this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (8 children)

Lisp. All is Lisp.

Data's entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.

Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior's Language!

Vulcans exclusively use APL.

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.

Cardassians use Haskell because they're evil.

[–] zeet 40 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago

Holy shit you win, lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

That's what the Pakled use. The best of them actually use QuickBasic to "make it go faster".

[–] Ensign_Crab 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you'd think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.

[–] MajorHavoc 17 points 2 years ago

Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.

[–] MajorHavoc 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'll just add that Data was previously built as a Vi plugin, but it was evil, so Doctor Soong disassembled it and shut it down. A lot of trouble could have been saved it Dr Soong had learned how to actually exit Vi.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Evil as in emacs evil-mode?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Are you sure? They might have learned something then. Or did they get stuck with a turtle-logic compiler instead?

[–] directive0 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.

After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

The Q continum uses forth.