this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
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My friend says I act like this.
I read a book called "how to win friends and influence people" and it completely changed my life for the better once I started taking the book literally.
Everybody tends to be selfish and think of themselves (not in a bad way). If you play into this and learn what people are interested in, you instantly become interesting to that person.
"Hey Ricky, how's your hot wheels collection! Get any new classics?" True story, different name. That's just the butcher at the grocery store I frequent. He'll tell me all about his latest hot wheels collection, and then I get a discount, we both win. I've made a friend, and influenced him to give me a deal.
But how do you even know about his Hot wheels collection? It's not like I ask all store clerks for their hobby.
Ask them about themselves, i guess. Im sure it's in the book somewhere.
I suppose you can try and start a conversation by talking about yourself, or "a friend", then using that as a hook for asking about them. Or use a low hanging fruit, like a popular sport (something weird in USA, soccer everywhere else):
"Damn, my friend can't stop talking about his team, do you follow sports?" On a no, it's a perfect opportunity to comment something like "Yeah, better stuff to spend your time with, right?"
He had a couple hot wheels out on the counter and I asked about them, so he was excited to share his hobby with me.