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What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand? (feddit.nl)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I've been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It's a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We're all genuinely happy and satisfied. I'm kind of casually looking for a boyfriend of my own.

But I feel like I only hear negative stories about other poly experiences. It's always unstable people and situations. It's always two out of three people happy at most. Surely there are other success stories out there, and I just hear the disasters because they're more memorable and fun to tell. Does anyone else have or know a polyamory success story?

EDIT: This blew up a little while I was asleep. I promise I'm at least reading every comment.

EDIT 2.0: ngl I did not expect the trope of polyamory to fix a struggling relationship would be so real. We did just the opposite and are both baffled. Don't use volitility to fight the volitility.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

While I wouldn't necessarily go to bed with all of them, there are a number of people who have deeply impacted my life in distinct ways, and from whom I have learned a great deal. Hell, I don't even like all of them, but that doesn't mean they're not a meaningful part of my life.

Agree with your take on adding another person to solve problems - always a terrible idea.

My idea of 'consenting adults' has morphed significantly between, say, 21 and... my current age. Even the subsets of 'consent' and 'adult' have morphed. But at the end of the day, honesty is all that we have.

I adore spending time with my wife - whether we're 'doing' something' together, or doing individual things we can talk about later.

Poly means never running out of topics of conversation, or ways to understand each other.

'Why her?' really means 'Our relationship evolves, as all relationship should, what interest you about her and how can I support you?"

That "how can I support you?" question is critical, and we've been married long enough that I never doubt the legitimacy of the question.