this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Depressed? Just seek professional help!

too depressed to schedule an appointment

wait time is months

have to rely on abusive parents' money to fund the treatment costs, because depression is making me unable to work

parents constantly accuse me of faking depression so that I have an "excuse to be lazy"

larents have fear of medications like anti-depressants and don't want me to have them

Me: ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ”ซ (too cowardly to pull the trigger ๐Ÿ˜ญ)

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Don't direct your rage, grief etc. purely inward, dude. Don't let the assholes win.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

This. There are much more deserving targets for hatred. You did nothing to earn it.

[โ€“] perviouslyiner 55 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Visit our office at the top of three flights of stairs to be assessed for disability funds"

[โ€“] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (3 children)

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) was apparently doing this a few years ago. They would book people in for appointments in an upstairs room and put out of order signs on the lifts. Anyone who made it to the room was automatically denied their benefits.

I say apparently because I didn't personally know anyone who went through that one. The office that I had to visit had a car park, but no spaces near the door. I was dropped off by the door while my wife parked the car, but another person drove themselves and walked from the car. Their claim was denied, based on the distance they walked.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

I say apparently because I didnโ€™t personally know anyone who went through that one.

๐Ÿ‘‹

They tried that shit on me my first assessment, the whole "lift hasn't been working properly". I explained that my pain was too much to go up 2 flights of stairs, and eventually they got it "fixed".

They denied me my benefits anyway, it took about 2.5 years, a load of appeals, and a tribunal, the first time before I got what I was entitled to.

They've denied me every re-assessment since, too, which they've given me every 2 years on average, despite my conditions being either from birth or chronic and progressive, and me winning every appeal and tribunal they've put me through, and being in receipt of the highest rates for over a decade now. I'm actually waiting for another re-assessment as I type since my benefit expired again.

Their goal is for us to die, either from our conditions while we wait, or by suicide after being denied or pushed too far by their process (or from the trauma and the feelings of being a useless burden they cause that last long after the assessment is over), either way, the more of us die, the less money they have to spend on us (never mind that disability benefits are an absolutely miniscule fraction of tax spending). So yeah, their MO is to automatically deny all claims. The fact that once appealed, over 70% of decisions are overturned goes to show just how deliberate it is.

I've only got this far because after that first assessment I started looking for help with the appeal because I had to get that benefit to survive, and discovered just how bad the system I'm up against is, but also that there are people out there dedicating their time to helping others get through it. I literally owe those people my life.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

Of course not taking into account that sometimes you can push yourself harder if you really must, but you will pay for it later. Like having to recover in bed for hours or days later.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It's too true. Yet the person who has a spouse (to help them get to the appointment) can lose benefits because of their spouse's income.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 8 hours ago

I am also avoiding marriage because any spouse with a job can make me lose my benefits. The welfare office even made it clear my request for a live-in aide would be denied if I so much as dated the person who was doing the service. They (aka the government) really don't want me (aka poor disabled people) to be in a relationship. What working-class couple can survive with only one income?

[โ€“] RebekahWSD 4 points 10 hours ago

It's why despite being with my husband almost 20 years, we aren't married. He'd lose everything.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

That's the position that I'm in. I get PIP, the non means tested disability allowance, but because my wife works, we're not entitled to anything else.

I can't really complain, as we're doing better than a lot of people, but it doesn't exactly feel great knowing that we don't qualify for any other help.

[โ€“] hushable 37 points 1 day ago

Last time I went to Canada, my roaming wasn't working, so I called customer service from another number and I was told I should call from the phone number having problem instead.

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Don't forget your wallet, none of this is free...

[โ€“] Whats_your_reasoning 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

My friends and I recently took the Cat-Q test, which is a questionnaire used to assess how much one "masks" autistic traits. We took it casually because one friend brought it up, then compared results with each other.

But while filling it out, every one of us had to stop and consult each other because of ambiguous questions. We also found the design of the answers (which are all ranges from "Strongly Disagree" to "Strongly Agree") to be difficult to work with. There's no official explanation to clarify vague statements, and the responses we wanted to give would've varied depending on context. One friend (the one with the most psychology training) said to "fill it out as if we hadn't acquired coping mechanisms yet." Which makes sense, but isn't stated anywhere on the questionnaire.

We're autistic, damn it - the psychologists designing a diagnostic tool for us should know full well that without clear directions, we're going to struggle to fill out this sort of form. I understand it's just a tool, possibly one used during bs insurance situations, and thus is designed to benefit someone besides us. At the same time, there are so many simple ways this questionnaire can be made less stressful for the people who fill it out, that it's almost insulting to keep it as-is.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

I just took that test after reading your post out of curiosity and the questions and following results have made cry.

I fucking hate being autistic sometimes. I'm so fucked.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Honestly, my takeaway from that test, was that that was the point. If you struggle to complete the test, you are on the spectrum, regardless of the actual answers you give.

  • Spoken as someone who struggled with the test only marginally less than his partner, specifically due to masking/coping methods learned growing up with family that don't believe mid-high functioning autism is real (I have a cousin who struggled with speech early on, whose speech therapy consisted of being smacked in the mouth and told to speak properly - damn did that kid learn to mask fast).
[โ€“] Whats_your_reasoning 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

Are we siblings? My parents were the same way (they might still be, but for the sake of my mental health I don't discuss autism with them.) Add in that when a kid shows intelligence in other areas, a lot of people are quick to dismiss the idea that they may struggle with anything. Sure makes it fun when you can't recognize your own speech's tone or volume, and now you're in trouble yet again because obviously you're intentionally being rude.

Sorry, I had to rant for a moment there. My tone still causes me issues (as recently as this week!) despite me putting on the cheeriest mask I can muster. Not sure what else I can do, but after 36 years of trying, it sure would be nice to receive some understanding.

[โ€“] [email protected] 36 points 1 day ago

"Make an appointment to get help for your condition that makes it difficult to keep appointments"

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That reads like someone trying to get an ADHD diagnosis.

[โ€“] shneancy 5 points 1 day ago

:(

yeah been there, well, still am, my doc told me to make an appointment with another doctor to check if i can take stimulants... that was nearly a year ago :) it already took me several years to even try to get a diagnosis

[โ€“] Battle_Masker 9 points 1 day ago

to add insult to injury, the "two hours away" is by car

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fuck this is pretty much applying for SSI in Amerikkka

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

People die while waiting for social security benefits to be approved, it is a feature and not a bug. Fuck this system that says you can't even have $2k worth of combined assets without losing your benefits. Or that half of your spouse's income is "deemed" to you and cuts into your benefits.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Been applying for 13 years so yep absolutely true

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

That is fucked, I'm sorry you are fighting this for so long.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

Just remember that the only people who can fight the best fight for disability equality right now are people who are not disabled.