this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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Hey girls! I recently started my social transition, and i've been thinking about names. I know not everyone uses a different name during/after their transition, but i think i want to. How did you find your name, and how did you know it was the right one?

My siblings and i were all given names that start with the letter E, and i would like to maintain that pattern. The first name that came to mind was "Eva" after "Queen Iva" from the anime One Piece, who is a character with the power to control hormones.

Seeing Queen Iva was one of the things that made me start to question my gender, so i like the idea of honoring that. However i feel a little wierd about picking my name based on a tv show. Is that something people do? I've looked at various lists of baby names, but nothing really clicks the same way as Eva.

Id love to hear your advice and experiences!

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

CW: Family

CW because some people have a hard time hearing about supportive families.

Before I was born there was a brief period where my parents were expecting me to be a girl, before being "corrected" by later ultrasounds. So they decided on a name, even before deciding on my later deadname. At some point they mentioned that to me, so later when my egg cracked I kind of already knew that there was a name for me, and I took that.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Same. Although they had to have 2 names prepared because I hid my genitals on the ultrasound until the very end πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Heck yeah, chiming in with the β€œparents had two names picked out” backstory. I like to tell people my mom picked my name, we just needed a little redo to correct it to the right one!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Basically the same here, albeit with some slight tweaking to the fem name to avoid having to constantly correct pronounciation like my version 1 name.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Kind of the same for me also, but I couldn't take the female name they had planned for me since they gave it to my sister. All of my cousins are women on my mom's side, so my parents were extremely surprised when they found out my sex, since my mom didn't think it was possible for her to have a boy, but it turned out that she was right all along.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

However i feel a little wierd about picking my name based on a tv show.

Most parents do it for their kids too anyway, and trans people all over pick names from their favorite videogame all the time! Just pick whatever feels right for you.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I tried to find names with ties to my old name or personal significance, but none of them felt right. So I looked through a list of names online, and my name jumped out at me.

If your name feels right, then it's right :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Interesting, I always assumed your name had a connection to Ada Lovelace!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Well, having her as a namesake is pretty amazing, but she's not the reason :)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

At some point in high school, before I was even considering that I might be trans, I just thought about how it was a cute name. It stuck in my head for a reason I couldn't figure out for like 4 years after that, until the reason slapped itself in my face and I started transitioning.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I just spoke to my parents about it and apparently they would have named me Emily anyway lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I just wanted a name that works in both my native languages, ideally english too, without being butchered by local accents and dialects. That narrowed it down a lot. Thankfully that small selection had a name I really like, and cheekily signing an email with it just to see how it feels reinforced my choice^^

Also, if the name Eva just clicks for you, that's great :D It's a lovely name on its own, and your lore behind it is the cherry on top, making that choice a million times cooler^^

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

I chose a name that means the same thing as my birth name, but in a different language (old English -> Norwegian). I asked my mom what my name would have been if I had been born a girl and took that first name as my middle name.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Tried some different ones out with my friends. As soon as I suggested the name I ultimately went with, everyone had a pretty immediate reaction. Like it just suited me really well. And nearly a decade later, I can say for sure it was meant to be my name.

To find names to try, I used baby name sites. Helpful way to get ideas, but by no means is it the only way to find your name.

In all honesty, I think everyone finds their name differently, and I also think there's nothing wrong with choosing a name that's a reference to a show you like! Eventually, the name you do choose will be synonymous with who you are. Try Eva with some friends and see how you like it :) You can always try another name if Eva doesn't work out. But for what it's worth, I think it's a beautiful name.

Edit: just to add, there's nothing wrong with changing your name again or using a name for years and then deciding its not a good fit. :) what matters is that you like your name and that you're happy about it. There shouldn't be any limits placed on that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Searched the internet for cute names and picked the first that I liked, which was Luna.

I don't remember how I got Chloe and I think I'm actively gaslighting myself while writing this comment to think it was at a time when I was unsure about Luna after using that for a while so I searched for names again.

[–] WhiteRabbit_33 9 points 10 months ago

Went down a list of names till I found one that I liked and that felt right. Checked the meaning/roots of the name to make sure I liked it. Checked the name against the popularity of the name during my birth year so it wouldn't be too far out there. I'd skip that step now, but my goal was to go stealth early in my transition. Then I just used the name with people to see how it felt and make sure before doing the legal name change.

My middle name was easier since I took the name of a trans woman whose death was the catalyst for my transition to honor her memory/life.

As far as TV shows go, it wasn't entirely purposeful but wasn't accidental that my initials spell out a TV character I liked growing up. If it has meaning to you, don't let anyone else tell you it's wrong.

I'm not familiar with One Piece, but Eva sounds like a good name. It also reminds me of Evangelion which is one of the best and most influential animes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I just liked potato girl

I've known others who have used characters from shows, it's not uncommon

[–] june 7 points 10 months ago

It came to me and it felt right.

Now I’m trying to figure out middle and last names.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Hi, I'm Ead! My 1.0 name came from the Old English Ead gar Ead meaning happy or fruitful, and Gar meaning Spear. So I cut off the spear.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

i love this and i love you and your mind is a treasure to the nation

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Thanks, I think this is the best compliment I have ever received πŸ’“

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Is that pronounced like the "ed" in a norse "edda" or like the "ed" in the garden of "Eden" (or some other way)?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

My preferred pronunciation is like Eden, but I'm fine with the other one.

[–] Nikki 6 points 10 months ago

i really like the swapnote girl and always have, her name always stuck with me! so i chose that :3

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It was supposed to be my birth name.

They thought I was going to be a girl up until I was actually born, and it felt fitting to take it on. I've also enjoyed the thought process of the seed growing into the flower that it brings, seeds unknowingly laid that grew into Rose.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Same here... but they got a sonogram about a month before I was born, so they had to pick a new name once I was "determined" to be AMAB.

I always disliked all variations of my deadname and much prefered what should have been my birth name. So I'm making it happen!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I picked my name when I was trying to name a character in a story I was writing. It ended up being a really nice name, so I said "Screw it, that's my name now. I'll just rename the character."

Also, plenty of people are named after characters from TV shows. My dead name was from a TV show apparently, but I dunno which one. In the end, even if it wasn't a common thing, if you like the name, use it. It's better than settling for another name you don't like as much and having to live with it when all your documents get changed.

[–] CowMonarch 6 points 10 months ago

Eva is a lovely name.

Names are beyond difficult. All my life I had dreamed of having a few names in particular but over the years I have met people with those names. I now associate the names with those people for better or worse. They feel off limits because I would likely compare myself to those women.

In the end I grabbed a ton of names from a bunch of online baby books, threw them into a spreadsheet, and started sorting. The first cut was just names I liked, and then I kept refining those that made the cut. Having hard rules can help too eg: no andro names, something that can be shortened, common trans names, etc

If nothing clicks this can at least help you understand patterns of names you like that you can research more.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Another person who picked theirs from a video game. Pick the name you want to give yourself. Don't worry about what other people think and focus on if it makes YOU happy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

My mom suggested it. I thought it was the most stupid name suggestion so far, but smiled and nodded because I was happy that we were having a genuine talk about my transition without the negativity that we would often end up with.

After a few months I realized that I kinda love it and, as you say, nothing really clicked the same way. It's been about 2 years since I legally changed it and I still get a warm feeling when people use it :)

Also, nothing weird about the name Eva! If it feels weird to tell people how you came up with it, you are allowed to not mention that the idea came from a TV show.

[–] AlexCory21 4 points 10 months ago

A friend of mine on VRChat picked it out for me and it just sort of "stuck". They wanted to call me a nice girly name instead of my vrchat username (which is different from my lemmy account name). So they started calling me "Allie".

So now I go by "Allie" lol. It's very close to Alex as well. But I have been debating on changing it legally to Allison and then using "Allie" as a nickname.

[–] daddybutter 4 points 10 months ago

For my first name I went through every name list I could find. Trendy names, classic names, unique names, fantasy names, thousands upon thousands of names... I spent around a week of dedicated browsing and as I read them one by one, if I liked it, I'd try and picture my friends calling me by that. There were a couple that I liked but only one out of all of them felt right, so I went with that. My middle name was a split decision between a couple of the first names I liked, but I liked them differently as middle names so that was also a pretty easy decision once I heard them out loud after my first name. My new last name is a mix of a unique name and foreign word that I liked and also liked how they fit together. No regrets :D

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

When I picked out my name, I spent hours looking through lists of names and picked out ones I really liked and put them in a list. My top choices at first were Raina and Amirah, and I tested them out by creating terraria characters with those names. I felt like the letter r didn't fit with my personality, so I ended up going with Amiah instead. I actually first heard of the name Raina from that one frog girl that was in an old version of Minecraft, and I still really like the name, so if I ever have a daughter that's what I would name her. So imo it is totally fine to name yourself after something from media.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My partner and my favorite season was Autumn and felt like "guess I'll be an Autumn then 😁"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh, hey! Another Autumn! :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Hii! 😁

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

on a similar note, how many of y'all picked or are thinking of choosing a name that may not align with your culture traditionally?

I'm having a little dilemma about it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

i also was given all names of the same initials with my siblings! Eva is suchhhh a pretty name for what it’s worth :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

The feminine version of my first name isnt to my liking, but my parents gave me a male and female name during pregnancy and the female name is a good fit for me, I think. I'm like 80% sure.

[–] Ekybio 2 points 10 months ago

I have choosen a name based on what represents a strong aspect of myself.

Since I always love to learn and know more things, my Name is the word for "Knowledge of the World".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Well, I kept on running through names to see which rolled off the tongue and gave me euphoria to hear. First tried to go with Kaela...then that felt...not quite enough. So, I went to Mikaela. Ended up with a long-winded explanation with my friend group that I'm just the Sword in the Stone(the object) personified due to the meaning of my chosen name as a whole.

Ultimately, the name is up to you...but, personally, my only advice is to find one that seems like it fits you like a glove.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I just took it from Celeste (Maddie not Madeline but eh who cares)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I robbed it from the least interesting song about a girl by that name. As for how I knew it was right, I was sort of using it in my head long before I cracked.