this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 93 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Nothing funnier when hearing the players come up with the right solution right away and then immediately dismissing it.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Or my party, struggling with unlocked doors.

DM (later): "all you had to do was turn the fucking knob"

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Are you one of those "how would you open the door?" kind of DM when players encounter an unlocked door and said they "open the door"?

Stop wasting everyone's time. When players said "we try to open the door", just say "it's unlocked and the door open" and move on. Stop the "you didn't say you turning the knob" bullshit. Do I have to describe I'm breathing every 2 seconds, too?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

No, we're a bunch of dipshit players who just assume it's locked.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

Me with enough Doritos and maybe a beer: Never, that's pedantic.

Other me: Roll a damage d4, you missed breathing for two rounds.

[–] Atropos 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

When I DM, I usually mess with them a little when they specifically lockpick all the doors. As opposed to your suggestion of just opening it.

[–] dfc09 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My first ever time playing DnD, I was a rogue so I naturally approached every door with "can I try to pick it?"

Worst that happened was the DM describes me making an idiot of myself, twiddling with lockpicks for five minutes before noticing it's just unlocked :P

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

"Okay, you spend 5 minutes picking the lock, you hear a click. When you try to open the door it seems locked..."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

It's only wasted time if people didn't have fun. And sometimes a bit of misdirection makes the actual challenges more fun, too.

[–] KreekyBonez 14 points 10 months ago

I had a DM once, and they made a weird lake in the middle of the room that we were trying to pass through.

turns out, the lake was full of fish. specifically, herring. more specifically, they were red herring. boy, did we feel stupid after 20 minutes of that nonsense.

[–] Archpawn 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

How exactly does that happen? Aren't most doors unlocked?

Though in all fairness, the one time I played D&D we spent like 20 minutes working out how to go through some small hole 70 feet up in the roof, before deciding to just go through the door that we all knew was there and unlocked.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

The DM describes some fancy heavy door. Someone tries to listen through the door. Barbarian tries to bash it open but rolls a nat 1 and stubs his toe taking 2 damage. Rogue tries to pick it, rolls a 3 and ends up locking the door. Cleric doesn't even realize there's a door there. Lack of skill continues ad nauseum for 20 minutes.

[–] SirSamuel 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Sometimes the players just forget to open the door. I was doing a one-shot with a friend, playing SW5e. He had opened a couple doors already, but this time he approaches and says:

Player: "I ring the doorbell"

GM: "You are met with silence. Nothing happens"

Player: "Helper droid, help me get this door open"

GM: "The droid approaches the door. He slowly turns his head and you feel his photoreceptors bore into your eyes. He extends a digit and, while maintaining eye contact, slowly presses the door open button. The door opens with a pneumatic burst. 'I am happy to problem solve for you, Master. Is there anything else you need me to do? Turn on a light, perhaps? Make stim tea? I do enjoy extending myself behind my core programming as an assassin.'"

Player: "'Shut up and guard the door.' I step inside the room, what do I see"

GM: "As you cross the threshold, two automated turrets drop from their enclosures in the ceiling. Surprise round, roll for initiative"

It was a fun game. For me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

That droid have a little too much attitude and I love it.

[–] Viking_Hippie 5 points 10 months ago

I fucking love that the main Nemesis of the original Vox Machina was..doors 😂

[–] DaCookeyMonsta 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Party once used a chime of opening after spending 20 minutes trying to open a door they had found the key to 5 minutes before.

I'm starting to think any ouzzle solved by looking at your inventory may just be asking too much.

[–] DaCookeyMonsta 3 points 10 months ago

Every fucking time.

Also with the justification: The DM wouldn't think that way.

I have layers dammit!