this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2024
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Not The Onion

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
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[–] Wilshire 159 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

This is dystopian.

"We are currently exploring other methods to continue publishing our content in a way that is engaging and interesting to our followers."

[–] EdibleFriend 71 points 8 months ago

See! We are fun! Plz ignore the dead black children around the corner k? <3

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I recently watched the movie Running Man, and your quote reminded me that in the movie they have court appointed agents instead of attorneys, lol.

[–] Sludgeyy 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You might like Rollerball

Haven't seen either in a long time but you reminded me of it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Awesome, I'll check it out.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

“We are currently exploring other methods to continue publishing our content in a way that is engaging and interesting to our followers.”

WTF is wrong with police? W the actual F is wrong with them? I swear they think their mandate is "harm the folks we arrest as much as the law will possibly allow, both physically and emotionally."

What kind of person thinks this is how you treat pictures of human beings in your custody? What kind of person finds this defensible? These are human beings who may have broken some laws, but who are still human beings. Your job is to apprehend them, not to make their life worse in any other way, cops. They don't become valid objects of your mockery in some official capacity because you arrested them.

[–] [email protected] 144 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (17 children)

Gross. Can we not link Fox "News" stories, please? If you have to reference them, use an archive... They have been and continue to be an active opponent of Democracy. That's not an exaggeration. They also argued in court that no reasonable *person would believe their coverage, so... free pass?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's just one branch of Murdoch's press. By that logic, they should all be banned as they are all the same group just targeting different demographics..

[–] Pronell 26 points 8 months ago

I'm on board with that. (Not really, just maybe try to find a better source I'd think, but then I'm not someone who posts news stuff.)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

Not-fun fact: The Times is also owned by News Corp.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago

What the fuck.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago

Here I was thinking about how Lego would probably instruct police not to use their product to hide suspect identities and I was right. No family friendly product/brand wants their stuff being used by the police for obvious reasons.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (1 children)

How hard is it to use the generic ass emojis?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

🫏

The donkey is the closest there is to an ass emoji.

[–] perviouslyiner 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Next up, will The Register have to stop using Playmobil to illustrate news stories?

[–] bbuez 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Almighty rumpus in Swedish lesbian enclave

I wasnt sure what I was going to click on, but whoever made that thumbnail deserves a gift card

[–] YarHarSuperstar 6 points 8 months ago

This is true Internet history. I'm glad to have been made aware of this random, weird story.

[–] MeekerThanBeaker 15 points 8 months ago

It was number one, officer. Just look at him.

[–] Sludgeyy 12 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

How about not putting them on television or in news releases in the first place? Maybe let them have privacy until they're charged and/or convicted? How about that?

[–] Fedizen 6 points 8 months ago

emojis obviously

[–] taanegl 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

...they're going to make a deal with Roblox now, aren't they?

Some poor guy, hunched over on the ground, getting brutally beaten by the cops and the cam footage shows him going "gedakadootendatendaJoe, I've been married a long time ago" with the default Roblox face and headbob animations.

"Your honour, look at this footage and tell me that it isn't hilarious. You can't. The defence rests."

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In 1 points 8 months ago

GTA synergies seem strongest

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