Remember it was an ancap movie.
this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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The only time Jesus used violence was to kick a rich guy tax collector out of a temple.
Can you point to a reference? I don't think you are recalling the story correctly.
They were money changers (currency exchange) and merchants, not a single tax collector.
Jesus cleansed the temple twice, it wasn't a single event.
Matthew was a tax collector, one of his key disciples. Jesus was also compassionate towards Zaccheus, who was a wealthy tax collector. Zaccheus was wise enough to repent from his over-taxing of citizens, however.
References:
https://www.gotquestions.org/temple-cleanse.html
Zaccheus story - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2019:1-10&version=NIV
I did not realize He did it twice! Did He use a whip both times?
I like to imagine he used an AK47.
The same one he and Santa used to then fight the Romans.
Translation: In this moment I am euphoric ...
The whip is only present in the John account, I think. The Wiki page is a good read: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleansing_of_the_Temple
Depends on the book actually! In the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, Jesus kills a kid for bumping into him and then blinds his parents for being mad. It was considered cannon up till the 4th century.
IV. 1 After that again he went through the village, and a child ran and dashed against his shoulder. And Jesus was provoked and said unto him: Thou shalt not finish thy course (lit. go all thy way). And immediately he fell down and died. But certain when they saw what was done said: Whence was this young child born, for that every word of his is an accomplished work? And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.
V. 1 And Joseph called the young child apart and admonished him, saying: Wherefore doest thou such things, that these suffer and hate us and persecute us? But Jesus said: I know that these thy words are not thine: nevertheless for thy sake I will hold my peace: but they shall bear their punishment. And straightway they that accused him were smitten with blindness.
And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.
Damn, the justice system back then was way more forgiving.
I hate people who translate the bible but use this fucking archaic way of speaking, are we seriously trying to make it as hard to read as possible just because it's old? İmagine if they intentionally used gen z speak with modern literature, fuck you
Here you go, gen z* version:
So, this one time, Jesus was walking through the village again, right? A kid ran up and accidentally bumped into him, like full-on shoulder check. Jesus was not having it and straight-up said, "You’re not gonna make it to wherever you're headed." Boom, the kid dropped dead. People who saw it were like, "Yo, who even is this kid? Everything he says actually happens!"
The dead kid’s parents came for Joseph, all mad, saying, "Bruh, you can’t stay in this village if your kid’s out here cursing people and getting them killed. Like, teach him to chill and bless people or something!"
So Joseph pulled Jesus aside, like, "Hey dude, why are you doing this? People are mad at us, and they’re gonna come for us!" But Jesus was like, "I know you didn’t come up with that yourself, but fine, I’ll let it slide for you. Still, these people? They’re gonna get what’s coming to them." And just like that, the people accusing him went blind.
As a biblical scholar, can confirm that Jesus smote them with blindness so he could remain one of the Village People. /s
Is the "do thou teach him to bless and not to curse" why people do not like swearing (well not sure much about christians but I always got the impression swearing is frowned upon in those communities)
This is not a book in any modern bible, and it’s not something that most Christians have generally read, so probably not. A literal thousand years ago, maybe, but today you would probably only have read it if you’re in academia or have a specific interest in it.
The ban on cursing is from the 10 commandments, basically, "don't take God's name in vain" got expanded to every type of cursing, not just the ones that had God in them.
"We're not trying to help people, Bob. We're trying to help our people!"
All heroes hate insurance men.
" He is getting mugged!
-Well, let's hope we don't cover him."
Unless I'm misremembering, the insurance boss was mentioned as being in hospital and then never again so he could have died from his injuries.
They show him all bandaged and in casts, and then talk about having to pay him off. Yes, he could still have died, but that was not the conclusion they lead you to believe.
Bob Parr not ‘Paar’. Easily mistaken if you’re from Russia or not from a western country.
Um, but, private industry does everything better than the gubment. Right?
/s