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Why would your best friend or someoneyou mutually considered a good friend suddenly ghost you? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by cheese_greater to c/asklemmy

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Is there a way to figure out if they blocked youon Signal if you can still technically message them?

~~Edit: he seems to have blocked me or hasn't used Signal since a single emphatically non-controversial/non-hurtful comment so he either blocked me or hasn't opened Signal for >month. He's not responding to anything else either so he's either depressed or blocked+done with me.~~

Edit: I'll know when it comes birthday time. I'm not a Bridezilla about birthdays but it would be unusual for him to not wish me one. He's never not done so. I'll have my answer when that happens 🙏 (namaste) If he wants to be a dick about it and leave me in the dark totally those days are fortunatley numbered :/

Edit: we're white and very (North)-American.

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[–] FabledAepitaph 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Whenever I "ghost" someone, it's usually because the friendship isn't working for me, or it didn't turn out to be what I thought it was. I put "ghost" in quotes because I don't really block people, I'll just stop initiating and then put the onus on them to maintain the relationship for a bit until I feel better about it.

So far, none of them have really cared enough to pick up the slack, so blocking them wasn't really necessary. Good moves on my part I guess.

[–] cheese_greater 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Thats not ghosting tho. Ghosting is when you basically shadowban someone from your recognition or communication and do nothing (or worse, blocking them without a way to touch base one last time) to establish why or how to make it up to them if you both consider it worth saving or at bare minimum to clarify what went wrong. Maybe not everyone shares my believe in the value of a friendship exit interview but if I give a shit about them I wouldn't want them to be blind to what screwed it for me.

Thats interesting. Definitely my approach on recognizing birthdays and anniversaries because I strongly believe if you 365 dates to recognize youmre basically gonna be doing that every day and I dont relish that burden