this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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I suppose even Krypton has a South (startrek.website)
submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/funny
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[โ€“] Jubei_K_08 52 points 10 months ago (7 children)

I mean, she's the only one who could handle his ballistic sperm, no? ๐Ÿค”

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (3 children)

CUMINCIDE

Came from an alien star Came to bend you over a bar.

Dna not a factor, balls a nuclear reactor

Taking all your women Filling them with semen

I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come!

Super powered jets of white, filling you up with spite

Giant, throbbing cock of might; Slamming your wife all damn night.

Ramming your children too, object and I'll fuck you

You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!

Spreading our race across the galaxy, conquest by spreading seed.

Our weapon lethal ejaculation, Killing by insemination

Superior jizm, final cataclysm!

You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!

[โ€“] Reddfugee42 14 points 10 months ago

DO YOU WANT MAKE FUCK? BERZERKER

[โ€“] sirboozebum 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

... da fuck?

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Lmao!

That is what happens when you're hanging out with a death metal band, and start joking about Superman jizzing and blowing Lois' head off during sex.

I started writing, and about twenty minutes later, there was a riff, and a bass line. The drummer wasn't up to a good blast beat lol.

It got recorded, but ended up tossed out lol. Afaik, the files are gone totally, but I kept the note on my phone :)

Like, can you imagine a bunch of aliens dressed like GWAR, but spreading through the universe like Omniman's people (from the comic/show invincible, if you haven't ever run across the reference) to fuck their way to dominance? They either kill you by fucking you, or they breed you to make more of themselves.

The guys were all high and half drunk, so there were joking plans for a sequel from the female aliens' perspective, and then a final one when one of the offspring decided to take them out with its monster cock the size of a baseball bat by masturbating and exploding the original aliens. I doubt I'll ever write those sequels lol.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Time to get the band back together

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Ikr?

They actually are still together, except the vocalist. And I'm still friends with them. They don't do death metal any more though, it's a doom/sludge type of thing. I'm even on two tracks (credited under my real name, so I don't share anything about them) doing growls and such (I can't actually sing for shit, but I can do a decent growl and a low-range resonant throat singing as long as I keep it simple).

Good guys :)

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you just wrote this I am thoroughly impressed...

and very turned on ;)

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Thanks :)

[โ€“] FlyingSquid 5 points 10 months ago

I see someone else is a Larry Niven fan.

[โ€“] hamsammy 5 points 10 months ago

Counterpoint: Wonder Woman.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

wonder woman can