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I can’t save money because of my home and car loans. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to eat if it weren’t for my parents helping me out with cooking cheap meals and borrowing money, which I always feel like shit for doing. My job tires me out enough that I can’t work up the energy to fight past my ADHD paralysis to job hunt for one that pays more. I can’t get a raise because of said ADHD paralysis fucking with my productivity. I also can’t work up the energy to clean up and repair enough that I could rent my place out and move back in with my parents. And selling the house is off the table—my parents are the only ones that are close enough to my work for me to be able to make it without a three hour drive, and they’ve got a full house atm.
I was rejected for a refinance that would’ve bought me $400 a month worth of breathing room. And the energy credit is running out soon, so I’m about to start being $200-300 in the hole.
I can’t work up the energy to go out and meet someone who could be my significant other, even if that were something I had any skill or confidence in doing.
Hell, I look at my mates and they’ve got their shit on better lock than I do in some ways. Brian and Marcus have rented their house out and moved back in with their parents, ended up making about $400 a month in profit. Nate doesn’t even have a job, but he has a wife (which is really confusing, considering how he looks), and their combined Centrelink payments let them save up for big purchases they may need to make. Even Carol has a partner and a job at a casino making double what I do. (Names changed for privacy)
BUT!
I have gone through too much, survived too much to let all the effort of doing so go to waste. Even if it ends up being useless in the end, I’m going to take every opportunity I can force myself to take in order to get myself into a better place. No way in hell I’m letting the world push me into a corner without giving it a black eye on the way.
Love the attitude in the last paragraph. I've got ADHD too, I find if I pick a time/day to do something (like applying to jobs) and tell someone my plan, I can force myself into not pushing it off. Applying to jobs definitely isn't a fun experience but I recently changed jobs myself and it honestly feels refreshing. Like starting a new chapter.
Hey, hang in there! Glad to hear you end that post on a positive note. If you ever need some support you can drop me a DM, I’ll give it my best!