Dank Memes

I love watching videos online of Brits trying food from the southern US because they always recoil at the sight of it before saying it's one of the best things they've ever tasted.

"It looks like a chopped up ferret."

Dafuq gravy did you have with vegetables? It's a heavily peppered bechamel, starting from a sausage fat roux.... and to spite the French a bit more we use black pepper.

Okay… so… dear god please try again? lol.

If you want American biscuits for biscuits and gravy they should be fluffy and almost crumbly. You can just get the non-flaky stuff from pillsberry (theirs are vegan as a plus) in the states.

The gravy needs to have a “sausage” base, if you’re going vegetarian I suggest getting either impossible sausage (the tube not the patties) or field roasts Apple maple sausages (but then you gotta use a fuckload more pepper and more oil). Cool the sausage first, break it up, use its fat (usually also pour in some more oil if you don’t cook with a lot) make a roux (by adding flour to the fat. You can leave the sausage bits in, break up the links/patties if you didn’t use the tube stuff) add more pepper than you think should exist in food, then some oat milk. Let it cook until it re thickens enough to coat a spoon. Salt to taste. Serve on broken up biscuits.

If it’s bland, you need more pepper, or better “sausage” or more of it. If the carb in carb sauce does not leave you in a food coma it was also probably not right.

There are no vegetables in biscuits and gravy.

Vegetable lumps?

Not sure what y'all were having, but it weren't gravy.

It is a little heavy for breakfast for my tastes, yes. But it was originally used by people doing hard farm labor during the day who needed the calories and I do not at all fit that description so I respect the tradition even if I don't follow it.

Vegetable chunks in the gravy seems a little unusual but I totally see it fitting the dish if you don't want to make a separate vegetable side. But here's my little recipe, passed down my family for god knows how long. They didn't give me much, but they gave me this:

1. Take breakfast sausage in ground form. If you only have links and you want to replicate the original tradition, you can remove the casing to get at the sausage inside. Or just cut up the links if you don't want to waste the casing. If you don't have access to breakfast sausage or it's too expensive, this is the approximate spice mix to use in conjunction with ground pork: sage, thyme, rosemary, black pepper, nutmeg, allspice, ginger, red pepper flakes, coriander, garlic powder.
2. Cook breakfast sausage until you have toasty bits on the outside. Coat the sausage with flour, then cook for as long as you can without the flour burning. Then add milk, cook and stir until flour is incorporated with the milk into a sauce. Ratios are very forgiving, traditionally you'd use more milk and flour to get more mileage out of expensive meat.

Biscuits are also hella easy. Break cold butter (or whatever fat source you can afford, but not liquid oils) into chunks, mix into flour. Add buttermilk and baking soda, or milk and baking powder, then bake at 170 C until golden brown. Ratios are very forgiving as well.

I wasn't being sarcastic. I like both poutine and biscuits and gravy, and I'm pretty sure gravy on pudding is good too. They all sound off-putting if you don't know what they are, though.

What does it look like?