this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
723 points (99.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] StrongHorseWeakNeigh 155 points 2 months ago

That robber said, "Actually, I don't want that smoke." And left very promptly.

[–] slaacaa 112 points 2 months ago

“Uhm. Meow?”

[–] Godric 91 points 2 months ago

Every time I read this it about has me crying laughing, it's perfect

[–] Kyrgizion 71 points 2 months ago

Based and dominance established. Carry on.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I don't get it. How did the cat know how to open the door?

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How would a cat even know what a knitting needle was? Yarn is not for knitting in their world.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Maybe it was a knittycat? This post raises a lot of questions.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's the thing they need to remove from the ball of yarn to use it as intended, otherwise it just doesn't roll right.

[–] Reddfugee42 3 points 2 months ago

Evolution, duh

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] unreachable 71 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] NegativeInf 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You've not heard of the bearded lady?

[–] NegativeInf 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh, I have. I was just posting the gif of the rest of that video because the entire thing makes me die laughing every time. The tone of that old man's voice as he questions all of reality is truly something.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I have not heard of anything you two funny kids are talking about.

… source?

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Well now I just have more questions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It's a clip from a mcjuggernuggets video lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It’s funny. I like it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Google daddy chill vine know your meme

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I spent some cool years on the internet being uncool, thinking I was too cool for internet shit.

(I mean, I was also deeply depressed, heavily traumatized, and unable to function beyond work and escapism for basically the entire period Vine existed.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I'm gonna screenshot this nonsense and send it to the White House in 60s at the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

They'd nuke Earth instantly, get Fallout IRL going.

[–] Iheartcheese 12 points 2 months ago