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I've often thought about taking a vacation in Japan, so I have a few genuine questions.
Thanks for making yourself available for this.
For your first question, maybe take a look at the youtube channel Abroad in Japan.
Usually highlights not so well known locations in various places around japan.
According to some bilingual JP youtube colleagues he is well received in the japanese community.
I think maybe older abroad in Japan might be fine. Rachael and Jun is another one I used to watch. I consume that type of content less the longer I live here. If you're into outdoorsy stuff Go North Japan is really nice
You might have to get used to ducking more than usual. And showers in AirBnBs might be too short to wash your shoulders and head. Hotels in the cities are fine in my experience.
Almost every shower I've seen in Japan has it on a movable hose rather than fixed, so at least there's that. I forgot when I went back to the US for a visit for the first time in ~6 years and was super annoyed, heh.