Can god sling a dick so big even he can't rub one out?
this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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I thought that's where the biblically accurate angels come into play?
Couple of fun facts about this :
so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ' I am ' technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that's up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. [...] Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Oh did they find his body?
Wouldn't it be more reasonable to conclude that the probability of Jesus being biologically male equals the human average of males being biologically male? Ie 99.5%.
Couldn't his radical compassion for outcasts and the downtrodden be related to personal struggles growing up with gender dysphoria?
If you believe he was conceived in a virgin, wouldn't it be MORE likely that he had XX chromosomes?
We are discussing biological sex as in the parts we are not discussing gender.
Yeah, and I'm positing that the probability he did not have a penis is at least 0.5%.
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My personal head canon is that Jesus was a transgender man (no Y chromosome). The “this is my Son, in whom I am well pleased” marks when God finally accepts his Son’s gender identity, and lets him start his ministry (and hooks him up with HRT).
He could still be intersex AFAB. PCOS/CAH are both extremely common and you can end up with a clitoris that looks pretty close to a peen0r. Admittedly, that doesn’t make the circumscision part that much better - but well realistic, it’s gotta have happened at some point.
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*Hits the Blessed Waterpipe of Panaji*
Under Trinitarianism, God would be a they/them, because they're literally several people.
According to the common understanding of the doctrine of virgin birth, Mary got impregnated through the Holy Spirit rather than The Father rawdogging her. This suggests that the Holy Spirit is a dick and thus probably male.
The Father is, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, not a man or a woman. That being said, neither Hebrew nor Aramaic nor Koine Greek have gender-neutral pronouns (except perhaps calling The Father "it" in Koine Greek, which would be hilarious but sadly would not be approved of by a killjoy like Paul).
I think this is very relevant to this discussion https://youtu.be/qUb0JnEsOHQ
I was thinking of the exact same video.
...i like the way you think
"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. 'You believe in God?'
'No.'
BANG Dead.
'You believe in God?'
'Yes.'
'You believe in my God?'
'No.'
BANG Dead.
'My God has a bigger dick than your God!'"
-George Carlin
It's not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn't entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It's a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected
Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that christ is purely divine and not human
In Exodus, Moses asked to see God's face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his "back" instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).
The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that's ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as "butt." Now why would God need a butt?
This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.
Imagine going into a cave to see God and it's just him bent over showing hole
Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.
Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn't consume anything he didn't need.
Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God's will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.
Well God, that's pretty sexist. You don't need a penis to pee.
Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn't have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.
Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing "The Father".
Chalcedonian Christianity is also Nicene, i.e., Trinitarian: one being in three cosubstantial persons. They share the divine cock and balls, one would say.
Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.
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This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.
More gods == more rational