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It still wouldn't compare, fortunately.
And I'm a woman with very thick, long hair. I wash it, condition it, mask it. I scrub the budding calluses on my feet and moisturize, then I shave most of my body.
Granted, hour-long showers only happen once a week, because I only wash my hair once a week, so my everyday showers are more like 30 min, but you'll rip those hour-long ones away over my dead body.