interest loan to set up the farm. Significantly less so for the people doing the actual agricultural labor.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I tried the same thing with veal farming but little baby cows can't swim so good :|

[–] [email protected] 21 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Give em a few generations, they'll learn.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)

Now I am just imagining someone breeding cows to get some kind of aquatic cow species. Which would also make a great band name.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SkyezOpen 7 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

I wonder how manatee tastes...

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

In America, just buy a load of chickens and do this with eggs.

[–] 2piradians 21 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Silly goose, everyone knows shrimp is much more valuable than eg--

Heavens to betsy, you're right

[–] [email protected] 9 points 17 hours ago (4 children)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil 5 points 16 hours ago

Now I just need to find a pod to live in.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

I've looked into it, unless there's a bird flu epidemic, you're not going to be profitable. It's literally more expensive for me to raise chickens than buy eggs from across the company.

So I guess the solution is to spread bird flu?

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 14 points 17 hours ago

Be a true American and send the other farms infected chicken blankets.

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[–] TootSweet 127 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Shrimp > blockchain. Can't disagree with him there.

For that matter, shit is better than blockchain. Because at least shit is good for manure.

[–] NateNate60 51 points 1 day ago (9 children)

Blockchain is the perfect solution to none of life's problems

[–] [email protected] 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Buying drugs on the dark web

[–] NateNate60 1 points 7 hours ago

Okay, you got me there. I'll admit that's a pretty good use for cryptocurrencies

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] Donkter 88 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Anon discovers basic capitalism and lucked into an underserved market.

[–] Buddahriffic 3 points 9 hours ago

And making the mistake of telling everyone. If everyone gets into it, it will stop being profitable. Though everyone will have cheap shrimp, so it's not a complete loss.

I wonder how much it costs to maintain the farm and if it's worthwhile for small scale production for personal and friends/family.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Anon also doesn't know about all applicable regulations and is yet to be audited by the IRS.
Anon discovered that you can earn money illegally until you're caught.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 17 hours ago

You can also earn money after you're caught, but the protection money will eat most of your profits.

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