this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
778 points (98.0% liked)
Funny: Home of the Haha
5826 readers
119 users here now
Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.
Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!
Our Rules:
-
Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.
-
No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.
-
Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.
Other Communities:
-
/c/[email protected] - Star Trek chat, memes and shitposts
-
/c/[email protected] - General memes
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I mean, she's the only one who could handle his ballistic sperm, no? ๐ค
CUMINCIDE
Came from an alien star Came to bend you over a bar.
Dna not a factor, balls a nuclear reactor
Taking all your women Filling them with semen
I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come!
Super powered jets of white, filling you up with spite
Giant, throbbing cock of might; Slamming your wife all damn night.
Ramming your children too, object and I'll fuck you
You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!
Spreading our race across the galaxy, conquest by spreading seed.
Our weapon lethal ejaculation, Killing by insemination
Superior jizm, final cataclysm!
You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!
DO YOU WANT MAKE FUCK? BERZERKER
... da fuck?
Lmao!
That is what happens when you're hanging out with a death metal band, and start joking about Superman jizzing and blowing Lois' head off during sex.
I started writing, and about twenty minutes later, there was a riff, and a bass line. The drummer wasn't up to a good blast beat lol.
It got recorded, but ended up tossed out lol. Afaik, the files are gone totally, but I kept the note on my phone :)
Like, can you imagine a bunch of aliens dressed like GWAR, but spreading through the universe like Omniman's people (from the comic/show invincible, if you haven't ever run across the reference) to fuck their way to dominance? They either kill you by fucking you, or they breed you to make more of themselves.
The guys were all high and half drunk, so there were joking plans for a sequel from the female aliens' perspective, and then a final one when one of the offspring decided to take them out with its monster cock the size of a baseball bat by masturbating and exploding the original aliens. I doubt I'll ever write those sequels lol.
Time to get the band back together
Ikr?
They actually are still together, except the vocalist. And I'm still friends with them. They don't do death metal any more though, it's a doom/sludge type of thing. I'm even on two tracks (credited under my real name, so I don't share anything about them) doing growls and such (I can't actually sing for shit, but I can do a decent growl and a low-range resonant throat singing as long as I keep it simple).
Good guys :)
If you just wrote this I am thoroughly impressed...
and very turned on ;)
Thanks :)
I see someone else is a Larry Niven fan.
Counterpoint: Wonder Woman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aMss1p8EQ
https://youtu.be/wqwUdp5-2D8?si=p0h6W8Ib7DzW98uU&t=36
wonder woman can