this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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all 30 comments
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[–] disguy_ovahea 91 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

…learn…Quagmire…impression…

Got it.

[–] Maalus 36 points 3 weeks ago

He got shit on for being inaccurate, not the sexual stuff. She was a keeper and he fucked up bad on someone who automatically gets a ring. Shame.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Giggity giggity

[–] [email protected] 76 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I remember a girl telling me once of an experience with a guy for whom it was his first time, and to ease his nerves he kept doing family guy quotes and impressions.

Since hearing that story I've never felt inadequate in bed.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

family guy quotes and impressions.

Just so long as he didn't do an impression of Stewie seeing a vagina for the first time...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I have a friend who did this exact same thing his first time. Maybe it's more common than one might think.

By chance, is the girl's name Ivy?

[–] Iheartcheese 5 points 2 weeks ago

He's been boning his way across the country feeding girls this first time story

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

No, I think Sarah. This was in the MySpace days tho

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Look, she still had a good time, all right!?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago

You can tell it's fake because it's a woman voluntarily telling a man what's bothering her.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It annoys me her name isn’t capitalized. I’ve been noticing this problem a lot lately at work too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A lot of languages don't capitalize names, or anything English speakers consider a "proper noun". English may not be their first language or their native tongue.

I think even some English speaking cultures don't capitalize proper nouns.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, I’m referencing documentation I know for a fact is written by native speakers as well as some internal communications.

[–] db2 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You know, you're lucky you're good at 🎺 my 🎺 or I'd never put up with ya. You know what I'm talking about, when you 🎺 lubed-up 🎺 toothpaste in my 🎺 while you 🎺 on a cherry 🎺 Episcopalian 🎺 extension cord 🎺 wetness 🎺 with a parking ticket, that is the best.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] youstolemyname 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Taurus.
You will never find true happiness.
What you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up.
Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.

[–] Carvex 11 points 3 weeks ago

pulling beads on a string off screen

You know what this is...the kids don't know but we do...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

He hehehehehehehe'd when he should have giggity'd.