this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Bro waited too long. Tinder ain't for penpals.

[–] scarilog 62 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Tbf it's been one day and OP thinks they got ghosted, when in reality there might be tons of different reasons why he hasn't got a reply yet

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but just before new years? They were wanting new years plans, and they probably made some.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How about saying what you want then?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Women think men hate women taking the lead because a lot of men hate women taking the lead.

[–] davidgro 2 points 5 months ago

Those men are terrible, and ruin things for the rest of us.

My now-wife sent the first message, and I'm so glad she did. It was super rare even close to a decade ago.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Why though¿? I understand preferring to take the lead but why do men actually hate it when women take the lead¿?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

The same reason cave men didn't try to eat the gazelle that was lying right next to their cave for 2 days. All the ones who did eat it, died. When things feel too easy, it sets off alarms that suggest it might not be as good as it seems. Men don't actually hate it, it just tends to set off their inborn defenses. If you want to take the lead on a man, try to show him that he's done something to earn your affection. Probably most applicable to strangers.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Including whatever it was he said just before she stopped replying.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

"Hey, haven't heard back in a bit, everything okay?"

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Not sure why the downvotes, this is a likely scenario. Back when I was bothering with the app, I realized this quickly. There seems to be a line if at which point you're still gabbing but not meeting up, either party is likely to move on.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Good thing I'm too depressed to have used dating apps. I'd probably be sitting here thinking about times that happened to me. But I know better, nothing can happen, even bad things, if I'm isolated enough.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago

That's when it hurts the most. When you feel like things are working out great, when you pour your heart and soul into it, and they suddenly lose interest, and you're not even granted an explanation as to why or what you might've done or said wrong, if anything. Just left feeling like you're simply not a lovable enough person, and never will be.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'm convinced that dating apps are no longer a good way to find a relationship. They've realized that if their users get into LTRs it will hurt their revenue.

I used to be an avid user of most dating apps, but I've had a much more fulfilling love life since quitting them to focus on meeting people IRL

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Also, most are owned by match.com and they just shit up all the sites trying to penny push the users.

[–] elfin8er 3 points 5 months ago

I noticed my spam go up as soon as I signed up for one. Pretty sure they sell all your data.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (3 children)
[–] lessthanluigi 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I can't get enough

[–] TheBat 6 points 5 months ago

Is French bread

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Makes rythm, makes rythm, makes rythm

[–] Crashumbc 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Haven't used the apps in years. But never really thought of them as a conversation tool.

I only used them for meeting, quick chat, and then setting up a date.

[–] elfin8er 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Every time I've tried to have a quick chat and set up a date, I'm called creepy for wanting to meet in person right away. Guess I'm not good looking enough.

[–] MindSkipperBro12 6 points 5 months ago

Remember boys and girls: It’s only creepy if you’re ugly.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Guess I'm not good looking enough.

Hey now, it could just be your social skills.

[–] Crashumbc 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Things may have changed, I'm older now. By quick chat, I mean back-forth over like maybe a week give or take. Get a date the next week.

One thing, most miss about these apps, is like IRL it is about volume to some degree. Meet as many people as you can. If you get dates from 20-30% of your interactions you're doing really good...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

I agree that he waited too long, but simply ghosting on someone in a situation like this is a cruel, shitty thing to do.