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this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
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IT guy here, Excel is a data analytics tool, not a database, not a word processor, not a sales system, not a photo album, not a notepad, not a paint program.
If at anytime you are treating Excel as a database, you are doing it wrong, and you deserve me mocking you when asking for help recovering it when it breaks, I won't as I am not a dick, but if I did, you would deserve it.
If you want a database, build an SQL database, or have someone build it for you, not me.
Whew, glad you didn't say it wasn't a password manager...
My old boss used it a password manager, no kidding...
My current boss who said she was retiring about 5 years ago (but didn't...) used Excel as a password manager but would create her own little "boxes" of merged cells, then when she wanted to clear the contents of a merged cell she'd select the whole area and delete entire rows and columns, but she wouldn't notice, so later then complain that the Gen Z office admin was "deleting important passwords" and when I pointed out that it was the boss doing that she'd either deny it, or repeat her process while paying closer attention then blame "Microsoft doing stupid things with this new Excel, it didn't do this before the cloud" (don't ask me why she thought her excel 2010 was on the cloud, other than the fact she saved this doc in Dropbox)
Said scape goat office admin transferred everything to OneNote when we did get finally get Microsoft 365, so at least the boss would stop accidentally deleting everything when trying to edit one thing.
Then the boss started to get annoyed at me for all my "stupid and impossible passwords", how dare I have passwords like "nf6oO!D4t^q%Tnr3" and "&x#5Fr$s68iETYof". I asked why it's a problem, just copy and paste, my passwords are like that because I generate mine within a password manager and I'm not changing my process, I'm already heavily compromising by putting my passwords in her silly OneNote so she can log into accounts I've set up.
She had all her passwords in this document, but she wasn't even using it to copy paste. She'd look at the document to read the password then type it out manually....
I showed her my password manager so she'd understand how useful it is, turns out our MSP had already set one up for her! But she didn't like it because "it always asks me to check a code on my phone just to see my passwords, it takes too long to faff around with my phone, OneNote is just as secure because it's in the Dropbox and you can't get into the Dropbox without the password."
Lord help me.
Lord help her! How has she even made it this far in life? 😂
Haha, I know right!
Our industry was notoriously late to go digital, even in 2020 I heard of organisations physically mailing out letters to clients because no one had an established individual user email system
Our industry (community centres and non accredited adult education) dominated by grannies, retireees who volunteer, and council workers that burnt out and don't care to change the status quo the grannies have set up.
I think my boss used to be sharper in her prime (or rather, I know she was, because I've seen examples of her work from 20 years ago), but she's in her mid seventies, and the lead poisoning and chemo-brain have taken their toll on her.
My old company had a saved spreadsheet on the O:drive called "Passwords"
Our users have had access to Password Safe, then Keepass, then LastPass, now Keeper. Guess what still pops up in screen shares.
Years ago, I've recommended KeePass to a girl from marketing who kept a long list of passwords on paper on her desk. She forgot the master pass after a week or so. That was the end of my trust in users' ability to maintain a safe environment.
Haven't used keepass but it should ask for master password at least once a day right? Or did she not require any credentials for more than a week?
Keepass will autolock after a minute or so, she used that pass few times a day...
My dad uses it as a password manager
I work for a Fortune 500 company and I can tell you the reason why excel (and Google sheets) are used inappropriately is because cyber data controls make creating and maintaining a database very hard. Not only that but the skills required to know how to make a table in a spreadsheet is nowhere near the skills required to deploy, maintain, and provision a database table.
Spreadsheets don't require a UI to be built. People don't have to learn a new app just to be able to see data.
I'm an IT guy too and I'm the first to tell you that spreadsheets suck. But when it takes an act of a board to create new tables in a database, I tell ya....might as well just use spreadsheets.
Excel is a game dev and game test kit.
Like Snakes, Bowman, CimCity, etc
The problem is, people dig to deep into excel functions, some of them could easily build a database or do some programming (if/else), but they know nothing outside of their ms-office -ecosystem.
Just a hint for ms-office devs, why not a low-code-builder with SQL backend. Just call it squirrel or powersql or something.
It's more than just knowing things outside the ms office ecosystem. People use the tools they have. So when IT locks down the whole system and it takes an act of God to get anything else installed, you find ways to hammer that nail with whatever blunt object you have in hand.
I see you're in enterprise.
MS Access is a thing...
And it's terrible.
It wasn't that bad in 2003. Too bad it's still stuck there.
exactly this. 200%
Power Platform with dataverse is essentially this
Technically even Access would make more sense. Isn't that part of the same office package or does that cost more?
Granted, SQL is still better but I've worked in government where you're lucky to be using digital sheets at all.
I specifically avoided mentioning Access as I have hear horror stories about it when it goes too far.
All those stories are 100% true. And when someone did end up hosting an Oracle based SQL database, they'd pull from it in Access and it'd take several hours for one query. My R code did the same in about 10 seconds.
It's not good software. Lol
Access has its uses, need a database to catalog your (parents) physical photo albums, or perhaps you want to have a database for recipies at home to make them easier to find, then in those cases Access should be fine if you are willing to maintain it.
Reminding me of corrupted .mdb files means I need more alcohol tonight to pacify the demons in my head
Not sure about the current state of things since I haven't used MS Office in decades, and I believe it's entirely made of web apps now, but Access definitely used to be extra. As in, there always were at least two editions of Office, one that included Access and one that didn't. And the former was significantly more expensive.
I actually know this one. Access is available through the MS Office 2019 bundle officially and they pretend it's not really there with 365, but if you have Office365 you can download the app version to work offline. Access still doesn't show up on the main list in the app, but if you search it's there. There's also a way to search it in apps online in 365 but it just downloads it and only runs in the app.
I recently went back to school and the basic degree requirements necessitated an intro to CIS class. It was just a glorified MS suite class. But I had an interesting time figuring out how to get to Access and no where online makes it clear. That's the main reason I typed this out. Maybe some day someone else will have the same issue and this comment will show up on a search and be able to help them. You're welcome future person!
OF COURSE the actual devil would know such things... LOL
Its not that simple.
Yes, there are the people who think there is genuinely no problem with this. Just like there are people who will never delete a line of code in favor of commenting everything and who refuse to write commit messages no matter how many times their co-workers beg them to.
But, generally, people know it is a horrible workflow and is prone to failure. But there is no time and resources available to revamp the entire system. Because that likely involves going "offline" for the migration as well as the subsequent retraining. Its no different than the technical debt we all laugh and cry about. We know that server is held together with chewing gum and shoe strings but we don't have time or authorization to tear it down and rebuild it from scratch. We are just hoping it doesn't fail at a bad time.
If you're lucky? You can periodically export the excel sheet to a database (sql or access, it doesn't matter). You are still doing things wrong but you at least have a recovery option at that point. But, if you can't, you are more or less fucked and know it.
As for another Lesson Learned. A database solution without high-ish availability and backups is actually worse than the god awful spreadsheet. Because people know when the spreadsheet fail and likely are self-important enough they will stop everything to recover it. People tend to ignore error messages when they try to submit a record or save something and you find out that the disk failed last week and you lost everything.
Shit, I'll mock them. I'm too jaded and depressed at this point in my career to give a fuck. I'll go full Nick Burns on their asses if one of my end users wants to use Excel as a database and expects me to make it work. The may even learn something in the process. It might be the fact that I'm a dick, but everyone figures that out pretty quickly.
Dudes rock
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Nick Burns
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
It's great at (correspondence) Battleship with a coworker though. Didn't see this on the "not a..." list. Oh, and (correspondence) Guess Who!
I love the idea of xls applications, that's really evil!
Correct, it's for tracking work items.
You would be aghast at the sort of horrors my previous place of employment used- not even Excel- Google Sheets for.
It's not even a good analytics tool. If you submit an academic paper with excel plots in it, I'll reject that shit without reading it and type "lmaoooooooo..." To the review character limit.
My 12 year old child knows how to use matplotlib and he thinks Santa can fit down a chimney.
It is good enough for financial and marketing analytics, just because there are better tools for scientific applications doesn't make Excel a bad analytic tool for general use.
It depends on the scale. I'll agree that excel is a great tool for household finances.