this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2024
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[–] superweeniehutjrs 95 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Can I claim my "babies" as dependents on my taxes, hypothetically?

[–] FlyingSquid 84 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yes, however, if you or your partner menstruates, it's manslaughter.

[–] ignotum 33 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Is it only the eggs that count as babies or sperm as well?
If they do then I may be one of the biggest mass murderers in history

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think the ruling covers embryos, so a fertilized egg.

Either on their own are zygotes, so don't count as citizens or whatever the fuck is going on in Alabama.

[–] candybrie 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

A zygote is a fertilized egg from fertilization until it splits enough. The egg and sperm cells are gametes.

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[–] theangryseal 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I haven’t done much killing in the last 10 years or so, but when I was a teenager I slaughtered millions multiple times a day and stuffed them into small sacks and buried them in the trash. My drive to kill has slowed down significantly.

My mom thought the washing machine was eating those little sacks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 10 months ago

I don't know, there's a lot of competition out there if you're right. You've got around 4 billion competitors.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Fertilized eggs, in any stage of development or form.

[–] killeronthecorner 46 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If you can find a way to oppress women with the rebate, you'll have their support.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago

Up next: Alabama now arguing they should have 4,000 electoral votes.

[–] Mahonia 38 points 10 months ago (5 children)

So most eggs are unfertilized embryos, which in mammals is what happens during menstruation. That said, it's not even a stretch at this point to think that conservatives might start saying that menstruation is immoral or whatever for this same reason.

[–] mineralfellow 8 points 10 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The GOP would never agree to the parallel because the brown ones cost more.

[–] Stupidmanager 7 points 10 months ago

Nah. Most conservatives I know are in support of the for profit prison system. They need eggs of all colors to grow up poor, uneducated and limited choice but to commit crimes.

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They probably only cost more because that money goes to Big Egg while they get minimum yolk.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

The brown ones cost more to raise due to their inherent behavior and lack of rooster figure.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

i hate my state so fucking much

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[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"Behold, a chicken!"

--Diogenes, probably.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

“Get out of my fucking barrel you filthy pleb” - Diogenes

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (9 children)

What I don’t understand is; do all girls/women receive child payments from birth to ~60

If they have a period are they liable for murder?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I guess I'll go eat some scrambled children (by Alabama's definition)

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