I want to belive that this is true (and gay)
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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Anon is attending the guys wedding bc theyre the ones getting married.
Directed by JJ Abrams.
Nah... He's marrying the drill sergeant.
It would be great but OP would be from a country that doesnt speak English and the theme song probably wouldn't be English either. I've watched Bob l'éponge and the song is French.
I learned today that Singapore has mandatory military service and a majority English speaking population... So there's a chance
Negligence discharge will make you wish you were dead though
Switzerland has it too, and while English isn't the official language almost everyone speaks it.
Vem bor i en ananas djupt i det blå? Svampbob Fyrkant!
Hij woont in een ananas diep in de zee! Spongebob Squarepants!
Wait, so blåhaj means sea shark? I thought it was blue shark
Blå means Blue and it's kind of a slang word for sea
Reading this I'm pretty sure that's the kind of goofing you end up in at the Swiss army.
Tho having a 300m target distance on your first rifle shooting test seems far to me.
Wer wohnt in ein Ananas ganz tief im Meer? (SpongeBob Schwammkopf)
Russian army is big on spongebob songs.
Idk the Lithuanian one translates to about the same in English and service is mandatory in Lithuania.
Generals totally watch new recruits shoot for the first time.
I mean, occasionally they do. Always popping up where you least expect (or want) them, in my experience.
Would you say that it happens in...
...general?
What happens in the general stays in the general
Aye aye Captain!
not sure, but i know where the general keeps his armies...
It happens in private.
Yeah, had a navy friend who met 2 different admirals during boot camp and 2 more at their first training command. Some times the sharks like to swim in the ponds
I have heard in eastern countries its a bit more common to see them compared to western ones
And completely neglects the chain of command to directly berate a drill sergeant. That's like the CEO of McDonald's going to a franchise to berate the guy making fries.
And the recruits shoot for their first time at 300 meters.
My dad had a similar story. When he got recalled they had to shoot a bunch of nearly depleted ammo for 155 mm arty.
They sit in the field waiting for the command to fire. Guy that has the pull cord had been smoking some weed and was sitting behind the gun drumming.
One of his beats is with the hand in which he has the cord, it was slightly to strong. The gun fires and he gets the recoiling breech block in his face.
My dad jumps on him and keeps his tongue from sliding back in the guys throat. Shouts at the commanding officer to get a medic, finally the guy gets wheeled out by an ambulance. Nothing heard from the guy.
Years later, in a bar he hears some drumming he recognizes. It's the same guy, he got small fracture at the base of his skull and got an army pension for life. Buys the beers for my dad the rest of the evening.
he gets the recoiling breech block in his face
I expected to respond to this with the sad crab meme captioned "this kills the recruit". That guy must have an amazingly thick skull.
He was incredibly relaxed, which might have saved him. You see this with drunk drivers too.
Unless Anon served in the Russian army, accidentally shooting a rock 10m away would be quite a serious safety breach leading to a good amount of investigations.
Anon is on 4chan and mentioned mandatory service...so yeah, probably Russia or a former Soviet state.
That's why anon is going to that guy's wedding next week; both were kicked out of army.
In Russian army, rock shoots you.
In soviet Russia the pension will get you for life... Jokes aside he won't get any pension or medical in russian army, just get sent to Ukraine. Cheaper
I wonder what country this is that has conscription, speaks English and uses meters.
Singapore
It might come as a surprise to you, but quite a lot of people in the world learn English as a second language, and terminally online 4chan anons tend to get quite good at it, so this doesn't narrow it down much.
Yes that's why the drill instructor yells in English too. Come on now friend.
Spongebob gets dubbed in many languages. Makes sense anon would translate it back to English for posting on 4chan.
Hmm, that's a good point.
Alright, which country would you suspect then? Because outside of the US, every other English speaking country uses the metric system (but I'm not sure if any of them still have mandatory conscription).
I think anon just made up a funny story.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it.
Hah, no. I just enjoy finding this sort of mistakes in the stories.
Læffy?