this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
357 points (90.8% liked)

Funny

6854 readers
329 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] RampantParanoia2365 44 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ok, I didn't get it when I thought they meant not making the deck angry, and I still don't get what I'm supposed to be seeing here.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 51 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

The footprints in the snow that show he was still pissing off the deck.

My only question is why does she care?

[–] [email protected] 75 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Maybe she doesn't want her deck to smell like piss

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Or the plants to die. Large shrubs can be expensive to replace.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Ok, just piss in the corner then.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I finally stopped peeing off the porch when I killed 2 rose bushes. Now I walk 2 steps off the porch and kill the grass

[–] RagingRobot 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I know... it's pretty much written into marriage vows, "till death do us part or one of us stops pissing from the deck". She needs to fulfill her duties and start joining him at night on the deck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He is pissing off the deck. And no the ground won't start smelling like piss from that lol

[–] slazer2au 10 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Depends where the last few drops go.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)

You'd have to have quite a lot of last few drops to smell up the place. Or some ridiculously potent piss.

[–] FreakinSteve 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Have you ever seen a public urinal?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

No of course not. Please elaborate. Do they get similar amounts of users or something else that's comparable?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm now more interested in how you've never seen a urinal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Now I'm even more intrigued: a Finnish name, but deep south US vernacular.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I've seen Americans use that and I've since been eager to find the opportunity to use it myself

[–] FreakinSteve 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

They all have misses and drips all around them. It's such a simple skill that men can't master even when an entire industry was built to accommodate them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

But you are blasting piss off the porch, the direction is away from you. Almost all of the splatter is gonna end up on the lawn, where you're pissing anyway.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not if he does it every night. A few drops after a few weeks is a fair bit and wood soaks up liquid pretty good.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Wood for an outside deck isn't going to be soaking up much liquid, or the deck would turn to shit after a couple rainstorms. It's probably pressure treated

[–] RealFknNito 5 points 7 months ago

I'm now imagining him getting bottles of concentrated piss and pouring it off the deck in the middle of the night to deter predators.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

I imagine there's a racoon hiding underneath the boards, just lying there with its mouth open, waiting