Asklemmy

I am no doctor but I remember hearing one of the warning signs of depression can be the absence of feeling. It is certainly one of mine.

When your older, you understand how shitty the world really is, and shatters any hope you ever had.

I thought the world was so awesome, space is so vast, the world so interconnected, technology, communication across the whole world, we have flying machines, we (as in humanity) went to the moon, we have machines on mars, we might reverse aging...

Then, the realization that we are alone in space, the universe doesn't care about us, technology is being used for mass surveillance, censorship and propaganda, false information, carbon emissions, recession to authoritarianism, discrimination, etc......

I wish I could be naive and happy as I used to be, but once you grow up, you understand how fucked up thw world is. Its hard to have hope again.

I'm diagnosed with depression, but maybe depression is just the realization of the horrible truth of the world.

I think a big part of it is that when we are young, all of these are new experiences to us. And as such, they carry a lot more emotion and stimulation.

As an adult, you've experienced many things. To some degree, your brain is likely acustomed to it.

Something that helps is breaking out of your routines and experiencing new things. I've heard our neural pathways described as the grooves that form on a hill when sledding. When you first slide down the hill, you're making brand new grooves. Each trip is different and unique. But over time, trails get established and you end up using the same worn trails over and over.

Experiencing new, bespoke things is like breaking out of the trails and making a new one.

At least, that's my understanding! I'm not a proffessional, just someone who can relate to what you're describing :)

Yeah, it is normal, but it also sounds like depression.

That's exactly why we do drugs

Getting to the point in life where you realize how the sausage is made, packaged, marketed, distributed, sold, cooked, consumed, digested, defecated, flushed, mixed with other waste, and either separated into solids and liquids or dumped into the ocean will do that to you.

Well, the older you get the more experiences you have. Not everything is going to feel new when you've been through it a few decades.

I'd say it's normal.

I'm sure it also has something to do with that when you get older, you've had those experiences many more times than as a child. They just don't feel that specia anymore.l

Do shrooms that feeling will come right back

It's kind of the opposite for me. Like many people said, when you are young, every experience mostly feels new. However, when everything feels new to you, there's really nothing special about it. For me, I always embraced the familiar. I look back at my memories of family vacations with disappointment, because as everyone else was wanting to go and do fun things, I was complaining about how I would rather be watching TV or playing my gameboy. Now as an adult, I understand how precious our experiences can be. I look out at a mountain and I appreciate the beauty of it. I think about the history that has taken place around it. I think about how other people might have experienced it. I get so much more from it than I ever would have as a child.

Try LSD. It's like being a kid again.

Just go eat a bunch of psilocybin and report back OP

I recently read that in a neurotypical human being, the succession of two experiences only has a big impact on brain activity for the first experience, while the second makes a smaller spike. In psychotic patients on the other hand, the impression makes two equally large spikes both times. In the experiment, the experience was hearing a ballpoint pen click. So maybe being dulled to former experience is important for the brain to function properly, just a side effect of our natural brain filter.

Man, I don’t know, but this post was beautifully crafted, you sir are a poet.

It's do with living in the moment vs spending your time thinking about what you did or worrying about what the future might bring, IMHO.

We become way more prone to spend our time doing things like thinking about stuff we did (and how we miss it if it was good or could've done it better if it was bad) and worrying about what the future can bring (and not necessarily in grand terms: somethingas simple as "I have to get a haircut" which then goes one to "when will I have the time", then "but I need that time for X" and so on) as we grow older.

You absolutelly can still have some moments of wonder (for things as simple as how a cobweb looks with droplets of morning mist on it) but you need to be present there in mind also, not just in body, and not to not let some memory or concern rush in to take your mental attention away from the now.

I had a point in my life with a ton of anxiety and ended up learning Mindfulness (which is simply to try and not say anything to yourself in your mind, which is surprisingly hard to do for more than a few seconds) to stop the feeling (if you're not constantly looking back to something bad or fearing for something bad in the future you don't feel anxious about those things) and as a side effect I ended up with the habit of being more often present in the moment and that's how you just enjoy little wonders when you come across them.

Still, it's nowhere at the level one has as a kid.

I felt similar. Then I had a kid and seeing the world through their eyes brings much of it back. Nothing quite like the rush of emotions (and sleep deprivation) of being a parent to a young child.

Fully recommend the psychedelics BUT it's not for everyone.

Practice mindfulness through meditation.

Psychedelics do what that does but does so through explosive force, lol.

Mindfulness is so fundamentally critical to feeling alive again. That breeze still exists. The sound of the cicadas buzzing away is still there. The scent of rain still permeates.

Meditation isn't going "ohmmmmm🧘". It's a practice of clearing your mind, and living through your senses. Discerning your existence through means other than thought.

When you were a kid, you didn't have the capacity to only think like you do now. You were jumping between thought and raw sensory analysis. You were both free and grounded through your senses.

It's about finding a balance that as a kid you couldn't obtain, and that as an adult you have forsaken.

Good luck friend. Just know that you can get back to that.

Edit: I'd like to add that you practice until it's second nature, and you become much more aware as a result. You won't need to stop to smell those roses - they will grab your attention.

I understand what you mean, I have the same feeling - everything is a but less vivid now.

I am no expert, but my guess that is happening because you have much more experience with the world now. As we age, the number of things that will be completely new to us becomes smaller and smaller. We just have more experience, and even if we haven't seen/felt/heard something particular, chances are, that your brain still won't be completely surprised - it will be able to find some experiences that you have which are close to that new thing.

But when you are a kid - there is a whole world of things you didn't experience at all or didn't experience enough to understand fully. That's why everything was so vivid - there was a lot of "truly" new experiences.

Firstly I just want to say that this is really interesting post and I love that you've asked this question. Secondly, as someone who experienced child abuse I don't know where to even start in answering this question because as an adult I'm now in a space where I can actually feel my feelings and express them safely.

I think life is maybe similar to being in a long term relationship. There are times when every little thing life does annoys you or times where it's just eh and you realise you need to actively spice things up. And then there are times when you are completely overcome by joy thinking about how much you love life, how much you've been through together, and how excited you are to spend the rest of your lives together.

If you're looking for a suggestion on spicing things up I highly recommended jumping into some existential philosophy. It's like the intellectual equivalent of a roller coaster I guess.

Well firstly your senses do start dulling (eyesight, hearing), and secondly you have way more context on the world itself (the mortgage bond, climate change, pollution, family responsibilities, social media trolls, the fragility of bones and life, etc). So I suppose your brain is less focussed on the moment, and you've got a bit cynical about life ;-)

I accept that the way I looked at life and moments at 15, 25 and 50 are fairly different. Decisions I took at 25 were right for me then, but today I would have decided differently, but then I would not be where I am today either.

If you read up on how our brains age, it's basically pruning neuron branches. While this is a good thing up to a point, the pruning process continues well past our brains' peak performance because evolution is done with you at that point, I.e. you had your kids by then.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/19/brain-tree-why-we-replenish-only-some-of-our-cells

I can only speak from personal experience, but I feel much the same way you do. However, novelty still does it for me. And I think that's the explanation for the gradual drop-off. When you're young, everything is new. By the time you're older, you've seen it all, and so those little spikes of novelty are few and far between.

Part of it is looking back through rose-colored glasses. Sure, there was joy, but there was that time you stubbed your toe and you got so emotionally disregulated that you cried for an hour, or the time your parents put the wrong color socks on you and you screamed a bad word at them and refused to leave the house, or... etc.

You learned to regulate your emotions. That's mostly a good thing, but it also means that you learn to control yourself in the moment, and you don't tend to lose yourself in joy like you did as a child.

And that's OK. I enjoy things differently now, than I did then. Back then, when I played with a toy car, it gave me great joy but if something broke, or things didn't go my way, I also suffered uncontrollable anger and frustration. Today, when I take my TRX-4 trail truck out on the trails, I feel a different kind of joy that is mixed with intellectual understanding of the engineering of the machine, an appreciation of the beauty of the natural world that I didn't have as a child, etc. And if something breaks, it's not an emotional thing any more. I know I can fix it, I have the ability and the desire.

Heck, it's enjoyable to break things, take them apart, and fix them again. That certainly wasn't true when I was 6.

I don't know about normal, but I have more than 50 years and not jaded yet - the dish soap making bubbles still delights me, the beautiful sky makes me stop and stare, the smell of the night blooming jasmine, the world is just so incredible I don't know how anybody can really get used to it. Like, the fact that you get to exist at all, with consciousness and a physical body, it's not something I can take for granted.

Now if you mean am I more busy or distracted now? I think again the answer is no but I didn't like childhood and have enjoyed being an adult.

I would suggest a dream journal and trying to lucid dream, if your waking self has lost its sense of wonder

Things can't be fresh and new(ish) experiences forever. Welcome to entropy of the mind. However, there are always more fresh experiences out there for you to marvel at, you just have to find them.

There is definitely nothing wrong with you. There's a reason the phrase "childlike wonder" exists. It's normal for the newness and novelty of everything to amaze a child, and it's normal for experiences to become routine to adults. Even if you do experience something new, there's a very good chance that it's similar enough to something you've experienced before. Brains are designed to find patterns and relate things back to past experiences as part of a survival instinct.

But there is also nothing wrong with people who don't have the experience I described above. The above experience is probably more common for people with neurotypical brains. I've never been able to relate to "not feeling" or "feeling less", even though it seems to be quite common. My feelings are always a live wire, dialed up to 100 (and honestly, I'm over people - including doctors - telling me how nice that must be). But there's nothing "wrong" with my brain. It just functions differently, with different strengths and weaknesses. It's like comparing a car and a motorbike. They have different driving sensations, require different skill sets and safety precautions, but they're both vehicles that will get you from A to B.

Yeah I would say it's definitely normal. I just try to get out there and push myself to do new things, and really be present and thankful for the beautiful things that I do experience.

Due to climate change, there are less roses to smell. You could just be coping with the fact that you are aware of more pressing issues nowadays.

Hey OP, a lot of people are suggesting psilocybin or other psychedelics. If you're interested you can ask questions about that in the [email protected] community. I moderate it but there are psychonauts there that know about this stuff who are friendly and helpful.