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this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Very good summary. I've never seen anyone do it outside of YouTube but someone added me to a snake handling church Facebook group for the laughs and they have some videos of them doing it.
Those insane snake handling churches that routinely have people bitten?
Yeah the group is a riot. Lots of them have died of snakebite and yet they persist.
There's a great book about it called Salvation on Sand Mountain that I highly recommend.
I'd say that's to their credit.
Don't get me wrong, they're completely nuts, but at least they're consistent. Anyone who gets bitten doesn't have enough faith. Period.
I have this great photo of some chubby kid with a tie that says JESUS holding a box of snakes someplace.
Wait so if I never bother to test myself because I'm not a pond-drinking moron, does that mean I have enough faith?
I'm not saying it isn't silly, but it comes from a specific passage in Mark 16-
So Big J, who's also Big G, says that if you believe, you'll be able to walk around with snakes and drink poison and survive.
They're not so big on the poison drinking, admittedly.
I grew up in a branch of the Pentecostal Church (not the snake handlers). Even as a kid I thought it was fucking wild that people did that.
My favorite times were when people were "overcome by the spirit" or whatever and they'd stand up to get attention and speak in tongues (same people every fucking week) and this crazy old woman would stand up and "interpret" what those folks were saying. Listen, Birdie, I'm pretty sure that if there is a god he doesn't speak solely in King James English.
I tried to speak in tongues when I was young. Somebody told me to just babble, so I did. Then I stopped because I knew I was just faking it. Some lady gushed, "what a beautiful prayer language!"
And then I knew they couldn't tell the difference. Thats how I began questioning what I was taught. Wish it still didn't take me so long after that.
You got lucky then. I think most of the ones doing it either want to sound important or don't want to feel left out so they're faking, but a bunch of folks get swept up in something like mass hysteria and really think they did it. You see that a bunch in things like teen conferences where there's just a load of kids swept up in a feeling.
Those folks are the true believers. They may fake it later but they really feel like they did something that first time and they would do anything trying to get that feeling back.
Lucky I got out, yes. But it took another 12 years and no shortage of heartbreak. Childhood indoctrination doesn't leave easily.
Nope, it doesn't, but I want you to know that we're glad to have you.
Well these are people who think Jesus was white, so their perceptions aren't exactly accurate lol.
The "interpretations," based on what my wife (who grew up in an Assembly of God church) has told me always seem to be things you would normally hear in church anyway- Jesus loves you, have faith in God, pray hard and good things will happen, etc.
Mostly, yeah. That whole "Good things will happen" was a LOT of it where I grew up. It was vague prophecies akin to what a fortune teller would tell you as long as you kept the faith or whatever.
Sometimes there was some hellfire and brimstone mixed into the "prophecy", but I think that's just because I was in an area where that was popular.