this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
1015 points (98.8% liked)

Microblog Memes

6021 readers
4531 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tattletaletimes 146 points 4 months ago (4 children)

In highschool I worked at a pharmacy. 30-something man looks lost so I ask him if I can help him find something. He says diapers and I assume he's a father so I stupidly say "the adult ones are right down there but you don't need those ha ha, the baby diapers are down aisle 1"

You can guess the rest of the story...

[–] RestrictedAccount 71 points 4 months ago (7 children)

There is a funny columnist named Dave Barry who has a list of the things I took him 50 years to learn.

One is that, unless you see the baby crowning, never mention that a woman may be pregnant.

I think this falls into a similar category.

[–] tattletaletimes 33 points 4 months ago

I 100% agree so it makes this story even better.

A friend and his wife were at a social event and his wife was very early in pregnancy, they had only told their parents at this point. A 70-something year old man in a suit walks up to them out of the blue and says congratulations. They are taken aback because they didn't even consider him referring to the pregnancy. He goes on to say he is a retired obstetrician and because of years of experience can just tell.

Ballsy move by the doc but he sure did know his stuff.

[–] criss_cross 5 points 4 months ago

I love me some Dave Barry. Don't follow the Herald but his books were great.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] kiwifoxtrot 29 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Could have simply been looking after an elderly parent.

[–] jaybone 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That or recovering from a surgery.

There’s plenty of reasons someone might need adult diapers without being old. Not that it’s any less embarrassing for some people either way.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tattletaletimes 12 points 4 months ago

He was very embarrassed but it very well could have not been for him personally. Either way it was a dumbass thing to say!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Actually I can't figure it out. Would you please finish your story?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The customer needed the adult diapers.

Not the OP, but I've been that person before. I'll leave it up to your imagination what position I was in.

I'll admit I am somewhat curious how it all played out though.

[–] peopleproblems 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

You're not wrong

[–] tattletaletimes 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He was very embarrassed and went for the adult diapers. My 17 year old gangly, awkward self didn't help the situation at all either.

[–] Volkditty 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I imagine you, still not getting it, yelling "Sir, sir! I said those were the adult diapers! Sir!"

[–] tattletaletimes 7 points 4 months ago

Thank god I wasn't that dumb, I would have died from embarrassment

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Once I had food poisoning so bad that my spouse got adult diapers for me, so I could try to sleep. In sickness and in health!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 88 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The way out is easy: "oh god, sorry to hear it, I'd rather have the person too". I don't think I'm a social genius.

[–] xantoxis 43 points 4 months ago

I also choose this lady's dead husband.

[–] cybersandwich 9 points 4 months ago

Yea for real. They know you didn't know that. Just be empathetic.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 4 months ago

And then a very charismatic person behind her asks "How much do you want the person", while twirling their mustache.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Are there not standard questions the teller is supposed to ask when they're handed a check this large?

[–] [email protected] 111 points 4 months ago (1 children)
  • How bloody is this money?
  • Are you single?
[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 months ago (2 children)
  • Need help burying the body?
[–] jaybone 20 points 4 months ago

In OP’s case, that would be even worse.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Where do you live?

(assuming the bank teller don't have access to that information already)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

My dumb ass thought you were actually asking me for a second

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No really, where do you live?

[–] jaybone 6 points 4 months ago

How you doin?

[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes you trip into other people's bad days. OP didn't say anything wrong.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

IIRC bank tellers are supposed to talk about stuff like this to help catch fraud and extortion. If she sees a huge sum of money, it's her job to strike up conversation about it.

[–] cm0002 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

WHY DID YOU REDEEM ITTTT!!! MAAAAM!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Buddahriffic 4 points 4 months ago

"Oh wow, the crime must be going really well, eh?"

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Me, had I been the teller...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Do it a different way or there won't be a cheque dude

[–] ivanafterall 43 points 4 months ago

"For what it's worth, they probably weren't all that great."

Problem fixed.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Better than saying, "I'd kill for one of these."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

"I'll kill again for one of these"

[–] GraniteM 41 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

A while back I broke up after a long term committed relationship, and part of the process involved splitting our finances. I went to the bank to close our account, and it being around November, the teller innocently asked, "Do you have any plans for the holidays?"

I deadpan replied, "Well, I'm closing out a joint checking account, so what do you think?"

The teller: O___O "I am so sorry!"

Fortunately I was able to laugh about it and tell them it was okay.

Joke's on them, though, because I wound up getting blackout drunk on Johnny Walker Black with a real beard mall Santa that Christmas and saying things about my ex that I should not have said.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Black Label is the best thing to blackout from.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I want to know more about your time with Santa. That night sounds epic tbh

[–] GraniteM 5 points 4 months ago

Summed up very briefly:

[–] ameancow 23 points 4 months ago

This is why when you work in customer-facing positions in any capacity, you NEVER comment on their purchases, their choices, their business, what they are buying, if you've seen them before, etc. Just mouth-shut, smile and get them through.

[–] jacktherippah 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I also choose your dead person.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

"I'm a person. Wanna trade?"

load more comments
view more: next ›