this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] Rolando 73 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist: the professor is on the verge of creating a superefficient new pesticide. If the student makes it to class they will ask a question that will inspire the professor to break through the final problem and create the pesticide, leading to the deaths of billions of insects. One insect has been sent from the future to prevent this from happening. It is... the Termitenator.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

plot twist: killing the insects would result in ecosystem collapse and the Termitenator was actually sent by starving humans in a post collapse world as a last ditch effort to stop it from happening.

[–] Rolando 8 points 7 months ago

A Terminator T-1000 bursts through the door. It steps on the Termitenator, killing it.

"Kid," says the T-1000 in the voice of their father. "Get to class."

Without further elaboration, it leaves.

[–] flicker 43 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I would honestly find a way to send them help.

"Economics 101 has been suspended. We are now Strike Force 101. We have one mission; save (student.)"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"We have found the student. Unfortunately, the bug appears to have made them consume entirely too much alcohol the night previous."

[–] flicker 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

As long as the bug has been disposed of, I say, mission accomplished! Class dismissed!

...I would be a teacher for like a month max.

[–] Kase 3 points 7 months ago

But it would be a good month :)

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

12:48 pm, now it's 15:31 pm. Are there updates? Have we heard from them ever since? Will we ever?

[–] Klear 42 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This will be bugging me all day.

[–] xhieron 15 points 7 months ago
[–] telllos 29 points 7 months ago

Respectfuly, I'm in tears.

Gold

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

From an academic standpoint, yeah that wouldn't fly if I was the professor, but on a personal level, I 100% relate. Insects are horrible creatures!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Damn it, if it didnt fly they would have been able to get to class...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Being late you wouldn't let fly? The fuck??

This wasn't even an assignment or something, it's a single lecture lol.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

...it's a joke about the bug flying...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

^ The bug that flew over my head.

Oh wait, I can escape now!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I have fought a grizzly bear,
Tracked a cobra to its lair,
Killed a crocodile who dared to cross my path.
But the thing I really dread
When I've just got out of bed
Is to find that there's a spider in the bath.

I've no fear of wasps or bees;
Mosquitoes only tease;
I rather like a cricket on the hearth.
But my blood runs cold to meet,
In pajamas and bare feet,
With a great big hairy spider in the bath!

I have faced a charging bull in Barcelona! I have dragged a mountain lioness from her cub!
I've restored a mad gorilla to its owner...
But I don't dare face that tub!

What a frightful looking beast,
Half an inch across, at least:
It would frighten even Superman or Garth.
There's contempt it can't disguise
In those little beady eyes
Of the spider sitting, glowering, in the bath.

It ignores my every lunge
With the backbrush and the sponge.
I have bombed it with a present from Penath.
It just curls into a ball;
Doesn't seem to mind at all,
And simply goes on squatting in the bath!

For hours we have been locked in endless struggle.
I have lured it to the deep end, by the drain!
At last I think I've washed it down the plughole...
But here it comes a-crawling up the chain!

Now it's time for me to shave,
Though my nerves will not behave,
And there's bound to be a fearful aftermath.
So before I cut my throat
I will leave this final note:
Driven to it by the spider in the bath!!

[–] drmoose 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I live on a ground floor in a tropical country - this is my reality every morning I open the front door.
When you live on a ground floor you have to really cover up all nooks and crannies and one major area is the gap at the bottom of the floor. So, we use these sticky door gap covers (like this one) that also act as traps for tiny bugs that could fit through it. Well those tiny trapped bugs attract predators and while they are too big to get in there they can sense prey and chill in front of your door which is a sure way to get spooked once you open the door in the morning :O

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago