this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
509 points (99.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

19813 readers
144 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

My sister started a new position that involves HTML. She tried to explain an issue to me, but I'm not a web guy. I told her to send it to me on Monday and she sent this...

all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 94 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Oh, that's an excellent way to start if you're building a database in CSS.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago (2 children)

https://css-tricks.com/css-database-queries/

  1. Use a hand-modified-to-ESM version of SQL.js, which is SQLite in JavaScript.
  2. Get a database ready that SQL.js can query.
  3. Build a Houdini PaintWorklet that executes queries in JavaScript and paints the results back to the screen in that -y way that PaintWorklets do.
  4. Pass the query you want to run into the worklet by way of a CSS custom property.
[–] [email protected] 61 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)
  1. Go straight to jail.

Edit: No idea what's up with the formatting. In my app this shows as step 5 but it seems to render as step 1. Is the Lemmy DB done in CSS?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago

Lemmy is fine, it depends on the markdown parser/renderer. Markdown allows you to use any numbers for numbered lists and the renderer is supposed to display them corrected.

As you can imagine that leaves a lot of ambiguity

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

For me it shows as step 5, in Firefox on Android using web browser interface. Also I can view your source which shows as simply "5. Go...", so it is definitely your app.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Weird! Thanks for letting me know. I guess that's what I get for using an app (Sync) that the developer abandons for months at a time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Problem in this case is the specification is vague on what the 'correct' thing to display is.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

It's not the best UI, but you can also view your comment from a standard web browser, just to see how it looks. The advantage to the web browser is that it is always by definition maximally up-to-date:-) - though its baseline functionality may still be lower than an app if the latter is done well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Put a slash before the dot, like 5\.:

5. Go straight to jail.

This is a Markdown issue really. Starting a line with a number and then a dot turns that line into an item in an ordered list. The most common behaviour (that I've seen) is to start that list from 1, regardless of what number is used. The intent is to make it easy to add items later without renumbering everything, for living documents at least.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

oh fuck off with this bullshit

[–] Diplomjodler3 23 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What colour do you want your database to be?

[–] Whelks_chance 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's fine as long as you don't need it to be centered.

[–] Opisek 3 points 5 months ago

Vertically AND horizontally, please.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

"And do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?"

[–] [email protected] 50 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Now I want to know what the issue was.

And the “solution”.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I have used Excel to make tags from a table before. Usually just for one off stuff and before I was very familiar with JavaScript.

E.g. if you have a table of 100 urls you could use excel to easily turn them into a tags using the various text formulas like concat.

It's probably never the best tool for the job but sometimes I'll do stuff in Excel just because I'm very familiar with it.

To clarify I am not a programmer by trade lol

[–] computergeek125 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I saw a meme somewhere along the line that Excel is the third best tool for every job.

[–] thevoidzero 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You know how people say "Devil you know is better than God you don't"?

Excel is that Devil people know. It's not the best tool for a lot of stuffs but it let's people do things.

I saw a co-worker generate sequence for formula in excel for another cell in excel. They wanted to do average of all January data, instead of averageif/sumif/countif etc, they generated a sequence a1+a13+a25...... And used excels' drag down thing to make the formula. I'm like who could even verify it.

[–] computergeek125 1 points 5 months ago

Oh for sure

[–] AProfessional 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

FWIW many modern text editors just let you modify multiple lines at once.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I like Sublime Text for this.

Watching supposedly technical people use Excel to mangle batch SQL statements together makes me cry.

[–] jaybone 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I’m having a hard time imagining what this could even possibly be about.

[–] HowManyNimons 3 points 5 months ago

Sounds like the boss wanted a grid layout of some kind. Honestly, if they can express themselves in Excel, and they can be made to understand the limitations of responsive Web design, then it's not so bad. At least it's a requirement and you don't have to guess.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The double-space between "Excel" and "of" is what hurts me. Such a boss thing to do.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Everyone knows you should only have a double space after a full stop, so your computer knows it's the end of a sentence.

[–] TeenieBopper 1 points 5 months ago

Someone eventually is going to come in here and say that no, because of modern typeface on computers the convention is a single space after a period and to that person I say this:

Go fuck yourself.

[–] BluesF 18 points 5 months ago

Ah, good ol' TEXTJOIN. I've used excel to write M before when I couldn't figure out a way to do something concisely but I also couldn't be bothered to write it out by hand. In hindsight, I was a shit programmer, but I'm at least good enough now that I can see how shit I was then!

[–] umbraroze 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Flashback to my first job. Coworker designed a giant complex web app with bazillion UI messages. Another coworker (in the Management) sent me the UI messages. As an Excel file.

I was tasked to manually convert the messages to a PHP data structure of some description (because this was 2002 and Excel files didn't exactly lend themselves to scripting in Linux). Surprisingly, the management person did acknowledge my complaint that the conversion process was far more painful than necessary. Not that this helped, because soon after the startup got acquired and as far as I know the tech currently only exists in conceptual level in some big corporate vault or other.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Save as csv and then import?

[–] umbraroze 9 points 5 months ago

This was so long ago that I can't actually remember the actual reason why things had to be done by hand. Part of it may have been a conversion snag, but there were probably some other reasons why it wasn't as simple as writing a script to do the job. Because I distinctly remember I wrote some scripts to help with other data conversion jobs.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

l often get sent a long list of info/ criteria in excel. It's often easiest (and traceable / maintainable back to their request) just to stay in the excel to generate large chunks of the SQL

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I've build entire databases/management tools out of Excel with following of administrative file completion, warning of due payment and KPIs. It was a pain to build but it kinda worked. Then I learn to build actual relational database and I went on rebuilding them on PostgreSQL... as a back, using Acess as front that would allow Excel-like usage and Excel export of the request response.
We can say what we want about Excel but it is working really well and people are already formed to use it or at least they are enough familiar with it so they are not nearly as frighten by the idea of learning Excel as they are to learn to read a single-table SELECT SQL statement.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)