this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Did they make a choice though? As in a fully informed, conscious choice unaffected by internal and external pressures?

That's the key to empathizing with addiction.

Most people don't set out to be addicts. They don't set out to OD as the goal of using. It's fair to say that most addicts started out either partying, or self medicating.

The party addicts tend to not realize how damn fast and hard addiction can set in. They know it happens, but it isn't real, it's impersonal and distant, because they also know that people really can just use a few times and not do it again. But each time gets harder, and they start needing it to feel good at all. It isn't done with intent, and they may not even be aware of what they're actually taking. People are stupid. They'll trust someone, and when they get handed a pill or a drink and the person they trust doesn't explain, but they trust them.

And even when it's someone arrogant that thinks they're the exception, that's still a very human thing.

For the ones chasing an escape from ugly reality, a way to feel good, no matter how temporary, sometimes the risk is irrelevant because to them, what they're trying to escape is worse than any of the stories they've heard. Self medicating mental health issues, or physical health issues, or to numb the pain of a life situation they can't escape otherwise, that's as human as it gets.

Empathy. It's also a human thing. We aren't required to feel it for everyone everyone all the time. If you don't feel it, you can't make it magically happen. But we all want it to some degree or another. We all need some degree of human kindness to stay sane in a society that keeps staying ugly over millennia.

So, when we see someone that's in a bad place, it's part of that, that we at least try to find empathy for them, if only on a transactional level where we would wish someone make that effort for us.

It is, however, not equally easy for everyone. The human mind and brain is a diverse thing. Some people are born with brains that simply can't empathize. Others can lose the ability. And there's also people that have trouble doing it without some kind of "trigger" that gives them a connection to the other person in a way they can understand. Some of us over empathize.

But, at the core of it, the reason we are expected to try is that none of us are immune to the ugly parts of life. Every single one of us is one post surgical dose away from feeling withdrawals. Every single one of us is capable of feeling pain so deep we'll do anything up escape it.

If you can't empathize, that's okay. Though going through the effort of rationalizing how others empathize would help you out a lot when dealing with others. If you make the effort to figure out how the same thing could happen to you, even if you don't feel sorry for the person, you'll have fulfilled your part of the social contract as regards the idea of "there but for the grace of the flying spaghetti monster go I", or "judge not lest ye be judged", or any other saying that boils down to recognizing that we're all just flawed beings doing the best we can with what we've got.

[–] clockwork_octopus 7 points 4 weeks ago

Damn, I wish I could upvote this more than once.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Addiction is an illness. Some people don't choose to be drug addicts, and it's incredibly difficult to stop once you're hooked.

Not everyone addicted to drugs chose to do them in the first place. Parents shoot up their kids, and abusive partners shoot up their abusee.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

The second part of your statement is pretty weak, those are very rare situations.

Far more useful to point out that a lot of people do it out of despair, peer pressure, or even just for fun while already intoxicated. Someone who's massively depressed, being pressured by "friends", or trying opioids for the first time at a party while already drunk are not in their right mind in terms of making an informed decision.

However, the first part is spot on.

We don't usually blame people who become addicted to things, because it often isn't as intentional as the OP is making it out to be in their question.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago

It's not as rare as you think it is. My SO worked in addiction counseling, and it wasn't rate by any means.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

In the US, doctors were prescribing opioids for pain medication for decades, ignoring the addictiveness and decreased effectiveness over time.

So someone who went in for surgery or had an injury could end up hooked on their pain meds… except the meds would become less and less effective over time, requiring larger and larger doses. Until the dose passed the “legal” threshold, at which point these people switched to illegal suppliers to survive. And eventually the doses got to be so large that their bodies couldn’t handle it, and they died.

And then there’s people who got hooked on methamphetamines because they were a cheap but effective way to stay up all night and study for an exam when they were a teenager— and eventually they couldn’t function without them.

And that’s just two common examples from two drug families, ignoring things like e-cigs (person gets hooked on something they didn’t even know they were consuming), regular cigarettes, or alcohol, all of which are legal but can also be addictive and deadly.

And… that ignores the obvious: it’s possible to feel sorrow for someone’s situation without affirming their life choices.

[–] TheRealKuni 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

And then there’s people who got hooked on methamphetamines because they were a cheap but effective way to stay up all night and study for an exam when they were a teenager

*amphetamines.

I don’t think Desoxyn, the prescription version of methamphetamine, is particularly popular.

But Adderall is just straight up amphetamine.

(Not to be the umm ackchyually guy.)

For what it’s worth, Adderall is unlikely to lead to addiction when used as prescribed by people who actually need it. So don’t worry if you’re an ADHD patient who takes it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks, that's a pet peeve of mine. "Methamphetamines" oh so there was more than one? Ugh

[–] EndlessApollo 17 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Here's a better question: why don't you try having literally even one ounce of empathy for others?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 weeks ago

Why should I feel sorry for you and answer your question?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 weeks ago

There's a million layers of nuance to every situation.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

You're asking why you are "expected" to have human empathy? I can't answer that, but I can tell you that you are personally better off accepting and processing other people's emotions and experiences, than you are refusing to do so. You are better off with compassion and allowing yourself to feel pain than you are closing off your heart and feeling nothing; doing the latter maims you and your capacity to feel.

[–] Don_Dickle -3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I do have compassion for people who die of diseases or mental illnesses and stuff. But drug use I really don't have sympathy for.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Okay, that's not really compassion. People don't need to deserve or earn compassion. Having compassion for someone doesn't mean that you approve of their actions. I don't think you actually understand what is being said. Your response didn't really engage with anything I actually said; you're just restating your same initial feelings, as though trying not to acknowledge what you were responding to. This is exactly the failure to process that I was alluding to. You just turn off part of your brain when it's desirable not to understand something.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Where do you draw the line between mental illness and substance abuse disorder? Are you aware that the latter is considered by pretty much everyone on the planet, to be included in the former?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

You have 600 or so posts since you joined on July 17, 2024. This comes to 4-5 posts per day, and I assume you spend time engaging with the comments as well. If you wanted to stop posting here today, could you keep it up? Do you feel more satisfied while you engage with the community?

Now imagine these feelings times 1000, maybe even more. Your boredom cannot be satiated by posting if you decide to stop your addiction, and maybe you may even think "just one more time, it wont hurt"

This is what drugs are like, usually just one more time does not kill but they cannot make reasonable decisions due to the addiction anyways.

People who start using drugs because of mental illnesses can overdose too, and this will not be known because "it was just another overdose". In this case dont you agree that the mental illness was the thing that killed them and they would not start using drugs if the healthcare system did not fail them? Do you think they deserve empathy or not?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's often not so simple as a person making a choice and knowing the outcome. There are often many tragic factors that contribute to the situation that resulted in the overdose. One common situation is someone is injured and prescribed opioids by their doctor, perhaps having been influenced by drug companies like Purdue pharma. As they take it they become addicted, eventually the doctor cuts them off and they go to other doctors, then they may find it easier to buy from a dealer, then they may find it more affordable to buy fentanyl, and then maybe they take too much or get a bad batch and od.

They didn't start taking drugs knowing it was going to be a bad path, they started because their doctor prescribed it and by the time they figured out they were addicted they were no longer in control and may not have had the resources to get out. It's often not just a question of willpower but one of support and resources to help you up.

There are many other scenarios, but it's rarely a simple result of a few conscious choices and almost always a result of people suffering in bad situations and it's ok to feel compassion and empathy even if they weren't completely innocent in it all.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

No? This is a confusing question. Do you think they're just committing suicide? Cuz most people that OD aren't doing it intentionally. And even then.. do you not feel bad for people that kill themselves?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago

No, not everyone knows. Sometimes people are hooked on something they did not know they were taking. One of my daughter’s friends in high school was given a joint laced with fentanyl, and it killed him. I had a friend who got addicted to meth in a similar fashion.

[–] Sanctus 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Its called empathy, it helps us care about the wellbeing of others. Its more of an illness than a choice, I'm addicted to Nicotine in the same way that someone else is addicted to cocaine. And tbh, you are allowed to feel bad for people even when it was their own choice that got them into their situation. Why do we have to remove our empathy when someone makes a conscious choice? Even a bad one? (I'm not talking about extremes like murder with this question)

[–] Rhynoplaz 11 points 4 weeks ago

Essentially, you're saying "Why feel sorry for people who died in car accidents? Didn't they make the choice knowing the outcome?"

Yes, yes, people don't choose to get in a car accident, but people don't choose to overdose either. People choose to drive from point A to point B, and everyday people die doing exactly that. Statistically, it might be safer to do drugs than get your driver's license.

The only difference is how much you can relate with the people. If you can't see yourself in them, it's not nearly as tragic.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Basic empathy idk?

I will still feel bad for someone dying if their errors lead to their death…

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Illicit substances can make people act irrationally, and many drug addicts were pressured into an addiction starting from a young age, when they were more impressionable. Peer pressure is terrible and can negatively affect a person in a variety of different ways. The problem with an addiction is that once your body becomes accustomed to the substance, it can be very difficult to stop because of psychological and physiological symptoms pertaining to withdrawal.

Over time, they require higher and higher doses and unfortunately many of them do end up inadvertently overdosing. I have compassion for these people because they are the victims of peer pressure, abuse, stress, and addiction. It is a tragedy. I think that a lot more could be done to help them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Not that this is a great argument or anything, but growing up I thought I wouldn’t possibly start using drugs (including nicotine) and alcohol so I tuned out for all the “drugs are bad” lectures.

When I was a young adult I got into drugs and had a lot of fun. A decade later I’m lame as hell and don’t party, don’t do drugs.

What I’m trying to say is that even despite good education it’s still easy to get into drugs. For many people they never give them up (because hello — they’re addictive). I’m lucky that I moved on and made something out of my life, but that’s not the story for everyone.

[–] andrewta 5 points 4 weeks ago

So you are saying a person can't possibly get addicted to legal drugs then when those drugs are cut off they can't possibly turn to illegal drugs?

You are saying that a person can't get addicted to drugs for other reasons? Ex: mental health issues that aren't being fixed?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

Overdosing can be a suicide attempt. Sometimes however, the product is stronger than expected or takes longer than expected to have an effect and that causes accidental overdose.

In both cases mentally healthy people feel sorry for the person, because they were either in a tough spot and saw suicide as the only solution or they tried to feel good and had an accident instead. Some mentally healthy people supress their sadness though, which is a coping mechanism to not be overwhelmed by sorrow. They still feel it a bit, but focus on distractions etc.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

There is an emerging field of research that reframes addiction as a reasonable reaction to traumatic conditions. This doesn't explain all addiction, but it seems to explain a large amount of it. We are learning how complex a condition addiction can be and that makes it easier to feel compassion for these folks.