this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023
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You Should Know

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YSK - for all the things that can make your life easier!

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YSK: Just because something is easy for you, does not mean that it is easy.

ETA; Why you should know; everyone has natural talents, everyone has skills they developed with practice or over time. Something that feels easy to you might be difficult for someone else to grasp, or they might have a different background or a different way of doing things. When you show someone else how to do something, or when you ask someone else to do something, you need to set aside your expectations on how they might do that thing, or how quickly, or how well.

Be patient. Understand not everyone comes naturally to every new skill or new talent. Some people have learning disabilities or just a lack of familiarity with skills you consider "basic." And try not to belittle someone for needing extra time to master something you find "simple" or they may never try again!

Edit2: Kind of like how I can't figure out how to edit this to save my life. I've been belittled in the past for being bad at things so my instinct was to delete this, but seeing all the conversation, I couldn't bring myself to do it! Consider me a lesson in action!

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[–] ttmrichter 99 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What you say: It's easy!

What you (hopefully) mean: Don't be intimidated! You can do it!

What they hear: You must be stupid if you can't do this.


What you say: It's so simple even a child can figure it out!

What you (hopefully) mean: Calm down and work through it. You've got this.

What they hear: Even a child is smarter than you!


Keep in mind that if you're dealing with someone who is struggling it is self-evidently not easy for them. Claiming that it is invalidates their experience and makes them feel small and stupid. Don't do that.

What you should say: I get it. This can be pretty intimidating. Let's work through this together.

It really is that simple.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I build cloud IT infrastructure for a living and I’ve been at it for several years. There’s a lot to it, but I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve developed a reputation for being a person who knows how it works and can figure out how to build effectively in it. I won’t call it easy, but I’ve become comfortable and adept with it, and so to some it appears to be easy for me.

Just recently we had a person join our team with a background almost exclusively in OS administration. He’s doing alright for someone who is just starting out, but it’s obvious he’s intimidated and so he asks a lot of questions.

I told him this.

It’s perfectly okay to feel like you’re in over your head on all of this. There is a lot to learn. Besides server administration, you have to understand networking, permissions management, software development to a degree, database management and a ton more.

There’s a plethora of services at your disposal. Much like a giant toolbox, your job is to understand when to pull out the right tool, as well as how to use said tool effectively. This is going to take time, and you’re only going to truly learn it by doing it. Take time and ask questions, and you’ll get the hang of it. When I started, I was in the same boat.

I think that’s made him feel better about his inexperience, and I’ve seen him progressing at an admirable pace.

[–] Shardikprime 5 points 1 year ago

Holy shit yes to all this. Building architectures is intimidating as fuck but doesn't mean you have to know everything/can't ask for help and it definitely doesn't mean you can't have fun learning during the implementation/discovery phases

[–] Infernal_pizza 5 points 1 year ago

You sound like a great person to work with!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

What I have learned to say is "I understand this is new and confusing; however, don't stress out, I was probably more confused than you are when I first learned this." It throws them off a bit, because they think you're the expert, and it clicks that you had to learn it too. If they probe deeper into why it was hard for me, I explain that I'm so used to how things are supposed to work, I have to step back and see how things can work.

[–] mattclassic 9 points 1 year ago

Expertly said. Especially true for kids

[–] WhiteTiger 66 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is a good thought but a bad post for YSK

[–] Noxvento 79 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's easy for you to post in the correct community, but not for OP.

[–] Shardikprime 5 points 1 year ago

It really is THAT simple

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@flicker Alternatively, just because something is easy for you, does not mean you enjoy doing it. Always sucks when your boss discovers a new useful skill you have, lmao

[–] Moreless 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If you don't use those skills regularly you might lose them or fall behind on new trends. Chaining those skills together can lead to other future opportunities.

I think the idea is to take on those new responsibilities for awhile to learn the ins/outs then bounce to a new job after a year or two

[–] FriedTaho 25 points 1 year ago

My mom sat me down to remind me of this, since I'm starting to get more responsibilities in my first job. She learned it through years of being in management positions and taking higher level classes for human management.

And y'all are getting this lesson for free on lemmy. This is why I love people and the internet.

[–] BilboBargains 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had a professor who used to show us something and then remark that it was easy. I'm sure they meant well but it made me feel bad when I struggled.

We have expectations of people that are unrealistic. I think kids today are challenging these expectations and nowhere is that more evident than the debate over gender stereotypes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One of the rules of thumb when teaching is to avoid saying something is "difficult" or "easy" most of the time. Usually there is not much benefit to the students in it, and other adjectives or descriptions would better capture the message without leading to discouragement.

[–] BilboBargains 4 points 1 year ago

It's a source of amusement to see something referred to as 'trivial' in academic literature because it's usually something fairly inscrutable. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we're in a position of ignorance with respect to most topics and that's okay.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

See also: survivorship bias.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

"Everything looks easy after you've learnt how to do it" this is what I always say to the kids I help doing their homeworks.

[–] zikk_transport2 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's easy for me to get addicted to nicotine. I guess it's just me lol.

[–] Rhynoplaz 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm so jealous. It took me years to get addicted. How do you do it?

[–] zikk_transport2 3 points 1 year ago

Oh man, you wouldn't believe me - just inhale it lol.

[–] another_kbin_addict 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] zikk_transport2 1 points 1 year ago
[–] another_kbin_addict 10 points 1 year ago

Reminded me of this article on the old CSS-Tricks website. Particularly the heading “words to avoid” (linked)

https://css-tricks.com/advice-for-technical-writing/#aa-there-are-lots-of-words-to-avoid

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I'm glad you point that out. I frequently have to catch myself accidentally exchanging the word quick for easy. They're not interchangeable, and in the wrong context, can be insulting.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  • Muscle memory (for activity)
  • Scaffolding (in education)
  • Ableist (on disabilities)
  • Affordances (in design)
  • General education (in developed countries)
  • Digital divide (in tech and education)
  • Training (in professions)
  • Grooming (in professions and wealth)
  • Experience (broad context)
  • Immersion (in cultures)
  • Privilege (on racial divides)
  • Access (in wealth and nation)
  • Infrastructure (in development)
  • Coaching (in skills)
  • Membership (in location and groups)
  • Nepotism (in opportunities)
  • Beauty standards (in cultural opportunities) ...
[–] neonfire 6 points 1 year ago

You should know more things so other things come more easily to you as they do me, because I am really smart.

[–] theherk 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Additionally, just because something hard for you looks like it comes easily to another, it probably doesn’t. They’re just working harder.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don't agree with this. People have different abilities/talents that mean that certain things are in fact easier for some than for others. By thinking that everything is just hard work, people may work themselves to death trying to achieve proficiency in an area that they just aren't particularly suited for.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There are some strange cases where innate abilities matter a lot. For example, some people have the supernatural ability quit smoking cold turkey, and it seems to be nothing more than a decision for them. However, mere mortals tend to struggle with it for years.

In many other cases though, time, effort and experience matter more than your abilities.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm not sure I'm convinced there truly are that many skills an average person can't gain proficiency in with a reasonable amount of time and effort. Sure, some people are more adept at things than others and maybe you'll never gain a level of proficiency in music to become a professional musician, but given a little dedication most everyone can learn to play an instrument.

I think because often all we see is the output, it's easy to discount the time and effort someone put in to get there. I once had a yoga teacher tell me I was so lucky to be "naturally flexible" because I had no idea how much some people struggled with it. Meanwhile, as a dancer, I had been stretching 5x/week for like 10 years to get to that point and was very inflexible before that and only moderately flexible when the comment was made haha.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I like this. Drawing/Art is something I have tried to do forever. I simply do not have the talent. Unless stick people count!!!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd say they have been doing it longer or are familiar with the underlying knowledgebase, so it seems to come easily to them.

Someone who has never used a modern computer before will think that someone who has been learning and adapting since Windows 3.1 would look like a genius. Even if all they know is how to do basic tasks and navigation.

[–] theherk 5 points 1 year ago

Agreed. I should have been more clear. They’ve put in more effort. Either by working harder (short time) or working more over a long period. I just see a lot of people think things comes naturally to others, but not really. One may have a proclivity for something, but it still takes time to cultivate a skill.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I dunno about that. I was a total fuck up in school and got good grades.

I’ve seen it my whole life in various ways. Some people just have it easier than others with some things. Some people are “luckier” than others.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eh idk, my sister worked a lot harder in maths than I did (I barely did anything) however she still struggled to get good at it. How much effort you put in doesn't correlation that well with how good you get.

Plus idk I don't like the implication that bc you are not succeeding you are not working hard enough.

[–] theherk 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah it cuts both ways though. First I am generalizing. Some indeed have proclivities, but I’m saying you shouldn’t just assume it is easy for them. A lot of improvement is based on effort. Not all, but it is similarly frustrating to have people diminish successes as luck or “talent”.

[–] GustavoM 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

...unless its something really basic like washing your dishes or tying a rope.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I have pretty severe ADHD, and some days, washing dishes is very difficult for me.

[–] Crackhappy 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Despite all the other comments, you are skating on the edge of life in general.

[–] Shardikprime 3 points 1 year ago

Push it to the limits

[–] 6mementomori 0 points 1 year ago

i tend to do that mistake unfortunately

[–] FederatedSaint -4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yes it does, because "easy" is a relative term, meaning if something is easy for me, it is indeed easy.

It would be more accurate to say, "Just because something is easy for you, does not mean that it is easy for others."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Disagree. When someone says "this is easy", it is implied he thinks it will be easy in general, for everybody. Not 'easy if you've practiced a lot' or 'easy if you're extremely fit' or 'easy if you're smart'.

[–] metallic_substance 0 points 1 year ago

That's exactly the point...

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