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Daughters and Fathers (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter.

What did your father do for you/not do for you, that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won't bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I'm the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I'd like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from the heart and not the head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven't been getting enough sleep! It is what it is!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

For me, it means a lot when my dad can apologise and take accountability for his mistakes. Sometimes he can be very quick to judge, which can feel diminishing, but whenever he comes around and recognises his behaviour it always feels better. It shows me he’s had time to think and reflect on his own personality.

I guess it’s obvious that spending time and sharing hobbies is important. For example, my dad and I recently went to the cinema together to watch the new Planet of the Apes movie. We frequently send songs or posts of animals to each other. Small things like that are fun. It don’t need to be a full-on planned father/daughter day.